is this bag childish for year 7

[dinosaursroars]

my 11 year old is going to start year 7 next month and he’s recently diagnosed with autism after i said for years and everyone just said well wait and see but he has no ehcp and im worried he’s quiet and sensitive

He has no ehcp because we couldnt sort it in time and m worried about bullying and just everything about starting secondary school his primary only had 30 kids in a class who he was with all day and when going to places like the hall for pe they were always together but hell be pretty much by himself and thay fills me with anxiety

he’s my 3rd going to this school. my eldest i was abit worried as he started in 2020 and he had no transition days or anything but the worry wasn’t this much and my 2nd i wasnt worried at all hes socialable and loud (sometimes mouthy but a good thing because hes not the typical target for bullies if that makes sense) hes is in. year 10 in sept and theyll be going to school by bus together and im worried about this too as ds will have to wait 5 mins for his brother as year 7s finish early

now to the point of the post im looking at backpacks on vinted and this is his choice (pic attached) js this a target for bullying? id like your opinions but also if you have a child going into year 7 or just finished their opinion if possible

my eldest has said why should it matter what bag he wants and bullies will pick on anything if theyre going to which is true but id like him to not be a direct instant target if possible

also just any other advice and things i had loads of advice about my eldest starting college last year and im just feeling overwhelmed and anxious but dont want ds to feel like this so im trtingto hide it

Elastic laces not velcro.

Puma do a few slightly more interesting bags compared to standard black or navy, but not different enough to make people look again or make fun

I had similar panics when very naive DS1 started school (his father had actual nightmare about it - but he was sent to secondary school with a brief case)

I got a plain north face bag - with accent colours that he liked. And just told him this was appropriate for secondary school. I’d give him less choice.

If they don't have lockers, they have to carry everything they need around, all day. DS started off with a separate PE bag, but that soon became a pain. It's easier to keep an eye on just the one bag. A small lunch bag/box should fit in too.
Yes, most kids do have laces but there are still some in yr 9 with velcro shoes, especially the ones with dyspraxia who can't manage laces. How strict is the uniform code?

I wouldn't go with velcro shoes. My autistic boys both had lace ups like everyone else, one of them couldn't manage laces (still can't at 25!) so we replaced the laces they came with with some elastic ones that he didn't have to tie up.

My eldest had an old curly phone cord type key cord that clipped on to his trousers belt loop and the key went in his pocket, as he couldn't organise himself very well. He did learn to manage buttons (I would avoid velcro shirts too, how will he learn otherwise?)

Another vote for bigger and plain.
Bigger especially if he struggles with executive function, because keeping track of a diddly school bag, lunch bag and PE bag has "lost property" all over it and no one needs that extra stress.

Each school has its own trends and plain gives chance to work out how to fit with them. My older (autistic) son went for a big khaki outdoorsy style bag after y7. It's not "on trend" but it suits his interests and doesn't trigger other teenage sensibilities. My younger one has stuck with a sturdy navy blue. Their bags need to be comfortable for lugging their stuff on buses and on foot.

The trends in my school tend to be Hype/ Nike/ Adidas. Quite a lot of revival of the 90s ones I recognised from my youth. There's a lot of plain ones around too. There's also the "alternative" types, particularly in older year groups who have the social confidence to be more quirky/ individual or customise their bags.

In secondary it's not so much that being individual is an issue as the self confidence to not give a fuck about what less imaginative people think about you. DS1 gives no shits and has the edge that he will defend himself if needed and has avoided bother. DS2 is more sensitive and has had an incident which school dealt with appropriately. Their background of karate and parkrun also helps There is also the luck of finding similar people to team up with and in a secondary, there's more people to find someone similar, plus a good SEN set-up can help with that too.

I wouldn't buy either of those bags for an 11 year old to use at secondary school.
I'd say either north face, under armour, nike or adidas. Doesn't have to be plain black, theylll have other options.
I know you said dc isn't bothered about brands and we all reach a stage where what anyone else thinks doesn't matter at all, But that stage isn't when you start secondary school unfortunately. Some kids can be horrible.

It isn’t sad, it’s just realistic. Secondary schools are brutal places, teens can be incredibly cruel. I realise he’s only 11 but he’ll be surrounded by much older bigger kids. They will rip on the year 7 with a sonic bag, no point pretending otherwise.

Honestly OP, other kids are BRUTAL. DS3 is autustic & has all the stuff he needs to not stand out further: black Nike bag, Nike lunch bag, branded trainers for PE, elasticated laces in shoes; North Face waterproof; plain pencil case. We do have shirts with the velcro top button & brilliant pull-up trousers that don't look pull-up & he can loosen his tie enough so doesn't need to re-tie.

Honestly, don't fight this. His life will be unnecessarily difficult if he has either of those backpacks. It's not right, but it's reality.

Agree with others, the bags you have shared photos of are too small and very childish for year 7. He will stand out with those bags!

plain black or grey or navy blue would be better

If he really wants Sonic or dinosaurs, maybe something like these:

Japanese Shadow The Hedgehog - Japanese Shadow The Hedgehog - Backpacks https://share.google/lOfkaau2OkcQL2aPn

https://printerval.com/uk/velociraptor-skeleton-dinosaur-fan-gift-bones-kid-backpacks-p11285370?spid=242390925&pv2=eyJhbGciOiJFUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJjIjoiR0JQIiwiZXhwIjoxNzg2MDI5MDM3LCJtIjoiNjYxMTY4NzMxIiwibyI6IlAxMTI4NTM3MC1PTlMtQkxBLURlMzU5NWZjIiwicCI6MzYuMzk5OTk5OTk5OTk5OTk5fQ.pfKBq3tbe7KGMGVyAyNq1_R_aGco7Y0g0Csi46ZvyrdiS3BbdtPUb__2ytBgK6mrDuixAesRZ7jCp4ZNJ4gxZg&tr=&adgroupid=&campaignid=23699262189&utm_source=adwords&utm_medium=paid&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=23709283567&gclid=CjwKCAjw4dDTBhAqEiwAkHYmSngucTHbTyv9YT3sMo3YWkIvWVDFnqKJJFugqEvmxZEqA5H1zzkQzhoCiacQAvD_BwE

Absolutely this. It's realistic.

An SEN school is a totally different ballgame.

Just tell him only plain bags are allowed.

I appreciate you’re stressed, but as another send parent it isn’t too difficult to lay your boundaries here. Yes he might be upset, but a lunch bag and a small sonic rucksack in secondary school isn’t going to work, socially or logically.

A simple ‘you need to choose a bigger bag, here are three options which one do you like?’

‘No, you cannot take a lunch bag with you, your lunch will need to go into your bag because you will not have anywhere to put it during the day. This is why we need to choose a bigger bag’

I appreciate that it can cause arguments and meltdowns. I have dealt with it myself. But realistically he is going to be given a4+ books. Several at a time, plus other belongings. The bags are too small and not secondary appropriate.

if he can’t tie shoelaces, then you can get no-tie shoelace or elastic shoelaces. They won’t stand out as different at a casual glance.
Plus shoes with Velcro get harder to find as feet get bigger, especially if the school has strict rules about what kind of shoe is acceptable.

One of the reasons I got my DC a bag large enough to have a PE kit inside was because I was worried that it’d be too easy for them to lose their PE kit if it was in a separate bag.

Realistic - yes I agree.
But it makes you see why so many children can't cope with school and end up not attending.
It's frequently a miserable and depressing place to be.
Why can't we teach children (well everyone) to just be nice to each other, respect each other and not care about each others backpack choices.
Sigh 🙁

Plain nike/adidas/similar bag or it's guaranteed bullying. Bullies will hone in on anything they can and a backpack like this is an easy target. (Parent of a child that had to be removed from school due to bullying)

Oh no definitely not. Plain black I’d say and fairly large. Mountain warehouse, Jan sport etc….

This is a good point - parents are always worried about the new kids that will be at the school but the kids they went to primary school with can be just as bad as the new ones.

Yes but in my daughters case the boy was admiring the bag - not taking the piss out of it.

It will definitely depend on the school. I work in a secondary girls and I’d say most students have something plain or popular. The ones who don’t tend to change backpacks soon after starting. If he is resilient and wouldn’t care what other kids say then he should get one he likes but kids can be mean, sad as it is!

Sonic and jurassic park key rings fixed to the zip pulls, on a black adidas or nike bag, is gonna be best, he will possibly get hassle otherwise. sad to say.

We drive a long road that has a school quite a bit up it. Amongst the sea of black bags as the kids were walking home, we noticed the one that stood out immediately. A child just starting had a Pickle Rick bag from Rick and Morty. Unfortunately, as others have said, secondary school is brutal and kids will notice either of those bags.
Such a shame parents don't teach some kids to be civil at the least and some kids who maybe were brought up well might still follow along with their peers.

Agree with pp before mine, if possible, a plain bag with a nod to his interests will fare alot better.

You need to get him to look at adult sized bags. Those 2 examples will get ruined quickly with all the books and paraphernalia they have to keep in thrm

Plain black back pack with enough room to fit the equivalent of 2 full lever arch files, lunch box and pe kit with trainers etc

Dont show him unsuitable stuff to choose from

OP you need to get a grip here for your kids sake. Don't send him with a Jurassic Park bag with 'Roar' written all over it, its just cruel.

Show him 3 suitable large bags to pick from, and tell him to get one. He doesn't have to like it.