To feel fed up about us struggling on DH low salary

[HumphreysGang]

Does anyone else have a DH who earns as little as £56,500 salary?
My DH does and it is so difficult to survive financially on his low salary in the SE.
I am surrounded by friends whose husbands all earn well in excess of £100,000+ a year. The difference in lifestyle, including affordability of house size, extensions, cars, holidays, etc. is huge. They are all living the dream and we are struggling to death.
Just wondering if anyone else has a husband on this level of low salary?
And yes I work. 30 hours a week. My money pays for extras. His is the main income to cover the major costs (except it doesn't and we are permanently in the red).
He'll never earn more as he's at top of his salary point.
Nor will I due to our SEN DC and their needs which have severely thwarted my previous plans for career progression.

I don't think its a high salary and I imagine you do struggle, especially in the southeast. so I get your frustration that you don't earn enough but that is a we problem and not a he problem.

Well you get a better job and earn the money, let him deal with everything you do

My DH earns a bit more, in the 60k bracket, but I out-earn him by some way, six figures, in quite a niche role while not working very long hours. The quid pro quo is he has always been there for DDs and doesn't work stupid hours either. He could get promotion for a little more money in the civil service but with a lot more responsibility and stress and I might never see him.

Why don't you go and earn more money, OP, does it have to be your DH? If he isn't pulling his weight at home then that's another matter but it doesn't have to be the man being the high earner.

My mum out-earned my dad for some time and they were both born in the late 1930s.

If you would like more money why don't you earn more or work more hours? This isn't the 50s...

You know 50,000 is significantly more than average right.

This has to be a bot.

There is Government School Uniform guidance which sets out how many logo's pieces of uniform they are allowed. It's 3. If one is a tie then it's 4. Everything else can be generic. If your school is not following this guidance they should be reported.

Jesus Christ

Have you looked at working more than 30 hours a week?

Why don't you pull your finger out and earn the big bucks instead of complaining your arse off? Your husband earns the same as mine and we live in the SE and we don't give a flying fish how much our friends earn.

I would imagine it is nigh on impossible not to transfer this disappointment onto your husband. It will sour your relationship. You should be a team. It's not his sole responsibility to earn enough for all the basics. You will have to cut back/ you need to increase your earning power. Even when we work, we can't always have what we want. Comparison is the thief of joy

What is your total take home monthly income?
What are your family's total monthly expenses?
Why is money being spent on 'extras' if costs aren't being covered?
Ptesumably between you you have an income of £70-80K? That should be enough for a comfortable, albeit modest, life for a family.

Working 30 hours per week on minimum wage would bring in £19,827.60, obviously more if not on MW. You would be getting CB as well, you don't say how many DC you have but you said plural, so more than one which will be at £44.90 p.w for 2 children, and more if you have more. You possibly get PIP for your child with SEND. Someone earning £100k p.a. will pay more tax and won't be entitled to CB. Your income, even for living in the SE isn't particularly low so perhaps its about looking at your outgoings. Also from September schools are limited in the number of logo items that parents are expected to purchase, which sould also help.https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c20j3zrgzv2o

Such a weird perspective. You DH out earns you but your mad at his earning potential not your own.

That income puts you in the top 15% of UK earners you absolute melon. Did you really post this without looking at ONS first?

Could have fooled me. I think you need to be more grateful.
my DH earns 28,000 and I’m currently not working at the moment though looking for work. Previously was the breadwinner on slightly over £40,000. We are in the SE (and an expensive part) and have a mortgage too.
We have survived.

"Does anyone else have a DH who earns as little as £56,500 salary?"

Yes the majority of the country. The median wage is £31,704

How do you think single parents with a SEN child manage?

I wish that my life's dream was an extension

Children under 16 get DLA not PIP.

Start hanging out with poorer people, then you won't be so envious.....

You’re getting a rough deal here OP. I don’t blame you for feeling frustrated and I imagine it’s very hard getting by on that kind of salary, which is far from excessive despite what some MNers claim. Life is expensive! I hope things pick up for you.

Christ, I earn less than 15k a year. Single parent with no contribution from DC’s dad so can’t ever imagine struggling on 2 wages when one is that amount 🙃

OP has not given all the facts. She works 30 hrs a week so even on the minimum wage that's around £20Kpa.

And they ought to get child benefit on top of her income.

Their overall income is more likely £80K+

They can only enforce 3 items of logo uniform plus a tie. That's the law from September

Do you think your dh might be ‘fed up about us struggling on DW low salary and part time work’ when he sees his friends in their bigger houses?

It's well above average salary. If you are renting, you might get some help with that via universal credit .

You don't say what region you live it, but if he is in a public sector role and you are living in or around London , then I can see why you are struggling as London weighting isn't significantly more. Whereas if you are living in a much cheaper part of the country you should be able to manage better as housing is better value for money.

I guess you need to decide what in life constitutes a happy and fulfilling life, and devise a plan to achieve that whether by changing careers, going for promotions, or moving elsewhere where housing costs care cheaper.