AIBU to install cameras because I suspect my husband is hiding affair?

[Lovingmynewlifestyle]

I need a little help. I have a strong suspicion that my husband is having / starting an affair. He has recently had two meetings (meals out - he paid) that I know of with a married friend, they knew each other before I met him. They talk frequently via text and I think a second Facebook account (that I don’t have access to). He has never told me about this I discovered a message by accident and have since found proof. I think he is now hiding how he communicates via hidden apps in his iPhone, he is very tech aware, and this these hidden apps are protected by touch ID that I don’t know how to get around.

The thing is I am going away tomorrow to visit family 150 miles away. I think this OW is coming around to my house to listen to music. I can’t prove 100%.

Am I unreasonable to get internal cameras? I can organise this tonight if I order now via prime. But I don’t know what to order, any suggestions?? It has to be easy to install. I am not tech savvy.

I have met this person, and we are due out as a group soon. Not leaving my husband so don’t suggest. Need to confront with evidence.

If you’re not leaving him what’s the point of all this? Spend the price + shipping on therapy.

YANBU

My advice would be if you’re not interested in splitting up with him even if you get confirmed evidence and intend to turn a blind eye then there is really no benefit to you having it. Just crack on

Just crack on - is one approach I am looking at.

Do you think they are having sex, or just listening to music? You're not going to know either way with a doorbell.
You've already caught him out. Can't you have a conversation based on that?

I think the point at which you’re installing CCTV in your house to catch him out, is the point your marriage is over.

Take his phone with you 😂

no sex yet. just re connecting. three meetings so far, all secret. Talking about songs and one night stands. Baring in mind we are all 60!!!! are we remembering our youth? or going for it!!

messages are on iPad, computer and apple watch. Very tech sav

CCTV all over house anyway. I just don’t know how to access it. My bad. I want independent cameras.

So you pick up nothing so he could shag at her place, this whole thing is unhinged

I would NOT recommend this.
My ex husband has recently been charged with stalking and sentenced with a suspended 2 year prison sentence. This is after he fitted secret listening devices in our home to track what I was doing and who I was talking to.

Find my app? I know their address?

For apple, do you know his passcode? The fingertip just needs to fail a couple of times which it would do if you tried, and you’d then be prompted to use the passcode instead

op, basically with any cctv systems you need professionals and good high quality cameras etc think mi5 / gchq style ones

Therapy for what? I am happy and secure. Just confused at moment

@Lovingmynewlifestyle if there is cctv all over that you can’t access, won’t some of record you installing the spy cams?

Ring doorbells don't work through glass, in case you were thinking of filming out through a window.

If you think CCTV is the solution yes you need therapy

100% know passcode. Did not know this was an option. Thank you. Just the information I needed.
For those that this i am controlling. He knows my passcode too.

night folks back early tomorrow. x

As mentioned you can put in passcode once fingertip has failed a couple of times.

Your relationship is already over if you are seriously considering getting cameras in.
Definiteky switch off your own phone (in case he’s tracking you) then return early.

He may be having sex with this ex girlfriend but hasn't told you because fir him it isn't serious and he loves you and doesn't want to risk losing you.

Which is obviously not ideal.

If you don't want to leave him, have you thought of bringing the matter up openly? And maybe discuss the option of opening up the marriage.

Or, as another poster said, just turn a blind eye.

You don’t even need to try the fingerprint, never mind let it fail a couple of times. When you go to open the iPad, the fingerprint and code options are there on the screen.

All he would need to do is disconnect the wifi and say the power went out and the doorbell wouldn’t pick it up.