AIBU to think toddler groups are reasonably for parents, not childminders?

[Cantheowneroftheredcorsapleasemovetheircar]

I've seen a couple of posts on Facebook now from toddler groups or mum and baby groups requesting that childminders do not attend and that it's for parents and children.

These are those small church hall or community centre type groups, where there's toys, you get a biscuit and sing wheels on the bus, then go home for nap time, that sort of thing.

AIBU to think that actually, that's quite reasonable? They usually have limited space because they are in church halls, and are popular. They aren't just for babies and toddlers IMO they are a lifeline for parents, usually mums and provide support and a chance to make friends with other mums, connect, ask for advice, breastfeed in comfort, have a hot cup of tea they didn't need to make themselves, and get some adult conservation for a bit. Baby and toddlerhood can be such an isolating time.

I get that children love it and it's a shame for them to miss out just because their parents are at work, but surely it's there for the benefits of parents just as much of not more, and childminders shouldn't be clogging up the spaces?

Childminders probably need adult conversation too.

They’re primarily for toddlers…
Does it actually matter who takes them?

I don't agree. They are not just for toddlers, they are for parents too

I've never been to one of these but it seems a reasonable rule to me. If I was the parent I'd wonder why I was paying a childminder for childcare if they were just going to take them to a free group where they don't have to do a lot with the kids themselves.

As in, the organisers of the groups? Up to them to prioritise whoever they want. Seems odd to me but then I don't care enough to run an all comers toddler group, so the people who do the work get to choose.

They're for toddlers, the clue is in the name. Why would you want to police what adults come with the toddlers?

Yabu, it’s for children not the people who bring them there.

I think most childminders are parents too. In my experience, anyway.

I suppose its up to the people who run them. And if their intention is specifically support for parents that's fair enough.

I was a childminder and I never encountered that view point in my years childminding and attending many groups though. They were all general toddler and carer type groups and I didn't do anything that would have ruined the group for anyone else. There were plenty of people with 2 kids there and the most I had was 3 so it's not even like I was cluttering the place up with hoardes of kids either.

The name being "parents and toddlers group"

The reason why I want to police, or think its reasonable that it is policed, is in my post. They are a lifeline for parents at an isolating time and an opportunity to connect with other parents.

They’re for the toddlers. Ok, you can argue they’re for both but why on earth would you exclude a toddler from something just because their parent couldn’t go? I think it’s very unreasonable.

My children did all sorts of cool social things with their childminder which included play groups. It was an important part of their development. Perhaps limit how many kids per adult but why ban childminders? Would you ban foster carers?

Parents need to find their own support system. It’s for the child.
so you think a few kids should miss out because ‘poor wee mum’ needs it more?

Oh and yes, for a chunk of time when I was childminding I had my own kid with me too! So then what?

A childminder might be quite handy and have lots of useful advice on handling toddlers too. I wouldn't mind that.

if the groups are genuinely full and parents with their children arent able to get in then yes.

some groups near me that are free for parents are chargeable for childminders, nurseries and nannies, others are not.

as a parent i wouldn't mind it if the childminder is actively engaging with my child.

Does it really matter what relation the child has to the adult bringing them along?

Fgs ‘isolating’ time makes it sounds so dramatic. No one forced this upon them, they chose to have the child. The child needs this far more than a parent does

Don’t you think childminders, who are spending their whole day with other people’s children and no adults, may feel isolated too?

I'm a foster carer, would I be banned too?

No, I don't think they are though. I think they are for parents, primarily mums, just as much. That's the impression I've always got when I've gone to them.

I agree and would you ban grandparents? What if the grandparents are paid a bit by the parents to look after the child regularly, is that where you draw the line.

I didn't use a childminder but I dislike the snobbery they sometimes get

I took children to groups years ago when I was a childminder. It can be isolating for childminders just as much as parents and children need to socialise surely?

One last post...I actually made friends with lots of parents through those groups. Even though I wasn't always there as a parent, they were still quite happy to chat.

I would suspect this is to stop childminders rocking up with six kids in tow!