AIBU to feel embarrassed after no replies in the class WhatsApp group?

[Exhausted553]

I messaged on class WhatsApp group if anyone wants to go for a coffee after drop off one day this week and no one has responded! I sent this afternoon and can see everyone has read but no one has replied.

Feel really embarrassed. I’m a total introvert anyway and it took lots of guts to reach out. Shall I delete the message, if I’m able to, or shall I just leave it there? It’s embarrassing no one responded to me. How am I supposed to get close with these women if no one responds? It’s a very small village primary with only 12/13 kids in class.

How do others get close with the parents in their kids classes? I know a couple from before as our kids were in nursery so I’ve had a few play dates individually but I was trying to get to know the group as a whole and not leave anyone out.

Don't delete it.
The first week back can be really hectic for some families. It's most likely not you

Don't delete it. You were really brave. Someone will reply.

I think it can be quite normal tbh. I would
leave the message there
You may still get some responses once the kids are in bed and people have had time to sit down with their phones!

Oh I'm sorry OP that's rubbish!
People might yet reply though, might have just been busy with clubs, dinner etc.
Don't delete it, it reflects badly on them not you, it's always good to put yourself out there even if it doesn't pay off to every time.

Don’t delete it honestly let it wash over you. Get chatting to people and naturally you’ll end up forming some friendships where you can go for coffee. It’s a bit forced asking a group of strangers to be honest.

Don't delete it. They've all read it anyway, it'll just make things more awkward. It could be people went to reply but feel awkward being the first or they can't go because they work so are just not replying to full up the chat with no's. I'd agree with PP and the first few weeks of school are really busy too. Just try not to dwell it's not personal I'm sure.

If you know some of the mums why don’t you arrange a morning with a couple of them then post that you and two others are going to X on X day does anyone want to join? Your message was vague about day, just give a day and if you’ve pre-arranged then you won’t be alone.

maybr they all working ??

Agree, don’t delete, it’s a busy week.
i might be tempted to put a funny comment or a tumbleweed gif - but i am a bit of a twat

Sometimes people are too embarrassed to reply on a group- I find that getting a few to agree to it outside the group and then putting it to the group to come and join when plan is made can be the best way to.

When it’s a big group like that, people will read when rushing & possibly mean to reply later; as it’s to many people there’s a sense of collective responsibility ie someone else will probably reply mentality.

Don’t take it personally, don’t delete it. I bet you’ll have a reply in a while.

Definitely don’t delete it OP. Well done for reaching out and making new friends. Human interaction in this day and age is so important and you have done a brave and nice thing. Don’t worry if they don’t reply yet. You’ll probably get one person reply soon and then a flood of agreement. I’d love being in a group like that if someone suggested it and definitely take you up on your offer. Can be hard to make friends as an adult. Well done to you for having the guts. Don’t be embarrassed. Trying to make human connections to have a more joyful life is nothing to be embarrassed about.

I think deleting it might make it worse.

I would have definitely replied to you. People are weird.

Don't delete it

But honestly I wouldn't reply as I hate WhatsApp shenanigans. But please remember school gates are .. like war.... Proceed with caution..

Nice to say hello to but meet ups can be a nightmare as kids fall out, change friendships, he said she said.... Your kid did this... Keep up with the jonses....

Good luck! Primary school gate is awful.

Thank you everyone. I just feel really bad about myself. Truthfully I don’t really want to go but I forced myself. Before anyone says “well they probably picked up on your tone” definitely not! I was really upbeat and positive and said I’m looking really forward to meeting everyone and I asked if anyone is free for a coffee after drop off. I’m actually dreading keeping checking my phone but if someone replied I could relax. I’ve been checking every hour since I posted 11am today!

They probably have jobs! Who's got time to be going for a morning coffee?!

That's so lovely of you!

I would assume it was aimed at non working mums (or people with nicer shifts than mine) so wouldn't be able to take you up on the offer so maybe others have the same problem

Yeah don’t delete! We had lots of meet ups like that when our kids started school. I’m sure someone will reply. Also the suggestion above about arranging a friend and then saying you’re going to x place and does anyone want to come is also useful if no one does x

Oh well.m done OP, that's a brave thing to do & horrible when it falls a bit flat.

But I think you may get a response or two in real-life tomorrow and you've opened the gates to show you're up for social meet ups which might grease the wheels.

All will be well.

Yeah don't delete it. It's a super busy/stressful time of year and they likely are thinking they will get back to you later.

It only takes one to say yes and you can have a coffee and hopefully start a friendship.
There's another thread about friendships on here at the moment.
School mums are a great place to start so don't give up.
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I would have replied and said that, that it would have been great but I have to work.

I couldn’t leave someone on read in a group chat.

I once asked in the group chat if anyone fancied soft play that afternoon at local centre. Only to realise that my DS and whole class had been invited to a party at same soft play centre that afternoon that I had completely overlooked 😳

Tbh if I saw that I wouldn’t want to respond because I’d find it high pressure to meet up with someone from the what’s app group 1:1. If others responded I’d feel better about responding. But that would be due to my social issues it wouldn’t be about you.

They are all really rude OP, it’s not you.

I hated it when this happened to me, it was mortifying, and tbh I don’t suggest things on that particular group chat anymore!

Sometimes peole don't want to be the first to respond...
Maybe contact the mums you already know from nursery and make firm plans with at least one of them, then post an update saying "X & I are going to be at this cafe after drop-off on this day, feel free to join us".