AIBU to feel embarrassed after no replies in the class WhatsApp group?

[Exhausted553]

I messaged on class WhatsApp group if anyone wants to go for a coffee after drop off one day this week and no one has responded! I sent this afternoon and can see everyone has read but no one has replied.

Feel really embarrassed. I’m a total introvert anyway and it took lots of guts to reach out. Shall I delete the message, if I’m able to, or shall I just leave it there? It’s embarrassing no one responded to me. How am I supposed to get close with these women if no one responds? It’s a very small village primary with only 12/13 kids in class.

How do others get close with the parents in their kids classes? I know a couple from before as our kids were in nursery so I’ve had a few play dates individually but I was trying to get to know the group as a whole and not leave anyone out.

It's really common for people to completely ignore messages. I don't know why. I used to get annoyed by it but just realise it's the way things are now. I try to grab people in person.

I wouldn’t have replied to the message because I would feel it’s still a bit too public, but I would approach you directly for that coffee, if that makes sense. Don’t be embarrassed.

I know. I find it so rude.

OP, if everyone's new, they're not judging you as a person at all. They don't know you yet...

Do the Halloween party - it will be lovely.

You sound organised and thoughtful, which lots of people just aren't! But - they have other virtues 😊Don't write them off, it's very very early days.

Good for you in taking the step to send an invitation.
As no one had the common courtesy to respond I suspect you may have dodged a bullet. People who don’t even have these basic manners tend to think they are better than others and you’d have spent unwarranted energy needing to please them. Though there may be a couple who are nice but quiet to fit in, and not be excluded from the clique too.
Go have a laugh about it with your mate from the other class. You did something nice, it was their behaviour which is lacking.

I think that's really nice of you, but at our school everyone does drop off and then heads to work (either from home or to the office), much as I would love to be invited for a coffee there's no way I could fit one in. So maybe this is the case here? Although I do think people could have replied to tell you that

Well done on stepping outside your comfort zone OP! That is something to be proud of even if it hasn’t worked out immediately.

The first week back is always a bit manic and when I am really busy, sometimes I can be guilty of not replying to general invitations rather than those directed to me. It’s not personal, it’s just life.

But give it time. As things calm down, people will remember you reached out and think of you as a friendly person who is interested in connecting. That will likely turn into invitations and play dates when people are less busy. You have NOTHING to feel embarrassed about!

Different context but I am the same. Well done on posting.

I don’t have children Not sure about your school as wide catchment but I notice threads on here when an illness or other event means that the parents can’t drop their child off at school, no family in the area and general friends that work. Someone suggests asking another parent off classmates and they say they don’t know them at all. I know it’s hard with working but even just tiny things might be useful for things like this or if become proper friends help more for serious illness.

It's still nearly two months to Halloween Op. You have time for things to change.

Don't delete. You have shown your cards - which is that you are up for a coffee, nothing more nothing less.
Even if no one responds to you this week, or ever, someone will remember your offer. Over time someone will message you or come up to you in the playground to chat. After the summer everyone wants a some time to themselves or to tackle the huge 'to do' list - honestly last thing they want to do is talk about their children 5 minutes after they've finally got them back to school. Some will also be shy about a 1:1 and take time to warm up (that's a good thing as the ones who instantly reply are those who are more likely to want to suss you out for your social status or even worse free childcare).
It's a marathon not a sprint, so take your time and when friendship is offered 'choose wisely'!

If people are busy and already have plans they might not reply as the message probably asked if anyone was free rather than asking specific people if they are free, I wouldn’t take it personally. xxx

Style it out. If it’s a full class of 30 no one will do a full inventory of who was where so put something vague that could imply you either went with a few or just chatted at the school gate ‘lovely to see a couple of you this morning. Hope everyone has a lovely first week. I’m always up for a post drop cuppa if anyone else is. ’

It's a private school and small class.