Best friend has made an issue about my DH’s joke over dinner

[Berniewe]

We met friends (another couple) at an Indian restaurant last night. My friend ordered a particularly hot curry which we remarked on. DH made a joke along the lines of ‘that’s the face-sitting off the cards tonight’ to which we both laughed as did my friends husband.

Driving home, I could see she messaged me. I got back to read it and she said she thought DH had set out to humiliate her and she expects an apology.

Is it me or has she gone very OTT here?!

At least OP’s husband, and men of his ilk, have you admirably running to their defence.

The joke is that they can’t engage in cunnilingus in case she shits herself on account of the spicy curry. I didn’t say it’s funny, I just don’t think it’s a capital offence.

It's not about the language, is it? It's the fact he was desperate to bring someone's vagina into the discussion about food.

As I said, weird for it to be the first thing he wants to turn the discussion to.

I’m sorry for a spelling mistake. I went to a state school after all. That’s probably also why I think a crappy joke isn’t divorce-worthy.

Yes calling me a rat for thinking humour is subjective is appropriate, but a joke about poop is a stretch to far.

This isn't quite as funny as the first post, but it's a respectable encore. I reckon you could keep going. Come on, I'm enjoying the giggle.

Oh come on, he’s talking about a sex act.

Do you care about your friend or not?

So you're allowed to be offended by jokes at your expense...

I find it vulgar as does she. You and your husband don’t.
I’m ancient and no longer tolerate things I find offensive, including misogyny, meanness and vulgarity.

You do you, let her do her

I’m not offended at all, I’m just pointing out the irony in criticising one bad joke but not the other.

I wouldn’t dare to assume InterIgnis’s entire character based off one bad joke, and I think they should afford the same benefit to OP DH.

We’ve all put our foot in our mouth before. It doesn’t make us disgusting, just human.

Course you're not, hm hm. I see we've gone from "literal shit jokes are like fine Italian Renaissance art" to the fragility of the human condition, via a totally random route of state school education and divorce and whatever else you threw in there.

What's the terrible objection to "I'm sorry I upset you, I didn't intend to"?

Jokes are funny.

That's just a crude, crass remark and you know it. Your friend didn't like your husband's crudeness.

Keep the vulgarity to yourselves. You know it doesn't play well with others, why subject them to it?

It would be nice for him to apologise as the friend asked for one and it would do no harm to make her feel better about it and draw a line under it, but OP asked if the friend was being OTT, and I think she was, but again, humour is subjective.

It must be, because you think the friend is OTT to ask for an apology after some twat made a joke about shitting on her boyfriend's face, but you were very quick to complain when I laughed at you comparing curry shit jokes to Renaissance art and misspelling Michelangelo.

I don’t remember complaining. I remember making a like joke in response, which is what the friend could have done.

He laughed out loud when I told him about the message - I think his reply was ‘it’s not like I suggested she shouldn’t indulge in any back door action’!

🤢
Revolting

He sounds even worse with every update.

For the record I wouldn't be offended by his attempt at "humour" I would just wonder why he hadn't grown out of this kind of puerile stuff, and probably find excuses not to spend any more time in his company.

This is a pisstake, isn’t it?!

I always feel really stupid after threads like these, like I really invest in them, and OP is clearly just on a wind-up.

No more internet for me tonight

You sound really classy op. I bet you've got leopard skin throws on the bed, a picture of you and your other half "artfully" semi naked on the lounge wall and always wear a bikini to the shops in the summer

And pyjamas in winter 😁

You started making ridiculous comments about how we must look down on you for being state educated (while apparently also being savages who can't appreciate Renaissance art), complaining about a bin pic and all the rest of it. I'm not sure you realise it, but you've been a perfect example of how those who complain about someone not taking a joke are often totally unable to take it when the joke is on them.

Still, point made, and now it's dull.

It’s not exactly dinner talk but I wouldn’t be having a tantrum about it. It’s hardly the crime of the century. There’s so many uptight folk on here!

That’s an opossum.

I think there's a connection here to the thread running about the awful Best Man and his embarrassing, crude speech.

I don't know if it's mainly men - but some people just need to understand context. Of course in some situations crude/scatological/vulgar humour is fine, but they need to think before they open their mouths. Is a restaurant meal with friends (or a wedding!!) the right place for a disgusting joke?

I can find some risque jokes funny in the right context - but not on a nice night out, at a wedding or in mixed company (I mean: various ages and not just close friends, where you don't know know the people well enough to indulge in extreme vulgarity).