is this bag childish for year 7

[dinosaursroars]

my 11 year old is going to start year 7 next month and he’s recently diagnosed with autism after i said for years and everyone just said well wait and see but he has no ehcp and im worried he’s quiet and sensitive

He has no ehcp because we couldnt sort it in time and m worried about bullying and just everything about starting secondary school his primary only had 30 kids in a class who he was with all day and when going to places like the hall for pe they were always together but hell be pretty much by himself and thay fills me with anxiety

he’s my 3rd going to this school. my eldest i was abit worried as he started in 2020 and he had no transition days or anything but the worry wasn’t this much and my 2nd i wasnt worried at all hes socialable and loud (sometimes mouthy but a good thing because hes not the typical target for bullies if that makes sense) hes is in. year 10 in sept and theyll be going to school by bus together and im worried about this too as ds will have to wait 5 mins for his brother as year 7s finish early

now to the point of the post im looking at backpacks on vinted and this is his choice (pic attached) js this a target for bullying? id like your opinions but also if you have a child going into year 7 or just finished their opinion if possible

my eldest has said why should it matter what bag he wants and bullies will pick on anything if theyre going to which is true but id like him to not be a direct instant target if possible

also just any other advice and things i had loads of advice about my eldest starting college last year and im just feeling overwhelmed and anxious but dont want ds to feel like this so im trtingto hide it

Slip on shoes or elastic laces. My daughter has the sketchers for PE that are slip on but look like laced up usual trainers.

Secondary school teacher here... The school can apply for an EHCP for you in September. Show them the evidence you have of the diagnosis and then the SEN team can fill in the request form for you.
As for the bag they are quite child like aren't they and look a bit small? If he has to take any books home he'll need a bigger one. Maybe look for Sonic or Jurassic Park but in a more subtle pattern? I know Vinted is cheaper but if it eleviates your worries then it will be worth paying a bit more money. I hope he settles when he starts.

What about getting him on safety aspect. My son has a proviz bag. It’s reflective as he cycles. But he might think a reflective bag is cool.

I don’t know if it’s different where I live (Australia) but it’s quite ok for kids to have different styles of backpack and bag charms, plush figures etc. hanging from their bags and not get bullied. My kids are at a large school too. It’s such a shame kids can’t just enjoy what they like without others spoiling it for them.

Our school only allow plain black bags probably for this reason.

My GS is similarly diagnosed and wanted a similar backpack. His mother refused and bought him a plain black one last September. Do not buy the one he wants

Respectfully I didn’t say push for an EHCP and all will be well. I work in a field that deal with the education/SEN system daily and am well aware of its failings. An EHCP does not solve everything but it provides options.

My own son has an EHCP (a pretty crap one) but post 16 it has helped him access college courses and supported internships that would not have been available or open to him without one. The OP absolutely should push for an EHCP.

All academies in Hackney and Tower Hamlets have very strict rules on uniform. Not even allowed things like black shoes with visible logos on them (so no Kickers etc).

https://www.trutexhackney.com/collections/types?q=Rucksack

If you’re worried about bullying I would get him a plain backpack vans or Nike etc. unfortunately kids will bully no matter what but I wouldn’t give them ammunition by sending him with a Jurassic park backpack.

Hmm

ultimately it is the luck of the draw. If he is not a very confident and unbothered type, I might choose a different backpack for him

My son sounds similar to yours but he wouldn't take even a Hype backpack to secondary school, or even Year 6 at primary. He has a plain black Puma bag and all his friends have similar black bags, either branded or unbranded. This year he wants a black Nike one. I think either black, branded or not or a coloured branded bag.

I showed him this post and he says there's no one at his school with bags like those. On a purely practical point they'll be far too small as well.

I was also very worried about him starting secondary school as his best friend went to a different school but he's much happier there than at primary and made new friends very quickly.

How does that fit in with the new rules that schools can only insist on three logoed items of uniform? Have they taken something else off?

I’m a bit 🙄 at any school/academy that bans logos on shoes but then insists every other item of clothing has the school one on it. Particularly ones in deprived areas.

Could you get him a keyring or something he could attach to the bag that he likes but keep it to a black large bag.
If hes going to struggle with organising himself the bigger the bag the easier it is.

This bag looks great OP. Tell him it’s the bag he’s getting, he can pick it he wants black or green.

Yes it is but of he likes it just go with it. Has he chosen it?

I would say it’s childish and far too small. Go with a sports rucksack. Much safer and the better size.

Haven't heard about this rule. This is by far the least problematic thing about East London secondary schools though...

Well yes you probably have a good point

The rule comes in next month, the schools can only have three logo/special material (like kilts I assume) compulsory items plus tie which includes PE kit and bags. Everything else must be allowed to be bought from anywhere.

I think it’s a great step forward - some schools were even insisting trousers/skirts had a logo embroidered on rather than letting parents buy a five pack at Sainsbury’s for a similar price

The only branded items in our school are blazer, bag, PE kit and winter hat. The rest are generic (jumper and tie have to be bought in a uniform shop but they are unbranded)

The rest can be bought from anywhere but are very strictly prescribed. You'd get a detention for a wrong colored socks or jacket.

Winter hat? 😂

If PE kit is two items, say polo shirt and jumper, and this is all compulsory then they’re on five so legally you could kick back at that. But presumably if your DC are already there you’ve got them anyway so may as well get use out of them.

I guess that means the Y7 kids can’t get into trouble if they had blazer and PE kit but their own bag.

Glad I don’t have to police that 😂

The Sonic one looks like it's for kids of about 6-7 yo. The Jurassic one looks a little more mature, but still more late primary age. I think the latter if he insists. Unless others have similar he could feel like he stands out too much and choose a plainer one once he starts.

we’re also in east london but theres no rules about bags and i wouldnt say the policy is that strict as some schools. shoes are must be plain black shoes not trainers with no letters or logos

ive shown ds bags this morning and he pointed out this one but i dont know if itll be big enough as its 22l perhaps itll be best to go in person but that may be difficult as i dont drive so busses with my baby in pushchair and younger child and him
its ok sale so i dont mind paying that much even though ill have to probably get a new bag next year if it gets covered in pen and all sorts as i dont know how good itll wash but thats a year away

i think i will go with letting him having a keyring but ive looked around for the sonic keyring he has with his initial but i cant find it anymore but have found an initial one with spiderman so he might agree plus spiderman seems more green up and the new film has just came out so it might be more in

Go for the red one. Don't go spiderman.
X

@dinosaursroars that red one is a good compromise - it’s a ‘safe’ brand but it’s got a bit of colour. I suspect keychains etc will be fine but perhaps take the bag in as is for the first week or so and see if other kids have keychains or decorations?

Disclaimer - of course none of this should matter, but unfortunately it does. I still remember going in on my first non uniform day in year 7 in 1998 wearing a blue floral slip skirt (and looking, though i do say myself, very cool in a 90s grunge kind of way 😁) and I remember being tormented all day by a roomful of kids wearing identical black bootcut trousers. I thought they were idiots and still do, but that didn’t make it hurt any less or make me less uncomfortable that day. I also recall a girl who started year 7 in my school wearing white lacy knee socks and t-bar shoes. A very cool look on a confident teenager, a terrible look on an awkward tween whose parents wouldn’t let her grow up. She was mercilessly picked on, and i remember thinking even as a 15 year old, ‘why the hell didn’t her parents prepare her better?’

OP might have to appeal, potentially more than once, but it is possible to get an EHCP with what the OP describes.

If provision in EHCPs isn’t being provided, the EHCP can be enforced, including via JR if necessary. Parents don’t have to accept unlawful behaviour and should be support to challenge LAs and schools rather than accept it. As LAs have been shown time and again, lack of funding, resources and staffing are not lawful excuses for breaches of the law.