To feel fed up about us struggling on DH low salary

[HumphreysGang]

Does anyone else have a DH who earns as little as £56,500 salary?
My DH does and it is so difficult to survive financially on his low salary in the SE.
I am surrounded by friends whose husbands all earn well in excess of £100,000+ a year. The difference in lifestyle, including affordability of house size, extensions, cars, holidays, etc. is huge. They are all living the dream and we are struggling to death.
Just wondering if anyone else has a husband on this level of low salary?
And yes I work. 30 hours a week. My money pays for extras. His is the main income to cover the major costs (except it doesn't and we are permanently in the red).
He'll never earn more as he's at top of his salary point.
Nor will I due to our SEN DC and their needs which have severely thwarted my previous plans for career progression.

As I said, I'm on this salary. How is DH self esteem? I hope he isn't feeling like he's failing at this level. Must be hard if you only have very wealthy friends.

Thing is, there will always be people worse off than ourselves. Doesn't mean we are not allowed to ever feel despondent.

I’m getting to the point where I am wondering who on earth earns over £100k? If you look on all the job platforms nationally, very few are in this bracket. And if they are, they are the sort of jobs where you can kiss goodbye to any semblance of work life balance. Ie the other parent is going to have to have a crap job to be around for the kids because the other higher earning parent will mostly be absent/stress out of their minds.

We can’t all have the natural born skillset to enter into investment banking or similar.

I suspect most of your friends have family money and bank of mum and dad helping out. Or you just happen to have a lot of friends who own their own businesses maybe that do very well?

What are the jobs of these well earning husbands?

It’s a national crisis if £56k + the other parent works 30 hours per week and you still can’t afford a good standard of living.

Get poorer friends
Seriously
If all your friends are wealthier than you, you will be unhappy. Resentful, envious etc
Regardless of income, people roughly on a par with their friendship group are happier than those at the bottom

Gold standard freeloading cheekyfuckery here love.

It may not be her greatest moment, but come on. You know there's zillions of people whose propensity for "freeloading cheekyfuckery" is waaaaay closer to gold standard than a working wife with SEN kids who wishes her husband earned more.

None of those are out of work benefits. In any case, these are your child’s benefits not yours so it would be irrelevant. If you aren’t claiming child benefit, that’s bizarre. If your child’s SEN impacts so much on your ability to work they will absolutely be entitled to some level of disability benefit. I’m surprised you don’t know that.

If you can’t survive on an income that must be nearly 5k a month, you need to either cut your cloth accordingly or both get better jobs.

You don't earn enough to not get child benefit, so check now if you're not getting it as you are entitled to it.

The DLA is not means tested. We receive it because our child has high needs but even children with lower needs are able to get it. You just have to fill a (very lengthy) form and provide evidence that your child's needs mean you should be entitled to it.

It's not because you're working that no benefits are available to you. A child with SEN is a perfectly acceptable reason to receive help.