Page 6 | DH away and not answering phone

Wanttohelpbuthow · 2026-10-01T11:55:21+00:00

DH has been away for work on and off for the last few weeks, really long hours + jet lag. He came home for one night on Tuesday night (we live near a major airport) which was essentially a layover almost at our house before driving the next morning 5 hours, again for work where he is the for the next 10 days. He was obviously incredibly tired and was being unreasonable and out of character yesterday morning before he left which resulted in an argument. He then left without saying goodbye and I haven’t heard from him since, he’s never ignored me before but he went the entire day ignoring any calls or messages. I left it from mid afternoon but now still haven’t heard from him, the only reason I know he’s got there safely is because I have him on find friends. I can also see he is still at the hotel … it’s 1pm and he should be working today as far as I know. I’m now getting really worried. Is there anything I can do apart from wait? Am I being overly anxious?

ThreadGuardDog · 04/10/2026 09:39

CarrieMoonbeams · 04/10/2026 09:22

See, I kind of vaguely remember something like that, but I'm a bit wary of typing out even the little bit that I remember in case I get banned! The husband in the one I remember definitely died in an accident though 😢

Edited to add, also of course I meant to say that it would be awful for the family in that case to have it brought up again ☹️

Edited

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The info I found on AI went on to say that in these circumstances MN delete or archive the threads and that there is an unwritten rule that where posters reference them, they don’t quote the usernames otherwise MN will delete. I’d never heard of that up until now - not that I’d know the username anyway because it was a long time ago.

DownwithTG · 04/10/2026 09:40

What a thread to even raise on this one though!

ThreadGuardDog · 04/10/2026 09:43

DownwithTG · 04/10/2026 09:40

What a thread to even raise on this one though!

Why ? I was simply pointing out that something serious may have happened preventing OP from updating. The assumption is that she’s simply left - that may well be the case. Or it may not be.

Lifelover16 · 04/10/2026 09:45

I agree with other posters - phoning the hotel, giving his name and asking to be put through to his room phone is your best bet. Check the time difference so you are not calling when he could be sleeping.

Fatiguedwithlife · 04/10/2026 09:49

Did he turn up OP?

ThreadGuardDog · 04/10/2026 09:50

Lifelover16 · 04/10/2026 09:45

I agree with other posters - phoning the hotel, giving his name and asking to be put through to his room phone is your best bet. Check the time difference so you are not calling when he could be sleeping.

I think he’s in the same country - OP said he had a long drive to the hotel.

SweetnsourNZ · 04/10/2026 10:05

LydiaJayne · 03/10/2026 22:11

I think the OP is in the UK, theres no central register of phone numbers here, Google is the best way to find a phone number

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Ok

PrettyLittleRose · 04/10/2026 10:10

justasking111 · 04/10/2026 09:23

The thread may have been deleted at OP request. I've seen a similar one, sudden death that was deleted. Otherwise you get pages of condolences.

People would still have seen it though!

PrettyLittleRose · 04/10/2026 10:10

DownwithTG · 04/10/2026 09:40

What a thread to even raise on this one though!

I know right. Insensitive much?! 😱

PrettyLittleRose · 04/10/2026 10:11

ThreadGuardDog · 04/10/2026 09:39

The info I found on AI went on to say that in these circumstances MN delete or archive the threads and that there is an unwritten rule that where posters reference them, they don’t quote the usernames otherwise MN will delete. I’d never heard of that up until now - not that I’d know the username anyway because it was a long time ago.

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Again, even if Mumsnet had deleted a specific thread, people would still remember it. No-one on this thread does. Except you.

ByWittyLimePoet · 04/10/2026 10:18

What was the argument about?

Bitsostuff · 04/10/2026 10:19

ThreadGuardDog · 04/10/2026 08:29

I was just remembering a thread a while back - similar circumstances, the husband was staying in a hotel for work. OP disappeared from the thread and updated a couple of weeks later that he’d been found dead. I agree, it’s unlikely but it does happen.

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There was a thread some years ago which concluded with the OPs husband /partner having died although I don't think the circumstances were exactly what you've described here. I remember it because it was quite near to where I live and there were articles in the local news.

ThreadGuardDog · 04/10/2026 10:25

PrettyLittleRose · 04/10/2026 10:11

Again, even if Mumsnet had deleted a specific thread, people would still remember it. No-one on this thread does. Except you.

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Can you claim to have seen every single thread that’s appeared daily on MN ? On every board ? I can’t. And at least one poster has recollections of seeing something similar. It was a thought and vague recollection - and it was in support of OP, who is coming in for some stick because she hasn’t returned. I was simply pointing out that if something had happened updating randoms on the internet wouldn’t be her priority.

PrettyLittleRose · 04/10/2026 10:38

ThreadGuardDog · 04/10/2026 10:25

Can you claim to have seen every single thread that’s appeared daily on MN ? On every board ? I can’t. And at least one poster has recollections of seeing something similar. It was a thought and vague recollection - and it was in support of OP, who is coming in for some stick because she hasn’t returned. I was simply pointing out that if something had happened updating randoms on the internet wouldn’t be her priority.

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Well of course I cannot claim to be on every thread ever, but many posters on here have said they don't remember it. Even so, if there WAS such a thread, this would be very very rare. As I said, in the vast vast majority of cases, (probably close to 100%,) when the OP DOES come back, the husband is always OK.

And in the case of the OP, he is probably OK too.

Do you not want the OP's husband to be OK?! You seem to be peddling doom and gloom. Why are you doing this?

ThreadGuardDog · 04/10/2026 10:40

PrettyLittleRose · 04/10/2026 10:38

Well of course I cannot claim to be on every thread ever, but many posters on here have said they don't remember it. Even so, if there WAS such a thread, this would be very very rare. As I said, in the vast vast majority of cases, (probably close to 100%,) when the OP DOES come back, the husband is always OK.

And in the case of the OP, he is probably OK too.

Do you not want the OP's husband to be OK?! You seem to be peddling doom and gloom. Why are you doing this?

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Doing what ? I made a simple comment and several posters jumped on me. And of course I want the OP’s husband to be OK - why would I not ?

DBSFstupid · 04/10/2026 10:51

DownwithTG · 04/10/2026 06:39

Not going to happen. I see it all the time. OP’s start threads. Get the attention support, obviously no big story involved at all and not doubt he was absolutely fine. But OP never bothers to update

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I think it's rude as people do take things to heart on here. I'm genuinely concerned.
I gave a lot of valuable info to a poster once and it took me a long time to source it and put it together. I didn't even get a 'LIKE' emoji in thanks.

DBSFstupid · 04/10/2026 11:00

PrettyLittleRose · 04/10/2026 08:15

As a previous poster said, that is very unlikely.

Some posters say no-one owes anyone an update on here, but I disagree. When someone has posted to garner support and information and help, and people have taken time out of their day to offer help, (and the OP never comes back,) it's frustrating, and is going to result in people not bothering to respond in the future. Even this thread has hardly got any replies really, and that's because this happens so much; the OP posting their dilemma and never returning.

Also, the 'my DH hasn't come home,' and 'my DH is away and I can't get in touch with him' type threads are quite frequent here, and on the ones who DO update, he is ALWAYS OK. So I think most posters just don't respond on this type of thread now anyway.

This happens a lot, (posters putting a first post and not returning to update,) and IMO it's never because something awful has happened. (If it did they would update... even if it was a week later.) People just don't come back. I can only surmise that they may have made up a new account and lost/forgotten the log-in details, and can't be bothered to re-register.

Someone posted a few months back about how she had got 4 speeding tickets for one day. She went through a 20mph zone and was doing 30, (as she thought it was 30!) and had passed a speed camera on the way to somewhere - there and back and there and back, so she passed it 4 times. Apparently she was told she would have her licence revoked.

She got an enormous amount of help and support and people getting information for her, telling her who to contact and what she needed to do, and that it's extremely unfair that she loses her licence for this, etc etc, and she never ever came back. No-one ever knew what happened. People were asking for several weeks after she had posted the thread, but she never returned. As I say, it's this kind of thing that is going to make people not bother to help, or engage with the poster at all.

I genuinely hope the OP and her husband are both OK, but I don't think people are being unreasonable to wonder what has happened, and to request an update.

.

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Yes this. When I queried why the poster hadn't replied at all about something that I posted that I had put a lot of effort into I got shit on here for even mentioning it... "The OP doesn't own you answer blah blah blah..." well yes, the rude cow did owe some sort of acknowledgement however small. (it wasn't life or death btw)

Heathertrott2 · 04/10/2026 11:07

I don't understand how this thread is still trending when the OP has contributed 3 posts and hasn't been back in 3 days.(Yes I'm know I'm encouraging it to stay trending by commenting this)

MN should really introduce a "last online" feature so that posters know whether an OP has been on and is effectively ignoring providing an update , as that should tell you all you need to know about how genuine a thread is

Scottishlash · 04/10/2026 11:14

News?

DBSFstupid · 04/10/2026 11:22

Heathertrott2 · 04/10/2026 11:07

I don't understand how this thread is still trending when the OP has contributed 3 posts and hasn't been back in 3 days.(Yes I'm know I'm encouraging it to stay trending by commenting this)

MN should really introduce a "last online" feature so that posters know whether an OP has been on and is effectively ignoring providing an update , as that should tell you all you need to know about how genuine a thread is

Because it's struck a cord with lots of people I feel. It has with me.

TR0LLING · 04/10/2026 11:26

I’d try not to worry OP. Id say it’s

90% likely that he’s crashed out in bed / left his phone on silent / in the room
9.9% likely he’s having an affair and created the row so it makes him feel less guilty about cheating
0.1 % likely that anything bad has happened to him while he’s in the hotel. If he had not turned up for a work meeting, his boss / colleagues would have checked his room to see if he’s ok.

If you have no other reasons to be concerned about an affair, then ignore my odds of that option. If you do have reasons, then say nothing to him and investigate more.

Ignore the weird people here who say you are “ tracking him “. They obviously don’t undertand how this works, that you need the person’s consent. it’s very normal to have your immediate family on “ find my “, especially if they travel a lot.

SweetnsourNZ · 04/10/2026 11:47

Any updates OP? I hope everything is ok.

LBFseBrom · 04/10/2026 11:48

I hope he is home now.

PrettyLittleRose · 04/10/2026 11:50

I do find it a bit odd that the OP has a tracker on her husband though, I have to say. In 32-ish years together, DH and I have never had this.

.

CelticSilver · 04/10/2026 11:59

Please tell me he's not a pilot?