To feel fed up about us struggling on DH low salary

[HumphreysGang]

Does anyone else have a DH who earns as little as £56,500 salary?
My DH does and it is so difficult to survive financially on his low salary in the SE.
I am surrounded by friends whose husbands all earn well in excess of £100,000+ a year. The difference in lifestyle, including affordability of house size, extensions, cars, holidays, etc. is huge. They are all living the dream and we are struggling to death.
Just wondering if anyone else has a husband on this level of low salary?
And yes I work. 30 hours a week. My money pays for extras. His is the main income to cover the major costs (except it doesn't and we are permanently in the red).
He'll never earn more as he's at top of his salary point.
Nor will I due to our SEN DC and their needs which have severely thwarted my previous plans for career progression.

The answer is to move. What does DH do? Is it a portable job? That’s a wage for a teacher or many lower level professionals and many live on those wages. It’s very much more sensible to move to a cheaper area.

Are you fantasising about a life with a richer man, seeking practical suggestions to improve your household finances, or asking for help in reconciling envy towards your friends?

Is this post made to make all those on NMW feel worse about themselves?

Its not a massive salary where you live or with the friends you have to be fair, but you could move a bit further out for more house for your money or you could try to earn more yourself

OP you earn at least £20k on top if you're mw? So that's double the average income £75k plus Many have less.
Where you live will impact your lifestyle.
Your DH you mentioned is top of his payscale so I assume fire service, paramedic etc? If so the pensions are generous. You'll have to wait for that.
My DH has never been a high earner. That was my job. You can role reverse and go back to ft if you can make it work financially. I had a manny and we have a SEN DC.
Comparing yourself with others will make you unhappy. I have two millionaire friends. Tight as ducks bums!
The jobs market is the toughest since 2008. Hang on to what you have is my advice.

How much do you earn @HumphreysGangand what is your earning potential? If it’s higher than your DH’s then I suggest a role reversal and you go out and earn more. If you don’t have a career and your earning potential is less - I suggest you work on adjusting your expectations.

Comparison is the theft of joy. Stop comparing yourself to people who have more £100,000 salaries are not normal. The average salary is only around £32,000 and your DH is earning way more then this.

Maybe get some new friends.

Same, babe. Wish I’d married a rich guy!

My money pays for extras. His is the main income to cover the major costs (except it doesn't and we are permanently in the red).

How does this work?
Surely you cant pay for extras until main costs are covered?

And what do you mean by extras?

If you post your family take home and outgoing here, someone will be able to help

I earn that as a female. You should try and earn more, instead of being down on your DH. If you earn the same amount you will have your desired household income (and maybe you will appreciate more what it takes to earn this salary).

Yeah my DH earns half that and we get on alright. Yes we can't afford a luxurious lifestyle like your mates but we are comfortable and that's good for us.

Plenty of people earn less than that. Adjust your expectations.

If you use the lense of one single salary.....

If he is making 56k and you are making 10k (?) Which you currently pay no tax on.... to bring in the same net income his adjusted salary would be equivalent to about £73k gross as a single earner.

Your child has SEN so some rough assumptions here....thanks chatgpt

The benefits would be approximately:

Child Benefit: £1,407/year
Child DLA middle care: £3,988/year
Maximum PIP: £10,119/year

Total benefits: ~£15,514/year

Adding that to the 73k ... the same single earner has an equivalen adjusted salary £98,862
Meaning your household likely has equivalent net income to a HH where the wife is SAMH and the husband is touching 100k pa gross

Might be worth reviewing your household budget to ensure you are prioritising spending in areas that matter to you.

“The love of money is the root for all kinds of evil.”

My husband earns around that, I earn more. I also have a DC with SEN. Take control of your own financial position

Oh come on! £56 000 is not low.
My DH earns £43 000. I work as well but earn half that. It is difficult at times but the children really don't want for nothing. It depends on the lifestyle you are hoping for.
You might want to get a better paid job for yourself if you feel you need more money.

Comparison is the thief of joy.

And you are financially very fortunate compared to many in the UK.

Read the room OP

If you are dissatisfied with your current household income, you need to maximise your own earning potential to change things. Can you work more hours? - if you can’t work full time during the day can you pick up evening shifts in a second job? Can you look for a different job that pays more?

You definitely can’t whinge about your husband’s income if you are not matching or exceeding it!

I hope this post is a joke, and if not, if either of my dds wrote such a post I would be thoroughly ashamed.

why is this on your husband, not you? That is outrageously sexist.

if you want more money, and your husbands at the top end of his skills, then the obvious answer is to swap roles. You can be the breadwinner, he can work part time.

a man should never be your plan for money.

Of course YANBU.

He sounds completely worthless. Everyone knows the measure of a persons character and they’re value is in their salary alone 🙄

Goady post.

We're not entitled to benefits as we both work.

No this isn't a wind up.