AIBU to feel uncomfortable if my child invites their father's mistress?

[Zoobaloo]

Looking for perspectives on the following:

Would you attend your adult DC’s wedding if they had invited their father’s mistress? Would it change if the affair was years ago? Would you feel disrespected?

but as I said, if my parents didn't want to invite my husband, I wouldn't go either.

If I invite one of my kids and not their partner, I would expect them to stand up for their partner.

No I don’t think she should be invited. Based on the fact she’s disrespected your mum and called her names. Surely it will be really awkward for her (your dad’s wife) anyway!

Surprised to see the voting- thought it would be the other way round!

What kind of man couldn’t spend a few hours away from his spouse in order to make his child happy at her wedding.?

Ask him that question.

You do not have to invite his wife if you don’t like her (for the reasons given) and don’t want her there. If he doesn’t come it’s on him.

My son will never have to consider this as although his dad is with OW, several years later, she has a good if casual relationship with DS and am fairly certain she has never bad mouthed me. I have never bad mouthed her to DS although now he is an adult he knows she’s not my favourite person! I would leave it up to him and so long as she’s not sat next to me we are good. We can be civil when we meet but will never be friends.

Equaliy, if DS didn’t want her there. I am certain his dad would still go to the wedding.

It seems your dad isn’t prepared to realise his actions have consequences. Although I don’t think your mum should be putting pressure on you not to invite her either.

Based on this then no I wouldn't invite her.

A majority of people, be it any get together would only invite people they liked and you're under no obligation to invite your dad's wife, same as your dad is under no obligation to attend.

He shouldn't even expect you to change your mind. You've invited him, it's on him as to why he's declined, not you.

Both sets of parents, bride, groom, maid of honour and best man all at the top table.

I agreed though that OP probably should not invite her step-mom.

Exactly. Ask him this. Make him say out loud that the woman with whom he broke up your family is more important to him than his own daughter. Make him say that out loud - maybe he’ll hear himself and change his mind.

No he comes on his own or not at all.

when men cheat and children are involved it can affect them to. The Op dad can also not demand who is goes to her wedding and the OP can take sides. If your marriage or you are unhappy , leave don’t have an afafir its that simple. The betrayal is very hard on the person who has been betrayed and sometimes even the children depending on age. my adult childrens relationship with their dad due to his cheating hit rock bottom as they lost their trust in him as well. Op doesn’t even like his wife so she has every right not to invite her

Your parents are both being horrible and childish. They should both WANT to attend for you, however you want then to. However, it seems clear that they both think they are important and you are not, so I guess you will have to choose. I'm so sorry your parents are such selfish brats.

WTF? Did you read the OP? What a horrible nasty post.