AIBU to expect the host to keep her own bedroom?

[oopsiedaisies123]

The situation:

friend A has second home. Friend B has come to stay. Friend B has two young kids aged 2-5.

friends A’s bedroom has a super king. The other room is the spare room but only has a small double.

friend A’s new bf is coming to stay.

YANBU: friend A should gives up her bedroom and stays with new boyfriend in spare room on small double so friend B can be more comfortable with two young kids in super king.

YABU: friend B is ultimately the guest and should be in spare room with her two kids when boyfriend comes regardless as she’s the guest. Even though it’s Friend B’s second home it’s still her bedroom and she should always go there.

friend A and B have been closer for almost 20 years.

Host keeps room. Visitor gets spare bedroom. Host explains exactly what is on offer in advance of visit, so that visitor can decide whether or not it works for them.

I'm assuming you are friend A? Yes, you should keep your own bedroom. What a faff having to move everything around.

Over my dead body does anyone, other than my husband get dibs on my extra-firm, deep mattress on my emperor-sized four poster bed!!

Personally, if I were the guest, I'd stick the 2 kids in the double bed and happily sleep on a single airbed. I hate sharing a bed with small people, they wriggle, they starfish and they have boney, pokey little elbows! 🤣

The owner of the house keeps the large bedroom. The guest stays in the guest room even if the master bedroom is unoccupied because that is not their space. When I went to stay with a friend who gave me their room and they went on the sofabed I was hugely embarrassed at hahing inadvertently causing such an inconvenience, I would never have agreed to go and stay if I had known that was the plan.

In this context OP I am not sure either option matters.
why would Friend B expose her children to the unknown boyfriend of Friend A?
It sounds a bit like Friend A us staying her territory & is fed up of Friend B using her home like it’s her own maybe?
Apologies if I am reading the situation wrong, but there are clearly a few factors you have not included here.

Friend B’ kids are not in with Friend A’s bf?

Host's bedroom has all her stuff in it, wouldn't want even a close friend looking in drawers, let alone two kids. And in general host keeps their own bed.

A has the new bf = shag fest for A.
B has kids and not enough room.
B is going to be uncomfortable any which way you look at this.
Edit: B should just go home, this won't be a pleasant catchup with A or a nice holiday with the kids.

Not what you asked but if I was friend B and the new boyfriend had been invited after my invite then I wouldn’t be very happy about third wheeling and a random man coming on our trip

what now? "Sorry A but I won't come this weekend as I'm afraid you'll be having sex with your new boyfriend and my children only stay in completely sex-free houses." or "sorry B could you ask your kids to make their porridge later as we want to have sex on the kitchen table right now"

Bf doesnt need to be there. Guest in guest room.

To answer the original question, in general the only people I would move out of my room for were my parents.

I've always given up the bigger bedroom when I have people stay.

Friend A keeps decides and stays in whatever room she wants.

Haha I was so confused…need to learn to read don’t I 😂🤣

Is the smaller room big enough to accommodate the kids as well? With airbeds/ cushions etc? Because a small double isn’t big enough for 2 adults and even one child, let alone 2. The host needs make sure there is is sufficient sleeping space for guests.
Personally I wouldn’t want other people’s kids sleeping in my bed due to potential wetting( happened to me when a friends 3 year old wet my bed which then took days to dry). So I’d prefer the DC in the guest bedroom .
But A and B need to chat to establish how it will work- would the kids be ok ( safe/ not misbehaving) in a room without their parents, or would they all need to sleep together? Will spare beds fit in the small room? If they are in the bigger bed, will A need to childproof that room/put mattress protector on?

Are you friend A?

Friend B needs to stop sulking she's on holiday for free at 2nd home of her pal who pays for the house the bills the heat the electric

Friend B can easily bed share with two small kids or have the kids in the bed and sleep on a camp bed herself next to them

No one gets my bed. I dont like people in my room.

Get kids couple blow up beds or partner sleeps on sofa

Friend A keeps her bedroom.
But then I don't give up my bedroom for anybody

Friend A stays in her own room. If friend B isn’t happy with her free accommodation she can pay for a hotel. It’s one adult and two small children in a double bed it’s not as if she has a partner with her too.

This is a bit of a stretch. What’s wrong with the children being introduced to A’s new partner. Not every man out there is the child snatcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

Host keeps own room. I would probably put a fold out bed or extra mattress in the spare room though.

(I think OP wanted us to pick up on the 'new' bit of boyfriend. I was obliging. I still maintain, new boyfriend = shag-fest. However, that is a good idea - kids in with Friend A = death to shag-fest.)