To be shocked to read on reddit threads discussing andy carrol the many reports of women sexually assaulting men

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To think It was really sad to read so many posts where men detail unwilling sex or waking up to sex acts etc. All saying no one takes this seriously and the impact its had on them.

Is this widely known?

Do we need to be talking about women gaining consent from men more .

Yep.

Probably because they know their son was acting very inappropriately and they don't know about what happened with my son and the girl. It isn't like he told everyone. He was really embarrassed about how much it worried him and that he was not sleeping etc. He sort of thought that he should feel some sort of pride or something rather than genuine fear.

Did I tell a child that I've gone to jail so she should stop harassing my son? No....

Maybe your son should have! I reckon that would have stopped her on her tracks!

Only someone unhinged would say that to a child. Are you seeing a therapist at the moment?

She was harassing your son
all I am saying is that if he’d mentioned fact you’d been in prison for years - she might have reined it in. Something to have in his back pocket!

either way - it all came to light and she stopped immediately. Disappointing school though. I wouldn’t trust that kind of school educating my child tbh

It is shocking, OP.
I suspect that female on male sexual assaults are rarely reported due to the victim feeling ashamed.
And of course we know that male on female attacks are vastly underreported and, where prosecuted, rarely result in a conviction.
Open conversations about both scenarios can only be a good thing and I applaud celebrities/famous people for speaking out and opening up the dialogue.

No, again normal people (even ones who have been to.jail) don't use that sort of thing to threaten or control children. Especially in their suburban private schools.

Yes I suppose not something you’d want to broadcast.

Anyway - can’t say I’d have been happy with my child carrying on at such a spineless school

It's a great school. They just arent immune to acting with societal bias on occasion.

I don't mind telling anyone that I've been to jail. I just wouldn't use it to threaten someone, especially a child. As I said, that is unhinged.

A great school? And this was their response to harassment? Bona fide disturbing harassment?

ok. Not somewhere that I would be happy educating my child 🤷‍♀️

Nowhere can be perfect. They've done plenty of great things to support him. All my kids will go there.

With respect, you've already suggested that me or my son should have threatened a child by telling her I'd gone to jail, so I'm not sure your decision making is sound when it comes to interacting with young people, anyway.

I would take that with a pinch of salt tbh

I am aware of many cases of men sexually assaulted by women, including high powered women like MPs etc.

They feel like they need to ‘laugh it off’. They wouldn’t report it, even though they’re clearly affected by it as they talk about it often. They often start avoiding a particular work colleague after saying no to her advances, resign etc.

Men assaulted by another man tend to be quite seriously traumatised to the point of complete withdrawal from everything.

I encourage them to report it but they feel it would go absolutely nowhere and just ruin their career. Also the language from other men tends to be ‘Hope you enjoyed it, mate’ and similar.

Can’t really comment on scale/ numbers as:
a) it’s basically never reported because of shame, other than perhaps in the gay community
b) it’s not discussed with friends or loved ones because men often don’t have these types of relationship dynamic where something like this can be admitted

The man in the OP was assaulted by another man, so I'm not sure why you decided to frame it the way you did, OP.

Obviously men will have experienced sexual abuse by women; women are only a tiny percentage of sexual abuse perpetrators, but that percentage is a large number when looking at millions of people.

Ultimately though, unless drugged or otherwise incapacitated, men don't have the same fear of being physically overpowered by women. My DH was groped by drunk women frequently at bars when he worked in them when young, and while he found it irritating and intrusive, he was never afraid.

That said, of course sexual assault is wrong, whoever is committing it, and entirely unacceptable. But I think men have more trouble grasping that fact than women do...

True, but the vast majority of victims of violence are men. Nobody is saying it's unreasonable to talk about VAWG because of this. Quite the opposite in fact.

So men aren’t allowed any sympathy? Disgusting attitude

Imagine if the genders were reversed and no one was believing the woman…

I knew Mumsnet hated men but this is truly bad

I have called out female friends and colleagues on nights out who have gone past the 'banter/comments' (which i also hate) and gone into touching. One older woman said 'oh its just abut fun, everyone's having a good time!'. Her Dd(22) was with us so I said oh so it'll be fun if that 50+ bloke does that to your daughter. No. That's different...its really not.

Men who are harassed and sexually assaulted obviously have the same right to protecting and the law.

Recently I read a post of a man who was raped by another acquaintance after a night out. He reported it. It was swiftly dealt with and the rapist was prosecuted (i can't recall his sentence).
My initial thought was brilliant. Well done for reporting, but then I was...i wonder how quickly a reported rape of a woman would have carried to prosecution, if prosecution at all.

I did wonder what the % of reported rape and prosecution rates were for men reporting rape compared to women reporting rapes (which are well documented as being horrendously low). EVERY rape victim should be given justice and there should be no real difference but I bet there is.

Most women I know still have to consider their safety on a daily basis whereas the men I know, do not ever think about it.

I think that's just because they're conditioned to be 'resilient'. They make up something like 80% of homicide victims and are 4x more likely to be attacked by a stranger going by the last crime data I saw.

Sure, "probably", because we're all pretending bad behaviour by males is always taken extremely seriously, despite what we see in the news. 🙄

Has anyone popped up to say NOT ALL WOMEN yet, like they do for men when rape is usually discussed? No? How strange.

I mean it’s mainly other men who don’t take it seriously/ mock them for it.

I have watched too many TV dramas!

Gotta say I often find a lot of the rhetoric around this topic to be a bit disingenuous, whether intentional or just the result of people parroting second hand opinions.

Like, people are very quick to say it's "nothing to do with women" but they conveniently ignore the fact that feminists have for decades been vociferously pushing the idea that men's safety isn't something to worry about.

It's not just a case of focusing on women's safety (which is of course a personal choice and perfectly understandable for a female). In almost every discussion we have posters opining on how lucky men are to be able to walk safely at night etc.

There's dozens of threads about women's safety when out and about, and in this very thread it only took a few posts before somebody said "Most women I know still have to consider their safety on a daily basis whereas the men I know, do not ever think about it." The poster is presumably not a mind reader so she has no idea what the men she knows are actually thinking. And in reality most men don't like to admit to being scared because we've been told that 'boys don't cry' and that they must maintain a stiff upper lip and play the protector etc.

In reality, men are 4x more likely to be attacked by a stranger (going by ONS data) and make up 70% of homicide victims, whilst women are actually most at risk around people they know and in the home. So the common claim that men don't need to be worried about their safety is absolutely not true! But when this becomes the dominant narrative it's logical that it'll discourage men from wanting to speak up or take measures that might lead to them being seen as wimps.