Best friend has made an issue about my DH’s joke over dinner

[Berniewe]

We met friends (another couple) at an Indian restaurant last night. My friend ordered a particularly hot curry which we remarked on. DH made a joke along the lines of ‘that’s the face-sitting off the cards tonight’ to which we both laughed as did my friends husband.

Driving home, I could see she messaged me. I got back to read it and she said she thought DH had set out to humiliate her and she expects an apology.

Is it me or has she gone very OTT here?!

So would I, I thought it was pretty funny. I'd laugh if it was about me too. But if she's upset he should say sorry and leave it at that.

To be honest, I took “set out to humiliate” as implying some sort of premeditated aim, and that’s what I thought was a leap. Could easily be my misunderstanding.

Yup, I can't stand this stereotype. DH is a plumbing & heating engineering & one of the most switched on, clever, well read & polite people I know. Sadly, he needs to deal with too many like the OP's husband- ie oiks.

Yeah, that’s not on at all from your husband.

He did set out to humiliate her, it seems, or rather was very casual in his attitude towards whether that would be the effect.

Nah it’s definitely just on Mumsnet. They all act so prim and proper like they are all so perfect but you need to remember half of them haven’t been near a man in years.

21 or 41 or 61 or 81 it’s gross and particularly unacceptable for across the table at a meal shared with friends.

Maybe your husband didn’t set out to embarrass or insult your friend, but if my husband said it to me, I’d be disgusted.

Your husband owes your friend flowers and A MAJOR MEA CULPA.

That is a very personal and crass comment to make to someone with whom you're not having sex. I suspect that your husband wants to shag her, but it isn't reciprocated.

No, you just need to grow up. It sounds like you and your childish husband are well suited.

I'd have hated that. But I wouldn't have texted either of you after the fact.

If I'd been quick enough, I'd simply have given him a look and said "do you have to?" or similar. But few of us are when taken by suprise, so I'd probably just end up just seeing less of him/both of you.

If my DH had mad a gross comment like that to one of my friends I'd have given him a death stare not laughed.y DH would never be so vulgar.

Oh, you're so cool and edgy! How I wish I could be as hip and unruffled as you when my toilet-brained husband upsets my best friend in public! Can I sit with you at lunchtime?

There nothing so common as being common.

That’s not industrial language. That’s a low grade, low value man, language.

She typed on Mumsnet, the irony flying over her head like a Ukrainian drone headed for the Kremlin.

So was my XH , I am over sixty and would have been revolted by that comment forty years ago. Of course you’re not responsible for his behaviour, but I am astonished you think it’s ok.

Thankfully, I have indeed managed to avoid your standard of man, likely due to the fact that’s I’ve never felt compelled to go digging around in the trash for them.

OP - It was a classless comment and not even a funny one.

Ah yes, because OP’s husband is to humor what Michelangelo was to art.

Don’t give Protestants all the credit for recognizing this man for what he is. We wouldn’t appreciate him over in Orthodox-land either (and we too have names for his type). I also doubt the Catholics would particularly appreciate his comedic genius.

It's the school holidays and the teenagers feel free to post on here.

Well if you actually think what he said was funny and she didnt then you probably aren't suited to being friends.

The comment was a bit gross but I'm surprised (quite often) at the level of offence taken on MN.

Your DH needs to read the room in future and know his audience but I don't think he should be apologising, he certainly didn't set out to humiliate your friend.

I was obviously making an exaggeration, I don’t think OP’s DH is on the same level as Michaelangelo, but yet again Mumsnet is taking a bad joke and making it into a breakup level crime and an indictment of both of their characters when all it was was a harmless dirty joke.

How is it a joke? What makes it funny?

Did someone actually compare making a playground level joke about curry shits and face sitting to Michelangelo's David? While misspelling Michelangelo's name?

Oh God. As the kids say, I am dead. That's the funniest thing I've seen on here all week!

It's really crass. I probably wouldn't have texted you after and publically laughed it off.

But I wouldn't go for dinner with you again. I'm picky about who I have dinner with as its a treat and I don't want to cringe and that would be on the veto list. I've vetoed couples for less.

No, I have a sense of humour and another man commenting something like that to me would creep me out. Doesn't mater where your partner was bought up or what job he has, not all women find vulgar sexual jokes at their expense amusing. She's probably also upset her H went along with it and didn't say it was too far at the time.

As for not your comment so nothing to do with you, she probably wants to see you again but not if he behaves like that and she doesn't feel comfortable confronting him herself.