AIBU to expect the host to keep her own bedroom?

[oopsiedaisies123]

The situation:

friend A has second home. Friend B has come to stay. Friend B has two young kids aged 2-5.

friends A’s bedroom has a super king. The other room is the spare room but only has a small double.

friend A’s new bf is coming to stay.

YANBU: friend A should gives up her bedroom and stays with new boyfriend in spare room on small double so friend B can be more comfortable with two young kids in super king.

YABU: friend B is ultimately the guest and should be in spare room with her two kids when boyfriend comes regardless as she’s the guest. Even though it’s Friend B’s second home it’s still her bedroom and she should always go there.

friend A and B have been closer for almost 20 years.

I think a small double bed is not big enough for an adult and 2 children. Nor is it big enough for a couple. So it doesn't solve the problem if person A gives up their room. One or both of the DC need a mattress or mat.

B in the spare

Guests in the spare.

The host keeps their own room and the guest gets the guest room. The guest can use an airbed if needed.

A double for a mum and two small kids is fine. One in with mum and the other in a travel cot or airbed.

These posts where someone attempts to keep it neutral by referring to A, B, C, etc are just irritating and inevitably the letters get mixed up, as here.

If this is really your friend, the bed arrangements are none of your business! If it’s you, why not just say so, none of us know you.

FWIW, I think a double is big enough for one adult and two very small children.

Hell no! If you make ‘em too comfy they’ll never go home!

Let the guest and two kids have the larger bed. It just seems like the nice thing to do.

I hate these threads with friend A and friend B - they are so hard to follow. Just say who is who. Basically if you are a guest you have whatever room you are given (and should be grateful for it). The guest would usually go in the guest bedroom unless there was a very compelling reason not to. I cannot see any compelling reason in this scenario so guest should have the guest room and host and bf have the host's room. The fact that it is a second home is completely irrelevant.

depends quite a lot on whether ‘guest’ is paying?

I’d assume the whole point of a spare/ guest bedroom is that guests sleep in it?
We are currently decorating our room so we’re using the spare room, if we had guests then I’d decamp and sleep on a mattress on our bedroom floor but in your case I don’t think there’s any need for the host to move out of her room if she doesn’t want to.

I don't have the brain power for that, host keeps her bedroom, guest sleeps in until guest room, she can have an airbed too if need be for children.

I’d rather not give up my room tbh. I do think you run the risk of small children weeing in the night so I’d give them the double with a water proof mattress protector.

I have in the past given up my room for the guests, when I was younger and didn't speak up for myself. Nowadays, not a chance. You're not even really welcome to come to stay so absolutely no way I'm going to make myself even more uncomfortable. Hotels were invented for a reason ha!

So friend A invited 3 guests to sleep in 1 bed. Far from ideal. Need to make up a bed on the floor for one of the kids.

I wouldn't expect the person who's house it is to vacate their own bedroom, a guest room is for guests. I assume you are friend A and own the place as you know how big the beds are, stay in your own bedroom, kids can always sleep on an airbed if the bed isnt big enough.

That's weird take! Why does it matter if friend A has sex with her bf? They are entitled to privacy in their bedroom, irrespective of who is in the house.

Of course the Host A should keep her bedroom.
Absolutely ridiculous to suggest otherwise.
She should also rethink inviting B if this is an issue.

Friend B has the option of paying for a hotel.

Friend B should bring an airbed and 2/3 of the B family share small double.

Friend A should keep her own bedroom especially as she is having her new boyfriend over. If it's a holiday home I'd want to show my master bedroom off to my boyfriend.

If you are hosting OP and you don't have issues about bed sharing (I mean, we use hotels and air bnbs right?) then give up the king. Even if topping and tailing the three will find it tricky.
If you are staying there OP suck it up whatever you get. But if you do have space to take a single blow up or put a child on a sofa then I'd ask to do that. 🍀

You charge guests for staying with you? No wonder some people have no friends!

Frankly the part that stood out to me most was the new bf coming to stay while there are kids there.

Of course an adult and two small children can sleep in a small double. And if there is any doubt then get a blow up mattress, or even a lilo and a couple of folded duvets for one of the children. I would also be making sure the small double has a really good waterproof mattress protector!

(Which is another reason I wouldn’t allow a two year old to be sleeping in my own bed - just in case!)