Was I wrong to refuse DP a lift meaning he had a £90 taxi?

[Bethsvint]

DP got the train to a nearby city with friends yesterday (a day drinking basically).

He was expecting to get the last train back at 10.30pm. Shortly after this, he called me to say he’d been told to leave the platform by the police. Reason being that he thought it would be a good idea to try to wind up his friends getting a train on the opposite platform by dropping his shorts/boxers and bending over in their direction. This was spotted by police who told him to leave the station or he’d be arrested.

I told him no. It was late, a 45 minute drive each way including the motorway. He got a taxi but is off with me as it cost £90 and he said he’d have picked me up in the same circumstances.

We help each other with lifts usually, have a good relationship and no issues etc.

Was I wrong to have refused?

Had he missed the train inwould have gone to get him.

Being told to leave or be arrested for public indecency...absolutely hisnown stupid fault and I would have let him walk home never mind getting a taxi.

My husband would do if for me, so yes id do it for him.

I'd have picked him up. He was a twat but if generally everything is fine then just do it. Now don't be surprised if you find yourself needing a lift late in the evening he says no.

baseline, play stupid games win stupid prizes

Damn, pressed the wrong thing. You’re not being unreasonable- what he did was entirely within his control and he was an immature idiot who got caught. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes!

Yanbu.
He's an arse.
Maybe now he will give think about how he behaves after drink, rather than acting the idiot.
I wouldn't tolerate him being too off with you.
This was not an emergency, this was him being a fool.

Me too. I highly doubt you'd bare your bum across the tracks at a train station, no matter how rat arsed you were.

OP any dcs? My response would be different if you had to get dcs out of bed to go get him.

Im assuming this was a one off, he’s not in the habit of going drinking all day and then acting like a twat and needing rescuing, because obviously if this was a common occurrence you’d have the good sense to dump him. So assuming a one off, I’d go get him. I would, however mock him about it.

If you have no dcs and he’s more upset about the money and not about being such a dick, the perhaps this shouldn’t be the relationship for you.

play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
Stupid idiot, the consequence of his actions was that he lost £90. Maybe next time he’ll think twice.
I’m not going to deny I’ve done silly things when drunk though, I definitely have! I missed the last direct train last night and got an uber home, cost me £70 - under no circumstances would I be calling dh to come and get me (this was about midnight), as an independent adult I’d find it very childlike! Plus he’d also be asleep anyway and may even have had a couple of drinks himself so it may not have been an option even if I did call.

I would have been angry he even rang. I expect an adult to make their own way home unless it’s an emergency.

What an arse!

There's not a chance I would have collected anyone who was unable to get the last train because he indecently exposed himself on a busy station platform. Fuck that.

I might even rethink the relationship too as I would not want to be associated with someone who could behave like that.

He thought it was just having a lark, but if you play stupid games you could win stupid prizes. Which he did - he was close to being arrested (should have been in my opinion), couldn't get his train and had to pay a £90 taxi fare home out of his own money. Serves him absolutely right. Stupid fucker.

He was lucky not to be arrested.

No way would I have driven for an hour and a half at that time of night, when there was a taxi rank just steps from where he was calling. I wouldn't have put it past him to have thrown up in the car, to add to the joy.

If he kicked off on the phone I'd just have told him that I'd had a couple of glasses of wine, so couldn't drive.

I expected to see many x LTB here but only a couple of “icks”. There was a recent thread where some twat was apparently “mooning” at kids and the consensus was no big deal. It’s indecent exposure, the guy is fucked in the head, and as a minimum some sort of record should be kept by the police.

I think by asking you to drive at night on a motorway, he is putting you into a vulnerable position. I agree, he's an adult with the mean's to sort his own way home without putting your safety at risk.

If he was drunk enough to be 'vulnerable' the police wouldn't have sent him on his way.

You are not being unreasonable.

She said she’d ARGUE that he was vulnerable, as in he wasn’t.

Go back and change your vote. All you have to do is press the other option.

How did he drop his pants and moon at his friends other than on purpose?

Edited for autocorrected apostrophe!

I'd think if he hadn't been so pissed, he'd have spent £15 to £20 to the next station along to pick up the train from there.

If he refuses a woman a lift late at night as a tit for tat, then he is being unreasonable. Women don't tend to indecently expose themselves, and get kicked off train's in my experience.

He’s lucky he’s only £90 down and didn’t get arrested. Maybe he’s projecting his anger at himself and his stupid behaviour onto you.

You do understand that he didn't miss the train, don't you?

He was sent off the platform for indecently exposing himself, so wouldn't have been allowed to board.

I doubt that the arrangement between you and your husband is that each time one of you drops your knickers/pants to flash your arse around on a station platform the other will then go out and pick them up.

YANBU in those circumstances, he is an idiot and it serves him right

So so grim and intimidating for other people on the platform

No way would I have picked him up. What a twat. He needs to learn that there are consequences to behaving like an idiot.

Well exactly - and imagine being a woman having to get on the train with a drunk guy who'd been exposing himself in public. God knows what he could do in a train carriage - you might know he's safe but no one else would. Ugh, men! Absolutely do not tolerate any shit from him on this. This is entirely his fault and if he refuses to learn from it, he's an idiot and not someone to hitch your star to.

I’d tell him I’d just had a large gin and tonic