To feel fed up about us struggling on DH low salary

[HumphreysGang]

Does anyone else have a DH who earns as little as £56,500 salary?
My DH does and it is so difficult to survive financially on his low salary in the SE.
I am surrounded by friends whose husbands all earn well in excess of £100,000+ a year. The difference in lifestyle, including affordability of house size, extensions, cars, holidays, etc. is huge. They are all living the dream and we are struggling to death.
Just wondering if anyone else has a husband on this level of low salary?
And yes I work. 30 hours a week. My money pays for extras. His is the main income to cover the major costs (except it doesn't and we are permanently in the red).
He'll never earn more as he's at top of his salary point.
Nor will I due to our SEN DC and their needs which have severely thwarted my previous plans for career progression.

I wouldn’t describe that as a little amount…..

My OH earns about half of this!

It depends on your incomings and outgoings. To most people that salary is an absolute fortune.... maybe you need to stop comparing yourself with your friends?
Is your life happy?:
Because surely that's all that matters.....

I am the main bread winner and my salary is k53 my husband works full time for k32. I struggle emotionally being main bread winner but also the main emotional support but we have had a tough time recently. I guess I have just adjusted my aspirations. What is it about your life you want to change other than the money ? Money is normally just the easiest thing to point to.

That’s not a low salary!

What are you prepared to do to earn more money given your limitations?

I’m amazed anyone is taking this post seriously.

On the off chance it’s not a wind up, that’s a perfectly acceptable salary, and happiness doesn’t come from having a better car or an extension.

That isn't a low salary. Don't believe everything you see and hear. If yours is only needed for extras then you are probably doing okay anyway and, in the end, it doesn't mean someone is happier.

That’s a good wage. That plus your 30
hours together you’re bringing in a very decent amount.

People earning over 100k is like 1% of the population or less!

Maybe you weren’t top tier enough yourself to bag a higher value man?

Loads of people including myself have a DH who earns less than that. You need to budget better I suspect. Stop comparing your life to others. You don’t know who is in debt or gets help from family.

If you think your husband is on such a low salary and that your career progression was thwarted by your children, then why doesn’t he go PT and you go FT and focus on increasing your income to £100k+ like your friends?

You’ll get people saying it’s a lot but it doesn’t go far. I earn similar and live on the outskirts of London so I feel you.

No I can’t move as my family and support network are here, I grew up here.

I don’t think you can really moan about his salary while yours only pays for extra.

My DH only earns similar now, with a small additional income we earn from another stream and we live a very nice lifestyle. Granted I worked FT before quitting to be a SAHM, we both went full force on saving and we paid £200k off the mortgage before I quit so our costs are lower.

I don’t think high 50s plus another income of almost full time is overly low, particularly after nursery cost years.

You clearly mix with high earners. You mention DC with SEN, how many and what ages? If their SEN has prevented you working full time do you not get DLA/PIP for each child?

There are many factors which make up whether £56k goes far or not. That salary in the SE will not go as far as for those living in a lower cost area.

You say you work 30 hours but that’s close to full-time hours so what’s your actual salary? Your combined income should be what is for all household expenses and extras.

Is there no way that you can contribute more financially? Your emphasis is on husbands' earnings. Why do you differentiate between men and women like this? It's not a man's job to earn more than a woman.

The average UK wage is about 35k

Nice goady thread. Bit bored this morning?

It's not low - you just have rich friends. My DH earns far less.

What is it you can't afford but envy?

Ask him to take on more of the childcare so that you can increase your own earnings to a level that is acceptable to you.

That's a decent salary where I live - well above average.

We also have a child with special needs, we both work but we have jobs that fit around ds. Our household income is almost 10k less than your husband's salary alone and we manage.

Would I like to have more? Yes of course. But we have a good work/life balance, save for things and accept some things are out of reach.

Stop comparing.

I am surrounded by friends whose husbands all earn well in excess of £100,000+ a year. The difference in lifestyle, including affordability of house size, extensions, cars, holidays, etc. is huge

There's your issue and it's easily remedied. If you must compare yourself to other people, get some friends on NMW and compare yourself to them instead 🤷‍♀️

It’s not just about the average salary. Very much depends on where you live.

What was 50k salary 5 years ago really doesn’t go as far now in London / SE anyway. We were doing ok but then “lost” about £600 spare income per month overnight due to the mortgage interest rate increase.

Comparison is the thief of joy, OP.

If you aren't careful you will end up bitter. Happiness isn't about the size of your house or how many holidays you go on - it's a mental attitude. No doubt you have much to be grateful for; find it.