To be suprised schools still do French exchanges ?what with the safeguard risks

[WhatTheCatHeard]

So my child is disappointed
that we don’t want them to go int he French exchange, which woudl
be basically our child living with another random family for a week…
then returning the favour

seems a bit too much of a risk for me
but im
suprised it’s even really allowed these days

I bet Andrew Mountbatten Windsor could get a clear police background check.
We all know he did it, but has never been convinced.

Kids in private school, value education and experiences.

Stop and think

The worst bits about my French exchange was that our teachers set us loose in Paris for 2 nights (age 13) and mt friends kept going off with guys on vespas. And my host was a lovely, but very uncool girl with parents who were very responsible, so we didn't get to go to any of the parties.

But my child did stay with a family that I knew nothing about. As did I. We were fine.

Your very trusting.
But you were probably being encouraged by people who knew the man. And had lived with him.

Bea lives in a big posh house, ponies, housekeeper, 1 sis, private school, Dads had 20 years in the Navy, respectable family, Mums a SAHM

Would you want your kid staying for 2 weeks?

Agree, they aren’t just left with the family they are out and about as a group.

Yes thats my concern too, 12 is too young to stick up for yourself if a predator tries to abuse

Been in residential with sllthe other kids sleeping in a dorm great

But in another families home strangers no

What? It’s a great program and they are not ‘random’ families. Shame that people have become so suspicious that they won’t let their child participate is a fantastic program.

Define random?

1 in 20 children are sexually abused.
We also know the majority is with in families and in family homes.

I wouldn't be taking my chances with those odds

Our school does exchanges with 4 different countries. I feel for your kid but your kid, your rules.

It is no wonder young people are now called the anxious generation. I feel for them. We can’t battle the Internet and social media, but we can do better assessments as parents and allow them to live their lives with some degree of adventure and risk away from us on
occasion. It’s vital for development.

I'd be wary with my sweet quiet 12 year old, however my 15 year old is more street smart and much more bolshy, and I'd allow it. You know your child.

I don't agree risks are low, most women I know have been assaulted at some point in there life
I think it way more common than peopel think

Plus if it was a case of all the kids staying in a dorm fine
But staying in a strangers home for a week is a risk too far
Not worth if it the worse was to happen the benefit doesn't not outweigh risk

But there's plenty of other ways to make sure kids get plenty of time doing another language and spending a good amount of time abroad
We are lucky that half our family aee from abroad, not France so our kids can spend time abroad being immerse into language and we can even go for 4 weeks in the summer
They also understand alot about this half the the families culture and traditions too

No one is suggesting not allowing ANY experiences.

The families are not random plenty is known about them. This sort of comment is so naive. As if you would know which family is hiding alcoholism or drug driving or worse. The whole point is you can't tell by looking.

My son did a French exchange last year, he had a wonderful time. And he did a German exchange before that. They have phones and their teachers are contactable 24/7. Don't deny them fabulous opportunities for personal and educational growth.

Thanks everso much Doganxiety.
I wish I could say time has healed the wounds but I still can't face ordering a Chinese takeaway but this may change one day

@WhatTheCatHeard
I totally hear you and I wouldn't do it either.
I do find it surprising that schools are still willing to take the risk.

I gave a scenario of Bea up thread, private school, respectable family, posh house, Dad respected officer with 20 years in the navy, Mum SAHM,
Now consider what else you know about about Dad, previously known as Prince Andrew, happy to get off with 17yos.

Is sad but true. People trusted people in the past but we now know not everyone is to be trusted.

Your child will end up living in their bedroom
Afraid to go.out to a job
Afraid to meet.new people

Your child needs new, slightly scary experiences.

And this is going to be one of the safest I can think of.
Much safer than going to school and meeting their local ketamine supplier

No they aren't going to be scared of meeting new people.

Theyll know to meet new people safely, first few times you meet, meet in a public place. Don't go back to their house or invite them to yours until you get to know them.

Really whats hard about that?

I could have contacted my teacher, although we didn't have mobiles. I could have used the landline. There's no way I would have. I didn't even tell them when we were all together in person. It wouldn't have prevented the dad coming in my room and taking his clothes off. It had already happened by then.

I did a Spanish exchange in the late 80s when I was 15. Got drunk most nights, had a fantastic time, felt very safe.

Found out decades later from my mum that she'd caught my dad trying to sexually assault my exchange partner (who my mum referred to as "a little hussy" - she was anything but.) Explains why she never replied to my letters 😔

I think realistically there is probably less risk now than in those days, partly because there are safeguarding guidelines, but mainly because children are taught that they can have boundaries. But because we are more aware that dangers exist, we have made ourselves far more anxious about the possibility.

There was a British teenager sleeping in a dorm in a youth hostel, with her mates, 30 years ago, who was murdered while she slept. I’d have thought this was a pretty safe scenario, as would most people.

On most exchange visits, you are out and about all day, in groups, with your mates and exchange partners. Obviously you can’t avoid all risk, but the risk to exchange students must be minimal. And you tell your child, if there is anything at all that they are unhappy with, to speak to the teacher. On one of my exchanges, my exchange partner was very strange, and she - and I - weren’t invited to any evening parties. I told the teacher, and she ensured that we weren’t left out.

But had you told the teacher, they would have immediately removed you from that situation and it wouldn’t have happened again.

It didn't happen again. It was my last full day there.

Honestly, I feel like sending young teen girls to live in a stranger's house for however long is, in some cases, sending lambs to the slaughter. But hey, at least they can tell their teacher. Because that always happens, doesn't it?

Where would you expect the teacher to magic a room up from?

Would you go and stay with strangers that you don't know?