is this bag childish for year 7

[dinosaursroars]

my 11 year old is going to start year 7 next month and he’s recently diagnosed with autism after i said for years and everyone just said well wait and see but he has no ehcp and im worried he’s quiet and sensitive

He has no ehcp because we couldnt sort it in time and m worried about bullying and just everything about starting secondary school his primary only had 30 kids in a class who he was with all day and when going to places like the hall for pe they were always together but hell be pretty much by himself and thay fills me with anxiety

he’s my 3rd going to this school. my eldest i was abit worried as he started in 2020 and he had no transition days or anything but the worry wasn’t this much and my 2nd i wasnt worried at all hes socialable and loud (sometimes mouthy but a good thing because hes not the typical target for bullies if that makes sense) hes is in. year 10 in sept and theyll be going to school by bus together and im worried about this too as ds will have to wait 5 mins for his brother as year 7s finish early

now to the point of the post im looking at backpacks on vinted and this is his choice (pic attached) js this a target for bullying? id like your opinions but also if you have a child going into year 7 or just finished their opinion if possible

my eldest has said why should it matter what bag he wants and bullies will pick on anything if theyre going to which is true but id like him to not be a direct instant target if possible

also just any other advice and things i had loads of advice about my eldest starting college last year and im just feeling overwhelmed and anxious but dont want ds to feel like this so im trtingto hide it

Christ no, Smiggle is just as bad!

Why does it have to specifically Nike or Adidas? 🤷‍♀️

Oh and the only other advice I’d give is get black or navy as lighter bags go bogging. My DS’s Eastpack was orange and the quality means structurally it looks like new but the bottom is filthy and a pen leaked in it which means I couldn’t even give it away

Surely it's no surprise that a thread asking about nd parenting will be answered by a lot of parents of nd dc?

The “touch” thing is a bullying game.

The bullies pretend that the target’s touch will contaminate whatever or whoever the target touches, and when this child touches things, as we all do when going about our normal everyday routines, the bullies will say things like “urgh! You’ve got the (name) touch!” Or “This toy’s dirty now because it’s got the (name) touch!”

It’s the sort of thing that a certain sort of mean-spirited child finds great fun, and it can obviously be very distressing for the child who’s the target of this.

Just because they are safe, socially acceptable brands that are unlikely to make someone a target.

I disagree with pps suggesting Smiggle or Hype, both of those would be seen as "childish" brands where I am.

Blimey - I haven't heard of it. Thank you for clarifying. You're absolutely right, what a nasty thing to do!

Not what you have asked but based on what you have said please push hard for an EHCP. Both for support in his current mainstream secondary but also to afford you the option of specialist provision if mainstream isn’t working at secondary level. It will also benefit him to have an EHCP in college and post education up to the age of 25. Based on some of the things you have mentioned it sounds like dyspraxia may also be a possibility.

Its a tough one if your son has his heart set on Sonic or Jurrasic park. My son has autism and was starting the big school last year, I went for nike bag, it has 2 compartments so one for books, other is for lunch which is handy. I hope you can change his mind, if not he will have to just go with what he wants x

Yup. Anyone who accidentally started yr 7 with a Hype bag, very soon got something else here. Hype is very much edgy yr 5 or 6, but not Secondary.

Just go for a plain black or navy bag that matches uniform, reliable brand like Nike. The largest you can afford and test it for strength and comfort on the shoulders as they end up carrying so many books - often all of their books all of the time for fear of getting a detention if they forget one.

Honestly yes it’s babyish, I’d love to say he should be free to carry any bag he chooses but in the real world, stick to a plain black one.

Maybe something like this? He can choose the colour and not bad at £9.

20 L backpack, Arpenaz 100 - Brown | Decathlon

I would tell him the other bags are too small.

Because that is what I have been told the boys all generally have at the school my son is starting at. My son is not ND but can be quiet and shy, so I want the transition to go well and like the OP not make him stand out by not fitting in socially. Once he has found his feet and made new friends (going to a school with only 3 others he knows, none of whom are from his friendship group) then he will know what is ok and perhaps be more confident to make his own choices.
I don't think anyone wants to set their child up to fail and be a target.

You def don’t need to buy a new bag, none of mine have new ones and they have no idea really. There’s about a million black with white Nike logo bags knocking about on vinted or ebay for less than £5. Same with Hype bags, they are a lot of the same patterns as on their website still too (got my daughter one second hand she picked from the website)

God this thread has depressed me so much. If a Sonic bag for an 11 year old is a cause for bullying what hope does any slightly unusual let alone Send kid have? It’s all just reminding me how fucking shit school and other kids can be.

You sound like a good mum, OP. I’m sorry this is a worry for you and I wish your boy could just have his Sonic bag without you worrying. Society sucks sometimes.

I would buy him that bag but for trips away or weekends with you, etc. I think in an ideal world that bag would be great for high school and he wouldn't get bullied for it, but it's not an ideal world and I do think he'll get bullied/picked on for that bag. I'd advise a plain backpack, in a boring colour like black or navy. My eldest is starting year 8, she now has a bad bag and only in black as no one has any other colours and she doesn't went to get made fun off, which is sad, but she's protecting herself. I know that on her school bike and montreix (sp) are popular brands, so potentially a plain backpack by one of those brands would be better.

I'd get a plain bag, but in an unremarkable, non-black colour. School bags often end up in a pile and it's easier to find one that isn't black.

It’s def changed in the last 8 years or so then as Hype was v popular at DCs’ school then!

Having worked with SEN children in senior school I can tell you that both of those backpacks will cause endless bullying. Could you tell him the school says it has to be a black backpack?

I know it will be difficult to get him to change his mind but it is definitely the right thing to do.

What a sad thread 😔 more needs to be done about kids picking on others. It's a bag ffs!

It is sad, but it’s the reality of the situation and that won’t change by September

My son was in the equivalent year last year in Scotland. All the boys had sports brand backpacks (nike, adidas etc), 95% of which were black. I'd suggest getting one of those for the reasons you're worried. The bags you've shared are a bit too 'primary school' unfortunately.

I'd go plain Nike. In theory your eldest is right but I think sonic is definitely a target and you don't want to set him up for failure. Ideally just go really simple and a brand name so nobody can really pick holes.

This isn’t even about bullying because he wants a bag that is a bit childish

It’s because the bag is too small for purpose.