is this bag childish for year 7

[dinosaursroars]

my 11 year old is going to start year 7 next month and he’s recently diagnosed with autism after i said for years and everyone just said well wait and see but he has no ehcp and im worried he’s quiet and sensitive

He has no ehcp because we couldnt sort it in time and m worried about bullying and just everything about starting secondary school his primary only had 30 kids in a class who he was with all day and when going to places like the hall for pe they were always together but hell be pretty much by himself and thay fills me with anxiety

he’s my 3rd going to this school. my eldest i was abit worried as he started in 2020 and he had no transition days or anything but the worry wasn’t this much and my 2nd i wasnt worried at all hes socialable and loud (sometimes mouthy but a good thing because hes not the typical target for bullies if that makes sense) hes is in. year 10 in sept and theyll be going to school by bus together and im worried about this too as ds will have to wait 5 mins for his brother as year 7s finish early

now to the point of the post im looking at backpacks on vinted and this is his choice (pic attached) js this a target for bullying? id like your opinions but also if you have a child going into year 7 or just finished their opinion if possible

my eldest has said why should it matter what bag he wants and bullies will pick on anything if theyre going to which is true but id like him to not be a direct instant target if possible

also just any other advice and things i had loads of advice about my eldest starting college last year and im just feeling overwhelmed and anxious but dont want ds to feel like this so im trtingto hide it

I work in Secondary and your DC won’t be alone, many (esp boys), have younger themed products. However, I would say it looks a little small to fit multiple A4 books etc. I’d suggest to look at larger bags and maybe choose a Sonic pencil case.

Driving by a secondary school at end of day time, 98% or thereabouts had almost identical NIKE or ADIDAS or similar black rucksacks. I wouldn't deviate from that tbh. At least you won't be buying another for him when he comes home saying it's different from everyone else.

You can like what you like and own it proudly, but I wouldn’t allow my child to have something like this when starting at a new school, where not many people know them. Get him the backpack for home. Get a plain black one or Nike or Adidas black one that will fit everything he needs.
I have an autistic teenager who did not know anyone at secondary. It’s hard enough being autistic and trying to find your place whilst being vulnerable to others. Help them out with the right gear

I went through this with my son who is likely high functioning autism. He chose a bright orange Luton town bag. He was so pleased with it and loved it. The first day he came back after using it he was so down as had been ribbed about it. I was heartbroken for him. Maybe convince him it's too small and he needs a bigger one for high school rather than say it's too childish etc

High school is the fucking Wild West. You need to do what you can to make sure he doesn’t stand out.

I wish it wasn’t that way. But it is.

I agree with PP that your only decent option is pushing the Not Fit For Purpose line of the backpacks he's chosen. They are definitely far too small for all the shite they schlep around.

If you can’t afford a branded new bag then can you not just get a second hand plain black one from Vinted?

You are making excuses and keep mentioning your son is refusing or being stubborn when if you didn’t give him a choice and just bought him the bag he’d have to use it.

You have already experienced him being bullied and how awful it is so I don’t understand why you don’t want to do everything you can to prevent it happening more.

Are you trying to avoid a meltdown from him if you say no? You are just delaying him being upset if that’s the case and if it’s about money you’ll likely have to replace that bag if you buy it.

I am probably a bit too invested in this thread but the thought of you sending a vulnerable kid who has already been bullied to school with a bag that’s an invitation to be singled out and bullied makes me feel protective and to be frank pretty angry!

He might be ok in school and find his tribe and make friends, he might not be picked on if he keeps his head down and doesn’t draw attention to himself.
If he does go with a children’s backpack though it’s going to draw attention to him immediately and increase the risk.
Pp have already pointed out about him being called sonic or kids shouting “runnnn” if he takes the dinosaur bag, this is exactly what kids are like and once it’s said it sticks.

My 12 year old is a massive Squishmallows fan but has chosen a black shoulder back for Y7 (instead of the Squishmallows one she really wanted).

i don’t think a shoulder bag is a great idea but she tells me that’s what many of the girls are going for. So I shall say nothing (and will probably have to buy her another bag before October 🙄)

I suspect I’ll have this problem next year when ds goes into year 7. He also has ASD and is very behind in his ways. He does have an ehcp and his school are applying for a stf place for him but I can’t see him getting one. Hence the bullying worry starts!

He’s very stubborn and there’s no chance he will use a bag if the characters aren’t his interests. I noticed your ds will accept a Jurassic World bag. My ds is also dinosaur obsessed. I managed to get him to compromise on a dinosaur Hype bag. My thinking is that at least the brand is a bit more age appropriate. I don’t know how to link but if you google it they’re still in stock.

This. Can you get both? He could have the one he likes for weekend days out.

He needs a bigger one for secondary school. Don’t forget done days he needs food tech stuff, other days PE kit. DS18 got one that is a bit bigger than the standard size and he could get everything in. I agree with plain black popular brand or a hiking brand. DS has an osprey one which we got in a sale in an outdoors kit shop.

I understand your worries about your lad. tbh the rucksack might be a little bit "childish". The answer is to tell him school policy says black/plain for school. No reason why he cant have this sonic one for non school use?

The bag is not big enough for secondary school. You’re his parent, you need to guide him towards a bigger bag. Present suitable options, not small bags.

You don’t have to wait for school to apply for an EHCP, you can do it.

This is only going to work if it's the actual policy, he's not stupid and if others don't have plain backpacks he'll know she lied.

You can’t sent him with those bags . Just say to him a bag is park of his school uniform and can’t have characters on them .
a bit of colour is okay but it’s expected that school bags are dark coloured.

He may be stubborn but it's best to deal with a stubborn meltdown at home over this than sending him to school with a target on his back.

fine for age 7 but not year 7

he doesn’t want to have the piss ripped out of him

Could he have a snazzy pencil case instead, as a compromise? Agree with the other posters that plain and definitely bigger will be better (if you can convince him).
good luck!

As a secondary school teacher, I don't see any of our boys with these bags - would echo that he needs a bigger one, and I would suggest a plainer one. Perhaps he could have a Sonic keyring to go on the zip? Or a pencil case? They don't seem to be fussed about what pencil cases the others have.

She’s got two other children there and her son isn’t blind.

My son would like that second bag and would want it for year 7 easily too! Also very worried, going into year six this year and trying desperately to get an echp.

I would explain it wouldn’t fit all his school stuff especially pe kit on top! So make a compermise he can have a addidas bag but get some pins he likes to stick to the bag or his blazer.

I would take this comment very seriously

You are being a good mum by holding firm on this. Its not a bag for kids his age.

Im a teacher and I dont see any year 7's with that kind of back pack.

This. He can have it for home but its too small for school. He needs a big plain black one for school. Job done.
Good luck op.

How helpful

If he’s already shy and a target for bullying then no I wouldn’t send him in with those bags. Both look too small as well and not proper sized bags that he’ll need to carry everything. I would just say you checked the sizes and they’re too small, so here are some other ones that are the right size and only show him plain ones.