Was I wrong to refuse DP a lift meaning he had a £90 taxi?

[Bethsvint]

DP got the train to a nearby city with friends yesterday (a day drinking basically).

He was expecting to get the last train back at 10.30pm. Shortly after this, he called me to say he’d been told to leave the platform by the police. Reason being that he thought it would be a good idea to try to wind up his friends getting a train on the opposite platform by dropping his shorts/boxers and bending over in their direction. This was spotted by police who told him to leave the station or he’d be arrested.

I told him no. It was late, a 45 minute drive each way including the motorway. He got a taxi but is off with me as it cost £90 and he said he’d have picked me up in the same circumstances.

We help each other with lifts usually, have a good relationship and no issues etc.

Was I wrong to have refused?

If a husband did that to their wife, they would be called all the abusive bastards on here. What gives anyone the right to behave like that to another grown adult.

Drunk does not equal vulnerable. He'd have sobered up soon enough.

Stupid is as stupid does. You aren't or weren't being unreasonable

Edited: didn't mean to add the gif and can't work out how to delete it. So sorry 😔

he said he’d have picked me up in the same circumstances.

Those circumstances would never have happened though, so his point doesn't stand. Unless you're in the habit of being a drunken fool in public and getting in trouble with the police.

I also disagree with it being framed as a 'stupid mistake'. Men pulling their pants down in public isn't a mistake. He needs to cop on to himself and take the lesson from this, not blame you and be in a huff about it.

He’s an idiot. If my DH had done this, I wouldn’t have picked him up either.

I'd have told him no ... If you feared his reaction to a reasonable 'no' under the circumstances (his fault, late at night, other option he could afford), maybe softened it by saying you'd had a couple glasses of wine yourself so wasn't able to do it.
But hopefully, lesson learned for him and it should definitely be out of his 'fun money', not yours.

Ah your DP has discovered Stupidity Tax. The cost incurred when you engage on an ill thought out course of action that requires monetary recompense to fix.

Safety? I agree that OP isn't BU to refuse him a lift. But that's cos he was a twat, nothing to do with safety. What would the safety concern would be?

I wouldn't have gone.

And more to the point, if that were me, I wouldn't have asked. (Not that this exact situation would happen to me or any women, but let's say I missed the last train due to being drunk). I would have been happy to pay that amount to avoid my partner having to take a near 2 hour journey at night due to my stupidity. I probably wouldn't have even told them about it.

45 minutes there and again back!!! No I wouldn’t have! Unless he was stranded, then that’s different.

What a twat! 🤣🤣🤣

No way would I have got out of bed for that.

Cancellation, yes.

Pissed behaviour? Sort yourself out mate. I'm staying in bed.

He would have been waiting around for you for 45 minutes after the police have told him to leave.
And 1.5hrs until he was home, instead of 45 minutes is a cab that I presume picked him up pretty much straight away?
Sounds like taxi back whilst costly, was the right thing to do.

I’d have been livid but my husband doesn’t drink or behave like this. I’d have made him get the taxi if it could he afforded. For some people they can’t and it would affect household budget.

Either way he’s a knob and I hope he’s suitability apologetic for his behaviour and pulling his weight today … and beyond.

£90?

I’d have booked him a Travelodge for £50, save having to deal with his drunk arse at all.

that or suggest he gets a cab to the next station on the route, and pick up the train there.

I’d tell him he was a fucking embarrassment, but there’s no way I’d leave him to get a taxi home. Just as he wouldn’t leave me. The difference being that neither of us would act like that and if we’d missed the last train for any other reason, we’d have got straight in a taxi without expecting the other to solve the situation for them (which would explain why we’d both be willing to drive 90 minutes for the other).

This is not the main point, but surely he could have got an Uber for half the price?
(I would not have gone to pick him up by the way.)

As ad adult he is aware that every choice has consequences. He chose to act like a twat, the result of which is he missed the train and now sucks up the £90 and hopefully learns a lesson

why should you be inconvenienced because of his actions

Was he not mortified to ring you and tell you why he was kicked off the platform?

YANBU. I'd also point out to him that he might prefer to pay the taxi fare than spend 45 minutes trapped in the car with me listening to exactly what I think of his behaviour!

Not malicious, but drinking so much in public that he risked being arrested is alarming, and I would want him to know he can't rely on being recused if he d it again.

Agree I’d have picked up if train cancelled. This way was his own stupid fault.

Quite. A man in his 30s as well, not even a youngster being silly and making a mistake.- he is lucky the police didn’t arrest him tbh. It would seriously make me see him in an entirely different light. How vile.

There is no way I would have gone to collect them, none.

It's pretty doubtful that you would be in the same circumstances as him as I can't imagine that you would expose yourself on the station platform and be removed by the police.

He sounds like an idiot and the loss of £90 should be a lesson to him.

What an idiot. I know he was drunk but what a stupid thing to do.

I’m not sure if I might have said “sorry I have just had a glass of wine”. That would have avoided any argument over whether to go or not.

Is that a little bit of a cop out?