Unnecessary comment about my outfit from male member of staff at the school - your thoughts?

[TwatAtSchool91]

I live a stones throw from a secondary school which I have to pass daily on our school run.

A male member of staff stands outside in the morning greeting the kids.

A few months ago he made a comment to me as I walked past him. It was a stupid remark, nothing vulgar or massively offensive, but it has bothered me to the extent I'm now self conscious about what I'm wearing whenever I have to go past him.

The comment he made was "morning Blade" in a mocking tone, both infront of the secondary school kids and my own.

(for reference I was wearing a belted leather trench coat and some black riding style boots)

It wasn't a friendly jibe, he was being a twat. I wouldn't give it much thought if he were a random in the street but he's stood there representing the school 😐

Would you have raised it with the school or not? Do you think it was inappropriate?

He didn’t know you have no sense of humour. You’re the issue, op, not him.

I have to agree. I was thinking about this yesterday, how it’s usually men who make unpleasant comments, whereas women are far more likely to give compliments. If I see someone who looks fabulous, I tell them. I know they don’t need my validation, but I love randomers telling me I look great. Had a lady tell me how fabulous I looked a while back, made my day!

Saying that, I almost think I’d be flattered to be called Blade-stylish and cool, but the teacher was a bit of an idiot to make a comment to a passer-by. Good morning would have been more appropriate.

🤦🏼‍♀️

Just looked up Khaleesi, there were lots of Games of Thrones reels on Insta yesterday. 560 girls named this in 2018. Brilliant!

To complete Strangers? How often do you see this stuff? When did you last see a man shout out to another man, ‘come on love cheer up; it might never happen’?

Do you really need it spelling out?

MN is so weird sometimes. Of course you need to report it! Imagine a 'professional' representing the school behaving like that towards a stranger. If he does it to students too, which he will, he'll be causing all sorts of anxiety and self-conscious behaviour in those kids. Having a sense of humour is fine, but some people, kids especially, are more sensitive and need compliments and support, not jibes. Sadly, a lot of people will just say "it's a joke" and not understand the damage it can do.

One wrong word and you're stuck with a nickname for years. I think people on here forget what it's like to be a kid. And he definitely isn't being a good role model to say that to a stranger, in front of others.

Bring it up but I'd do it nicely. "Can you please remind your staff how their words impact people" and maybe don't identify him.

And after all the word police have killed humour and spontaneity there will be even more widespread alienation, anxiety and depression than there is now.
Trying to stifle people is destructive. Lighten up.

It’s a funny comment and complimentary as Blade is a cool character with a signature look. You’ve interpreted it as mocking when it’s probably just a joking comment with no malice. Let it go.

Also you are insane for wearing that kind of wear in this heat. You really must be Blade.

He sounds like the kind of popular cheeky chappie teacher who has a joke with kids as they walk past and often has nicknames for them - which is not a bad thing and the children usually love it. But he forgot himself and did the same with an adult stranger. I know it was a joke but I don't think it was appropriate (and I was a teacher for nearly 40 years). Also as pp have mentioned, he should be modelling behaviour to the children - and I do wonder if he would have said the same thing to a male stranger.

However it's not worth a complaint certainly - in fact the best thing would have been to have made an equally funny (because it was funny) remark about him - in front of the kids. Easier said than done I know, I was never very good at this either.

im sorry but that’s hilarious actually

Sorry I was too late to edit my post - just wanted to say that if he starts to do it regularly then I think it would be worth a complaint. I doubt that he will though. I wonder if he said it without thinking and then kicked himself afterwards.

<sigh> yes to complete strangers. Yes about their appearance, yes about clothing, yes about other things. Generally done with humour, as in this case, because no one wants to be decked. Do you not have men in your life that you dont know this?

I have never seen my 55 year-old husband or 23y son shouting random comments at strangers of any sex. They are just not that type. We clearly live in different worlds.

And they've never received any comments? No "banter" from a stranger down the pub ever? Did you ask them? Are they particularly nondescript? My dh gets comments on his height and his hat wherever he goes.

Is it the kind of thing that parents wear when they’re taking their kids to school or is it a bit of a stand out? Course you can wear what you want, but if you stand out, people are going to notice

That link it’s hilarious! OP I recommend you give it a good read and see that this is normal human interaction. It happens to everyone! When you wear something that has obvious visual cultural reference in film/TV/music/books, you’ll get comments!

Unless it’s your friends/siblings/partner taking the piss, most comments from strangers will be a positive or neutral character. It’s very different to strangers on the street calling you Quasimodo or Chucky. It’s healthy social banter! Reminds me of that Friends episode where Ross absolutely loved being compared to Indiana Jones. In fact now that I think about it, Friends has dozens of examples where a member of the group has worn something and the rest of the group have joked about it.

You need to get a thicker skin about things like this. The fact that it’s been on your mind a month later and you’ve even made up your username about it is worrying.

@BeetrootLentilsGoatsCheese I also have the yellow Joules raincoat and when I wore it out with wellies once, I got asked by a man once if I had found Moby Dick yet.

I can also think of times when I wore a beret out to try and look chic and almost everyone greeted me with “Bonjour!” In a jokey way. I also wore riding boots with a blazer once to work and was met with comments all day on when I was off to my CountryLife photoshoot. I wore a Leopardprint dress on a night out once and a friend lent me her faux fur coat and got comments out from people that I looked like a mob wife! My boyfriend wore a stupid cowboy hat to a BBQ the other day and got called John Wayne by the cashier at the Coop. It’s all funny and good-natured teasing!

Blade is considered a cool character and quite a sharp (no pun intended) dresser!

Okay okay OP, if you really decide to report this chap to the Head of Department I really want to see your letter. I can do with another laugh.

Can you imagine?

"Dear Head of Department,
I'm writing to report one of your teachers' hideous actions. On 6th March 2026 I was walking past him and a group of students wearing a black leather trechcoat and a pair of black leather boots (I mean myself, not the students) and this man had the audacity of saying to me "morning, Blade".
I am Cc'ing the Ombudsman and the Human Rights Commissioner.
I hope you will ensure prompt arrest and conviction of this criminal who is an embodiment of the patriarchy and the demise of women's rights.
Hysterically,
TwatAtSchool"

Then, please I would also pay to see the HoD's reply.

I’m also surprised. He should feel that he is a role model for the other pupils. Demonstrating that he feels it is ok to comment on other people’s appearance is really accepting bullying.

There is something misogynistic about it I think. I will always remember my DF who was very quick with his “funny comments” to various females. Secretaries when he was at work and “his girls” at Sainsbury’s when he shopped once retired. Then the day a new neighbor cheered him on when he was using his new rollator to go around the block he was furious. He always disliked the poor lady after that. I really struggle with that sort of behavior from men.

How are people so certain he was even speaking to her? It could have been one of those teenagers born 15 years ago, just as 'Morning, Princess' or 'Hiya, Scarlett/Beige/Marlene/Boycie/Nora' could be misinterpreted by somebody who thinks everything is all about them.

I'd rather hear the office conversation 'This one thinks Mike was taking the piss out of her by saying 'morning, Blade' as she walked past. 'Blade Samuels is in Y10, isn't he?'. 'Yup. Twat.'

🤣🤣🤣

A grim look with snarling teeth would have been in character for Blade -- and for the OP, too, by the sounds of it.

It does seem more likely that the teacher said “morning Blade” to the black leather-clad OP striding past the school gates looking as though she was on the way to lay waste to a nest of vampires, than to a year 7 child possibly called Blade.

But the point is that the teacher was a) very funny, b) not in the slightest rude or intimidating, and c) accurate.

The moral of the story is…don’t dress up like a vampire hunter (or a character from ‘Allo ‘Allo) and then fret when someone makes a friendly, funny comment about it.

Or his appearance in 2024's Deadpool and Wolverine.

Or 1973 in a comic book.

He's not particularly tied to one film.

I do agree with your first sentence but I also think that if you wear something that's a bit 'out there', you have to be able to style it out.

I'm very guilty of this. I love striking and eye-catching clothes, but when push comes to shove, I don't always have the confidence to carry them off. There are things in my wardrobe which bear witness to this. Gorgeous things which actually suit me...if I lived a different life and not in a small commuter town!!

Strolling along through Mayfair or some Italian city, no-one would bat an eyelid. My fault entirely. You only get one life and I should be braver but I sometimes can't cope with the attention 'different' clothes attract.