is this bag childish for year 7

[dinosaursroars]

my 11 year old is going to start year 7 next month and he’s recently diagnosed with autism after i said for years and everyone just said well wait and see but he has no ehcp and im worried he’s quiet and sensitive

He has no ehcp because we couldnt sort it in time and m worried about bullying and just everything about starting secondary school his primary only had 30 kids in a class who he was with all day and when going to places like the hall for pe they were always together but hell be pretty much by himself and thay fills me with anxiety

he’s my 3rd going to this school. my eldest i was abit worried as he started in 2020 and he had no transition days or anything but the worry wasn’t this much and my 2nd i wasnt worried at all hes socialable and loud (sometimes mouthy but a good thing because hes not the typical target for bullies if that makes sense) hes is in. year 10 in sept and theyll be going to school by bus together and im worried about this too as ds will have to wait 5 mins for his brother as year 7s finish early

now to the point of the post im looking at backpacks on vinted and this is his choice (pic attached) js this a target for bullying? id like your opinions but also if you have a child going into year 7 or just finished their opinion if possible

my eldest has said why should it matter what bag he wants and bullies will pick on anything if theyre going to which is true but id like him to not be a direct instant target if possible

also just any other advice and things i had loads of advice about my eldest starting college last year and im just feeling overwhelmed and anxious but dont want ds to feel like this so im trtingto hide it

Yes unfortunately those bags are not for high school unfortunately. I’d say to him you e spoken to other parents whose children attend the school and been advised no character bags are allowed.

@dinosaursroars Normally I would say 'yes', but it's the bag that your child likes and you've said he's recently been diagnosed with autism. Surely children are not so insensitive that they would bully a child with autism?

I think they would, without a doubt.

Unfortunately they definitely are. My nephew is autistic and was horrifically bullied, a lot of his mates were also bullied. I was bullied 10 years ago for being weird (now know it was autism), and I thought maybe it’s changed… it hasn’t. There’s often some older kids who realise somethings wrong and defend autistic kids, but honestly it’s not always the case. I also work with a lot of home Ed kids who are autistic and all of them were horrifically bullied in mainstream. Some of them were too autistic to realise it was bullying and I almost think that’s better.

Are they allowed that style most schools are only allowed plain black or similar 🤔

Our school only allows bags in plain dark colours. However my DS absolutely rocked his pokemon lunchbox until year 9. He very much marches to the beat of his own drum and said that he doesn't care if people have an issue with his lunchbox. He found his people at secondary school and defied my worries by thriving there. I think a lot depends on the child and the school.

All high schools around here insist on black. If a logo it has to be very small, same for shoes.

If you are going to go down this route "I like it" or "I am a kid" is enough. Speaking as a ND adult, teaching ND "smart arse" lecturing scripts isn't going to make their lives any easier.

Good god no please do not let him take that bag. You may as well paint a massive target on his back

I would say these bags are fine for KS1. But my son is in year 5 and has had Nike rucksacks for a few years.

That won’t fit an A4 exercise book for a start. And by the end of his first week he’ll have about six of those. Plus a pencil case, lunch, water bottle, text books.

This why are you showing him unsuitable options. Id just have printed off or shown pics of only dark coloured plain large rucksacks and told him school have said it needs to be plain, dark, and large enough.
Or just buy a rucksack and tell him here is your new rucksack for sch. If its all hes got its what he'll use.

My girl has a pokemon backpack in yr 6 going into yr 7 (middle school). I guess it depends on the school but can't imagine any bullying in ours about a bag.

Hello! I work in a secondary school and as much as I want to say let him choose and have what he wants, he’d be better off with a plain black Nike or Adidas rucksack. Those designs are quite childish and I fear would single him out. Plus, too small for all he’ll need to carry.

I’d contact the SENCO too - there will likely be quiet spaces or clubs he could spend break & lunchtimes with like minded peers, away from the hustle & bustle of secondary school life.

He should, in theory, be able to take whatever bag he likes….but we all know that’s not how it works sadly.
So, my advice would be to pick a side, Adidas or Nike, plain black to give him a fighting chance.
Ridiculous and sad, but true, it’s just how it is.

You need to go into sports direct or tk maxx in person and find a plain kne big enough for books and folders, you can't internet shop this. If you found one he liked in person and you couldn't afford it then you could then buy it from Vinted.
I would also not show him options of bags any more just lie and say they're not available and are too small and you have to choose them from x y z shop.
Start of secondary not the time for standing out. Worrying about keyrings is a worry wasted, let that one go, he can have a sonic bookmark or jurassic world wallet or something instead if those are his special interests.

If he's used to polo's perhaps do some school trial runs and get him wearing his shirts and practising buttons or laces in the house. Or again go into a shop and buy some shoes that have laces he can slip on and off, or buy the elastic laces that are stretchy and replace his shoes with those as velcro is too babyish I'm afraid for secondary. Especially if he's in that awkward in-between not having an ehcp or having other markets of being sen but clearly being a sen kid. He needs to find his tribe first and get established xx

I think a plainer one would be better for Year 7 x

I would do the same, kids are mean and you wouldn't want to give them any reason to pick on him. I'm sorry i'm a coward too xx

Please do not send him to school with that - and as everyone else has said, as well as be babyish its far too small.

He needs something bigger and sturdier. Think 5 A4 text books a day with additional booklets, resources. Pencil case, scientific calculator, drink bottle, lunch box etc.

If it was me, I would create a fake letter with school logo etc and put something about looking forward to welcoming you into school and then go into school bags and they need to be plain black or navy and put some dimensions in. I would then post it!

My autistic would have believed it but yours might not but worth a go.

My heart has just broken for you. I am so sorry you experienced that. You deserved so much better.

Yes it is too young. And it’s too small. They all have plain rucksacks which are mainly Nike at the mainstream state both my children are at. Just advise him he needs something larger to carry the many a4 books he will need.

The bag is too small for secondary school. In my opinion yes the bag is too young. I understand that your son is SEN, and he may behave younger than his years, but this bag will make him stand out for all the wrong reasons.

Re The Velcro, that may be ok, my child is year 10 and it’s having a big comeback as “cool” at our school!
I feel a bit mean now pointing out the colourful bags he likes won’t go down well ☹️
Could he keep a nice rucksack of his choice for private days out and holidays? That’s what mine did.
As for PE kit, most kids at our secondary carry it all in a plastic carrier bag from JD sports!

You could be me 😥the world can be a very cruel place for a quirky 12 year old can’t it?

@dinosaursroars your DS needs to uunderstand that having a large, plain bag is a non-negotiable social rule. He can secretly think it’s a stupid rule (I do!) but he needs to learn the social conventions before he can flout them if he so chooses.

My child is about to go into year 7. He doesn't care about fashion or what's cool at all. He will wear his sister's unicorn hoodie if he's cold and he still likes his dinosaur rucksack from year 3 - which is lovely and I think it makes him even more endearing. However, kids can be awful to each other, so unfortunately I feel like I have to guide him a little. I don't want him to have to worry about anything else apart from getting used to secondary school. For various reasons, he is a little vulnerable and I don't want him to be picked on, so he's got a plain navy blue Adidas rucksack to start with. He's welcome to chose his own style when he has the lay of the land.

If it hadn’t have been the trainers, it would have been something else unfortunately. I turned up on my first day with the same stuff as everyone else but I was still bullied.

Secondary school kids can be cunts to each other unfortunately 😞 They sense something in others and pile in.