AIBU to expect the host to keep her own bedroom?

[oopsiedaisies123]

The situation:

friend A has second home. Friend B has come to stay. Friend B has two young kids aged 2-5.

friends A’s bedroom has a super king. The other room is the spare room but only has a small double.

friend A’s new bf is coming to stay.

YANBU: friend A should gives up her bedroom and stays with new boyfriend in spare room on small double so friend B can be more comfortable with two young kids in super king.

YABU: friend B is ultimately the guest and should be in spare room with her two kids when boyfriend comes regardless as she’s the guest. Even though it’s Friend B’s second home it’s still her bedroom and she should always go there.

friend A and B have been closer for almost 20 years.

Friend B takes the room that is offered, if she doesn’t like it or thinks it’s not comfy enough then she looks for a local hotel

Why has friend A invited her new boyfriend to stay when she already has multiple guests?

I think that is a bit of a stupid decision tbh.

Are you friend B? If so, its friend A's decision.

Are you friend A? It's still friend A's decision.

If you're neither, its none of your business and still friend A's decision.

A standard double is fine for one person to share with 2kids 5& under. Would I want to do it every night of the year no, could I if needed, yes. For a holiday? No drama.

Expectingn a friend to give up their bigger bed in their own room is ridiculously entitled. Though some may offer it, it certainly shouldn't be expected.

I often give my bed up for guests, but no-one has ever given their bed up for me. When I move next month, I won’t be giving my room up again.

I’ll (well we’ll) give up our (super king, accessible on both sides) bed if it’s necessary for our guests - either elderly parents or couples with young kids who’d struggle with double that is only accessible on one side.
I would probably assume friend b would be comfy enough in the double room for her stay.

It’s been a LONG time since I’ve had a new bf, but I wouldn’t have bf stay over if it’s just a short trip for my friend; I’d stick to 1-2 date nights out/at his.

but each to their own and it’s the homeowners decision to offer or not.

it's not unreasonable for friend A to keep her larger bedroom but it would be courteous to offer it to friend B, that's what I would do for a guest.

Neither.
New boyfriend doesn't come over while friend A is hosting her friend and small children.

Yes I am the same. Would give up my bed for my parents or mum to go on sofa bed. Anyone my age or younger had the sofa bed and/or blow up.

or can stay in my room if we are away (sister only really) and bung sheets in wash when they leave and remake bed!

At 2 & 5, they can all fit in the bed. Both ages can still wet the bed etc and are curious enough to open drawers etc. They get the spare room. I'm overweight and can sleep in a single with my nine year old granddaughter.

I wouldn't dream of giving up my bedroom for a guest unless there was a real necessity.

nailed it

I wouldn't give up my bedroom for anyone. Would be awkward with me needing to get in there to access clothes & other belongings while the visitors were there.

It would be very kind of the host to give up her own room so her guests can be more comfortable. But it certainly isn't expected or required. All in all it is rather inconvenient to swap, as the host presumably has personal things in her own bedroom which she would need to move, and may mean changing the bedding extra times.

My sister & her DH gave up their larger room to make my (larger) visiting family more comfortable. I was extremely grateful. When they visited us years later, my DH and I gave up our bedroom to make them more comfortable because of their medical needs. They were extremely grateful. It was somewhat inconvenient in both cases, but it was a nice thing to do.

I don't think I would have put myself out for anyone I didn't love. Fortunately we are quite fond of each other.