AIBU to feel uncomfortable about my partner's comment on teenage niece?

[Gingercatonshed]

If your partner said to you “it was weird how grown up dear niece looks she had her boobs out at the family meal, I still just think of her as being so young” would you find this weird ?

for context partner early 30s and niece is 16. It made me feel uncomfortable not sure if it was genuine “oh she’s turning into a woman” comment from my partner or it its abit Pervy / strange to notice …

Seems like a reasonable non-creepy remark to me.

Bit of a weird thing to comment on to be honest. Presume she had a bit of cleavage rather than boob's flopped out at the dinner table though?

Ew.

Well I wasn’t there so I tried to understand if it was an obscene low cut top or just a normal vest etc if it was the former I may understand the comment abit more

Maybe it made him feel uncomfortable and that’s why he remarked. Some things are very noticeable and they could have literally been staring him in the face. That said, keep an eye out for any more comments and call him out if he expresses an opinion on said boobs that were out

I would actually find it a green flag, the opposite of creepy.

@ACatNamedRobin how so ? X

I can't actually work out what he said. He said 'she's so grown now, as she has her boobs out?'

I don’t think it’s strange that he noticed it - all men notice boobs, especially in a low cut top - and really without knowing his tone and the look on his face it’s hard for us to judge whether it was inappropriate.

I would find this an odd remark from a very new partner, but ok from an “established” partner unless it was said in a lascivious or “nudge nudge wink wink” way.

I’ve said similar about my own family member when she suddenly turned into a boobs out girl! It was a bit of an overnight shock

Sounds reasonable to me.

Yeah he did say it in a genuine “I still think of her a young child” sort of way rather than pervy. Maybe I am being sensitive but I’m trying to imagine how one of my uncles saying that about me would make me feel

Sounds more judgemental than weird to me.

I find it creepy.

I think this is a type of comment that is really hard to judge on the internet tbh. I can see why people are saying it's innocent. I can also remember my mum's bf who seemed to notice and comment a lot about my neighbourhood friends 'turning into young women' and it was the way he commented, and repeating the remarks about particular girls, that came across really creepy and it was obvious he was staring at their tits. One neighbour ended up lamping him.

If it's a one off I'd probably let it pass - like others have said it might just be a bit of an initial shock - but if he keeps going on about it I'd be more worried.

What are men allowed to say these days? 15 and 16 years olds having big boobs and dressing them out ...goodness

I still remember dressing it all out as a 15 years old and going to the local village cafe and waiting for gazes😅

Keep deleting sensible comments. What are men supposed to do if girls are not taught propriety

Its a questionable remark but i feel its just poorly articulated

I wouldn't find his comment weird. My partner and I both find it weird how our 9 year old is growing boobs when she was only a baby so recently.

I’d imagine your niece would have felt pretty disgusted and upset if she’d heard him comment.

I disagree with the previous posters; that would make me feel quite uncomfortable. If there was really a need to comment, he could have said how grown up she looks seemingly overnight, and that it came as a shock to him because he still thinks of her as a young child. But I don’t think that there is ever any need for any adult male to comment on the breasts of a 16 yr old child, irrespective of the style of her clothing. To say she had her ‘boobs out’ makes me feel very uncomfortable.

If your DH said "time flies, Freya is so grown up now" it would be ok.
V
Commenting on her boobs - not ok.

Women aren't responsible for mens behaviour, children are especially not responsible for the behaviour of adult men.

Obscene? Really?

I think it's strange so many pp on the thread think it's normal for a man to comment on his teenage niece's breasts, and think it's normal for him to be ogling them!

I wouldn't be happy OP that he is viewing his niece in a sexual way and I wouldn't be happy about him talking about her in that way