To be suprised schools still do French exchanges ?what with the safeguard risks

[WhatTheCatHeard]

So my child is disappointed
that we don’t want them to go int he French exchange, which woudl
be basically our child living with another random family for a week…
then returning the favour

seems a bit too much of a risk for me
but im
suprised it’s even really allowed these days

I did a French exchange when I was 14. DM denies how lax the system was. I was put on a coach in the UK. Had to change in France and catch a second coach to my destination. Had a wild time, although the exchange itself was awful. My French vastly improved. Still today my French is better than most.

Don’t know if I’d send my DC. Depends on the situation.

Why is it riskier now than the last 50 years?

I think the risk is as high now as it was back in the day. I think these days were more aware of pdfs etc.

In the early - mid 90s most classmates of mine at my comprehensive went on the German exchange; I think we were in the 14/15 age group.
(I didn’t go as my parents couldn’t afford it).
So in Germany there was a party one night with no adults present and all the kids were drinking alcohol except for one girl (who was considered to be too ‘different’ by many other students as she was very studious and eccentric).
So she was only drinking coke, and sadly got it thrown all over her by other students which was nasty behaviour to cope with especially as she was away in a foreign country, staying with strangers.
One of the boys was staying out in the countryside and actually was expected to hitchhike into the local school daily - at 14.. I’m not sure he told his parents. Our teachers who were out there weren’t bothered. I know my parents would have been so angry if that was me.

There was also ‘the French trip’ which my younger sister went on with several classes at 12 - over to France on the ferry & a coach to Paris, stay overnight at some hostel then while the teachers spent the day drinking (seriously) the 12 & 13 year old kids were let loose to roam cluelessly around Paris all day, hopefully getting back in one piece and on time for the coach home!

I had a fantastic time on the three exchanges I did. I'm still friends with my exchange partner. We seen them and the family every year. I'm encouraging my own kids to do them, they can be incredibly positive experiences.

I did an A level French exchange at 16/17, with a load of friends from college. I already spoke fluent French as I’m half French but didn’t want to miss out on a week in Paris…our exchange partners were so boring that we managed to persuade the host families to let us out and they agreed but came with us - I have vivid memories of being in a nightclub singing Like a Prayer with a Drag queen. We had the best time. When our partners came over there we took them to the local pub, which they hated, and I took mine riding on one of my ponies and she fell off on the beach. Good times ha!

I shudder when I think back to mine, Rennes '76.

Loved anything Parisian at that age and counted down the days for months and had extensive french lessons.

My host was Lai Chong Takeaway (I remember it vividly), within 30 minutes of my arrival I was serving and taking orders. The next day we went to the cash and carry where I was allowed to order (in Chinese) the stock. The rest of the day was spent preparing food and then another 5 hours serving. The next day I sent a letter asking for help and put it inside someone's order who looked like they could keep a secret and not inform the muscle but they just phoned another order through. The next day I ran to an abbey and long story short someone paid my passage back to England.

It wasn't a thing at my school so my parents paid to send me abroad a summer 3 weeks with a language school to stay at a host family. I was 13. They had children my age.

I have husband and children now. I am a grown up - and still travel to stay with this family 1-2 times a year. They come to spend time with us.

So sometimes it's a wonderful experience to meet the unknown strangers.

For anyone sad that their kid’s school doesn’t do French exchanges anymore…

Look at Rempart. It’s kind a French heritage organisation - (like a sort of lefty national trust?!), that runs camps where you restore old buildings, build walls, do archaeology… some of them are for 16+, they are residential and obvs all in French.

i went twice, age 16 and 17, with a friend, and absolutely LOVED it. Also smashed my A level French oral about building a dry stone wall 😁. Years ago now, but it still looks fab!

https://www.rempart.com/en/

I took children from London to an exchange school in Paris. Before children had mobile phones, and even I only had a very basic brick phone which barely worked abroad.
We all had a wonderful time. Such a fantastic experience for them. I'm so pleased that their parents trusted me and trusted the processes that we had in place.

Hang on, what? Is this the plot of something, or genuinely the most bizarre exchange ever?

The French exchange was a massively positive experience for me and I'm so glad I did it. Age 12 from a council estate in Essex I was placed with a family who lived in a huge house/mansion on the edge of a river in the Loire Valley.
Two years later I went back, travelling to Bordeaux by coach from London on my own to stay with the same family at their summer house on the coast for a whole month. It changed me as a person and made me realise there was a whole other world out there. I'm sad my own kids never got to experience that.

It was great for building confidence as well. The first year was arranged through the school. After that we arranged it ourselves. At 15 I flew into one French city, got a bus from the airport to the train station, then a train to another city. All decades before mobile phones. Then you have posters on here whose kids won't do anything because of their parents fears.

I only wish it was Rum, looking back I can see I was just cheap labour (or in this case free).
You have to keep in mind this was many years ago but even so, this was not the experience I wanted it to be.
When my mother contacted asking why I was working they said this was experience and that after the forth day the french experience would then begin

I went on two school language exchanges, and honestly they were transformational. Just incredible experiences.

I’ve traveled a lot since and even lived briefly in the same country, but those four weeks are still special.

I was so pleased my Dc had the opportunity to do a French exchange, and I have to say, it was much more strictly organised than I experienced in the 90s. We didn’t see our teacher or any other Students on the exchange for a week, we were just off with our exchange partners, whereas my DC checked in with their teachers and every day, had an emergency phone number to call them, were able to message us, spent time with their friends every day on organised trips.
When we had French children to stay we were DBS checked first, not sure if the French counterparts had anything similar.

So much safer - but on the other hand less language and cultural immersion.

Yeah, tough one to decode as fantasy eh.

@RumNotRun’s experience is definitely not typical. And very different to how they are run now.

What I want to say is that op, you have made great leaps of imagination and come to the worst of conclusions.

There is a difference between ‘there are risks that need consideration’ and ‘risks exist so we prevent the experience’.

Competence and confidence are developed through facing challenge (discomfort, change) and finding ways through. As parents it’s important to allow our children opportunities to experience things outside of their comfort zone. And in this case to reflect on why you have made this decision. Is it for your child’s safety or to manage your discomfort with uncertainty?

Our state school still does them.

Well obviously, Adobe didn't develop PDF until 1993.

My kids both did an Erasmus trip at 16 with school. They stayed in hostels though instead of with families. They tried this a few years before and some of the French families had children sleeping in less than ideal conditions shall we say. The Erasmus programme was generous enough that there was enough money for flights, hostel accommodation and spending money for them and no children would be sleeping on dusty attic floors and being left alone all weekend without any idea where the host family had gone or when they would be back.

Where were your school mates? And teachers?

Oh cone on, the French exchange was fab. Why not teach your child something about life and let them go? Being prissy about "safeguarding" achieves nothing, except telling a kid to be scared of everything!

I was also offered fizzy water in Germany! I tipped it down the sink when they were gone. They thought I liked it and kept offering 😩

I live in an EU country and yes parents have checks over here for this kind of thing too, although I think possibly not always when it's done through a school.

DS didn't end up getting in to his exchange but we were told that ideally you need a spare room for the guest, but not to worry if we didn't have one as it was possible to apply anyway and the guest could stay with a different host family. When I did a French exchange my partner slept on the bottom bunk under my sister with all three of us in the one room!

I was taking about student exchange with my 14yo the other day, she asked if it was possible and I said it used to be, as a kid I always wanted to do it. It would be a fantastic opportunity.