DH away and not answering phone

[Wanttohelpbuthow]

DH has been away for work on and off for the last few weeks, really long hours + jet lag.

He came home for one night on Tuesday night (we live near a major airport) which was essentially a layover almost at our house before driving the next morning 5 hours, again for work where he is the for the next 10 days.

He was obviously incredibly tired and was being unreasonable and out of character yesterday morning before he left which resulted in an argument. He then left without saying goodbye and I haven’t heard from him since, he’s never ignored me before but he went the entire day ignoring any calls or messages. I left it from mid afternoon but now still haven’t heard from him, the only reason I know he’s got there safely is because I have him on find friends.

I can also see he is still at the hotel … it’s 1pm and he should be working today as far as I know. I’m now getting really worried. Is there anything I can do apart from wait? Am I being overly anxious?

I’d be concerned too. Any update, op?

Reception know who is in which room. They won't tell you the number but will call the room or knock on the door if you say you have reason to worry.

I hope you managed to get hold of him and he’d just left his phone in the room

Well, I think the obvious fear is that he's lying in a hotel bed seriously unwell or worse. It's not that difficult to understand.

I'd definitely call for the hotel to check on him, esp if he was delirious. My uncle once went into a diabetic coma and passed, he would have been fine if found quickly.

One reason: A female.

This.

He sounds absolutely exhausted and burnt out. Let him get on with his job.

@Wanttohelpbuthow what was the outcome? Did DH respond to you or did you contact the hotel?

What happened @Wanttohelpbuthow?
Did you manage to get through?

You had an argument, your husband left without saying goodbye and now he's not responding to texts or calls. He woke up delirious from exhaustion and didn't remember the conversation.

1. He's still annoyed, is perfectly fine and ignoring you.
2. He's arrived at his hotel, and has become unwell due to exhaustion.
3. He's arrived but has left his phone in his room, either accidentally or intentional.
4. He's focused on the job in hand and can't afford to be distracted.

You have two choices: wait and see if he calls/texts you or you call the hotel and ask them to check on him.

My husband has worked away before, due to his job being in a highly secure government area, he can't take his phone. I still have a number I can call in an emergency. I had to do this when my Mum had a stroke, and called the number. My husband was tracked down, and able to call me (he caught the next available train home).

What happened?????

Sounds like he's sulking, you can see where he is on the app. I'd leave him to it. Use the time to think about whether you want to be with a sulker.

How worrying @Wanttohelpbuthow . I hope you've tracked him down by now? The delirium sounds scary.

Poor guy needs a decent sleep and break
Message him and leave it for him to get back to you.

How do you know he’s fine ? He could be ill ? Although by the sound of it, he’s giving her the silent treatment.

This sounds exactly like my brother and SIL - I hope it isn't! 🤔

Assuming it isn't, why can't you just give your husband some space? I know exactly how my brother gets when he is absolutely exhausted after months of working away, and she is trying to talk to him and get him to make decisions when he's just flown back from weeks of work and has just got off a flight from eg Japan.

My brother and I talk all the time, but when he is in a particularly busy phase, we don't hear from him for weeks.

Sounds like the company's expectations of him being able to constantly travel with no sleep are unreasonable.

Some people are so sure he is fine. We had that before with someone posting about their missing husband. Posters were really quite adamant and downright cruel. He was found dead.

Not saying that has happened here as clearly I do not know, but it sounds like something is remiss and a call to reception hurts no one.

This.

hope all is ok OP

Should be able to find it on the Companies Office website, although the contact number could be the companies accountant.
Hotel would be your best bet.

Why on earth would you post something so cruel to an OP who is obviously concerned about her husbands’ welfare ?

Aneurism is also a possibility with a lot of flying.
Hopefully he is ok, just busy and needing a bit of space.

Exactly….my very competent husband took very ill in the blink of an eye this year!!

Give it a shot and they may not transfer you to him for privacy but ask for a welfare check and that they tell him to call you

This reminds me of when I worked as a consultant with lots of weekly travel and I remember how it put a strain on our marriage

It took deep retrospection and marriage counselling for me to realize that I was so stressed that I would find something to fight about on Sundays before I flew out early Monday morning and I didn't realize it. I was probably stressed grumpy and it took the tiniest spark to get me upset.

Your husband's travel sounds even worse than mine which was Monday to Thursday so a serious conversation may be required to see how you can both work together and handle it and more importantly ensure he is able to open up and share his feelings etc. men tend to keep things in and try to deal with it on their own but it always comes out one way or the other and both of you need to be able to focus and find ways to cope or he may need to find another job or role if it gets too much to handle.

All those saying don’t phone, I would also rather oiss off a grumpy husband than leave him unconscious in a hotel room or worse and wait until he misses check out/room cleaner to find him