AIBU to feel uncomfortable about my partner's comment on teenage niece?

[Gingercatonshed]

If your partner said to you “it was weird how grown up dear niece looks she had her boobs out at the family meal, I still just think of her as being so young” would you find this weird ?

for context partner early 30s and niece is 16. It made me feel uncomfortable not sure if it was genuine “oh she’s turning into a woman” comment from my partner or it its abit Pervy / strange to notice …

I’m surprised at the posters, potentially women, excusing this. No wonder so many men get away with this shit.

i would find it creepy also, it indicates to me he was looking at her breasts and in an adult manner, and no one, but no one, wants an uncle who does that,

I said this of my own niece at one point. Completely inappropriately dressed at an event and it was really awkward.

Exactly this, I’ve said this of my own niece too.

I’m a woman and actually said similar about my own niece recently after seeing her at a family
meal dressed and looking like a woman. I suppose in my head she is still 6 and wearing princess dresses so seeing her dressed like she’s about to go out clubbing did just feel a bit odd- no hate whatsoever to her outfit, she looked great, but I always think it feels a bit strange seeing someone you knew as a child suddenly look like a grown up feels a bit crazy!

Inappropriate yes

this

I know what you mean, but for me the word ‘boobs’ is a bit lighter / sometimes can be comical / less sexual.

’Tits’ on the other hand, I find more of a sexual word. Once my boyfriend described someone as having ‘big tits’ and I found that offensive and pulled him up on it.

this. There are shedloads of way of commenting on a female entering adulthood and its coming as a shock without using the phrase "boobs out"

Direct their eyes elsewhere obviously.

The budding of breasts in younger female relatives often takes males by surprise. It was a crass remark to make out aloud, but I don't think it was particularly pervy.
Whether the nieces top was appropriate for a family meal or not is by the by, but it seems she was happy to show off her surprises

People are allowed to have judgements.

The budding of young breasts in females often takes THOSE FEMALES by surprise. One day clothes fit one way, and are perfectly fine, and the next day they fit another, and are not, or so it can seem. Her caregivers (and her) walk a tight rope between guiding to her as to what's appropriate, and encouraging her to be comfortable and enjoy growing into her adult body and finding her own style.

It's not like a young girl that got hit in the back with the boob stick twice can just tuck them out of sight, unlike a young boy with an inconvenient erection.

Would a relative feel it was fine to comment on a young boy having one of those moments, or would that be a bit creepy? Maybe tut a bit about how Mum should have bought him tighter boxers, and looser trousers?

Who is the adult? Who has more life experience and should have more self restraint, leading to the ability and the expectation that they will not cop an eyeful, or make an inappropriate remark - perhaps seeking to place the onus for any inappropriateness on the young girl?

It's a standard rule that an adult man never comments on how any teen looks, including family, or makes any reference to boobs or if she looks attractive. It shows very poor judgement on his part even if he is completely none creepy.
What they think is another issue, but nothing in this area should be verbalised. It leads to comments like those that are in this thread and can always, without exception, be taken in the wrong way.
If a man must comment on the changes in a young women or teen girl then he should use neutral phases like 'grown up' since he last saw them.
I think not commenting on a teens boob's is fairly basic knowledge for an adult man.

TBH I have made a similar remark about my own DN who suddenly took to dressing like she was auditioning for Love Island. It was a bit of a shock when I had last seen her in baggy tracksuits etc.

As a one off remark I wouldn’t read too much into it.

No man should be uttering the words "had her boobs out" about a 16 year old girl. Its an adult sexualising (also crass and sexist) comment about someone you'd expect him to view as a child. I'm not keen on men who take it upon thenselves to comment on women's bodies at all, particularly in a judgmental way, but a girl so young is another level.

Agree.

I don't think it's a weird comment, obvs to be kept private (as it was, since he said it to you only) - i would imagine it's quite normal to notice and to feel a bit strange about a child suddenly posessing grown up boobs. Does not mean he was pervy, I would have felt the same.

But he could have said how grown up she looked without mentioning her boobs. Has any woman ever said oh dear nephew looks so grown up now he has a huge trouser bulge.

why is a grown man talking about a child's boobs (one that is not directly related to him)

of course its weird. We know many men will they notice them we do not need to accept that its ok for them to pass comment on woman and especially girls boobs (unless its intimate (obviously with a woman) or their child or medical)

I think he should learn to keep his opinions about women’s bodies to himself, especially women he is related to.

‘Had her boobs out’ ? 🤢 Judgemental and pervy.

DNeice should have dressed appropriately for a family meal and not had breasts out.

Even commenting that she looks "grown up" should be said carefully and privately as it still carries a strong risk of sounding like a pervy Daily Mail photo caption. 🤢

I am female. I wouldn't like that comment. I don't like seeing breasts or anyone scantily clad when I'm out.

yup the Sam Fox countdown came to my mind, although that was the Sun