DH away and not answering phone

[Wanttohelpbuthow]

DH has been away for work on and off for the last few weeks, really long hours + jet lag.

He came home for one night on Tuesday night (we live near a major airport) which was essentially a layover almost at our house before driving the next morning 5 hours, again for work where he is the for the next 10 days.

He was obviously incredibly tired and was being unreasonable and out of character yesterday morning before he left which resulted in an argument. He then left without saying goodbye and I haven’t heard from him since, he’s never ignored me before but he went the entire day ignoring any calls or messages. I left it from mid afternoon but now still haven’t heard from him, the only reason I know he’s got there safely is because I have him on find friends.

I can also see he is still at the hotel … it’s 1pm and he should be working today as far as I know. I’m now getting really worried. Is there anything I can do apart from wait? Am I being overly anxious?

We have find a phone on both our phones (useful for when I can’t find mine in the house!) Useful for mundane things like when to put dinner on if other person is travelling and can work out how far away, or has gone walking remotely. Don’t use it for any other reasons

What's the relevance of this?

34 years together and Dh and I have family feature which means every device he, I and both our children have can be tracked. We can see where every device is - and therefore each other, via phone location. I technically own my DC’s phones and will do so until they leave university, so being able to see the phones means I can block them in the event of loss/theft. It also meant I could check my eldest was going to lectures and get an indication whether they were struggling (SEN/Autism).

There’s nothing sinister about it - I can check whether DH is on the train and whether he is 30mins away to pop supper in the oven. He can check I am still on the way and have not been in an accident if he is surprised I’m not back yet - and we can do this without bombarding each other with texts when the other is driving or trying to do work calls.

Nah, still weird IMO.

We all share our locations on Google maps - me, DH, DC. It just makes life easier if we need to know when someone will be home, if they’ve left work yet etc. Why not?
But then DH and I have full access to each others phones too. Nothing to hide. Spent most of our lives together so very few surprises.

How does it feel to be “jumped on” @ThreadGuardDog ?

Not odd at all. We all have the life360 app on our phones.
It's only odd if you have something to hide 🤔🤨

That's not true at all, I have absolutely nothing to hide but I'd think it odd if a family member wanted to track me 24/7. The odd feature is weird surveillance not that anyone is doing something suspicious or devious

Different strokes for different folks

along as both parties completely fine with it - nothing odd about it whatsoever

Exactly. Not wanting your partner tracking your every move is not 'having something to hide.' It suggests mistrust in a relationship to want to know where your partner is 24/7. I could never be in a relationship like that. DH and I trust each other 100%, and don't need a fecking APP to spy on each other.

Hugely unhealthy and weird.

I agree and would never consent to this, I find it so strange that people do this but many do. To me it's controlling and co dependent behaviour but each to their own I guess.

If both use it - who’s controlling who?

one of those things I have never done or even thought to do with my partner. But just another thing that I think “hey people do things differently and that doesn’t make their way weird!”

if both happy with it, I don’t see an issue 🤷‍♀️

What happened @Wanttohelpbuthow hope all is well

Not as good as the phrase suggests !!😂

Absolutely @Wanttohelpbuthow . Works for some people apparently. It would NOT suit me! And yes, I agree it is controlling and co-dependent behaviour. As you say though, each to their own...

Anyway, it looks like the OP is not coming back to the thread. Hope everything is OK @Wanttohelpbuthow and the only reason you didn't return is because you've forgotten your login details.

Change the locks.

Meant to quote @Dontlletmedownbruce first in my post there, before the one by @TimeFlysWhenYoureHavingRum (Sorry!)

Know people who do this. Or checking if it's too late to ask them to pick up milk or something.

He could have just fell asleep or left his phone in the hotel. Hope he’s ok

Any update?

I don't think she's coming back @SEMREHLover

Hopefully no news is good news.....🙏🏼

Having tracking on your phone or not very much depends on your relationship dynamic.

We have location sharing on, it's handy to see when the other is on their way home from work or if they're near a shop when whoever is at home realises the kids have finished the milk. Other than that neither of us find it interesting in the slightest. I would hate it if I had a partner that used it to check up on me but that would be a partner issue, not a phone feature issue. I don't see it as any different to telling him where I'm going (which I also do), it means when he wasn't paying attention and he wonders why I'm not back from work he can look and say 'oh yes, she said she was going to the gym' rather than having to message and potentially worrying when I didn't reply because my phone was in my bag.

If we wanted to hide something I'm sure we could do so easily, we both chose to switch it on.

I think if one in the relationship wants location sharing on it's very hard for the other to object without looking like they have something to hide which is exactly what posters have said in this thread when someone has said they object to it.