Best friend has made an issue about my DH’s joke over dinner

[Berniewe]

We met friends (another couple) at an Indian restaurant last night. My friend ordered a particularly hot curry which we remarked on. DH made a joke along the lines of ‘that’s the face-sitting off the cards tonight’ to which we both laughed as did my friends husband.

Driving home, I could see she messaged me. I got back to read it and she said she thought DH had set out to humiliate her and she expects an apology.

Is it me or has she gone very OTT here?!

Your husband was being vulgar and way too personal. Yes he should apologise.

Definitely the summer holidays.

It's you, his "joke" was vile, repulsive and inappropriate . It upset your best friend and he should apologise.

It’s a really disgusting, nasty joke. I can’t imagine how he can have thought it was a funny thing to say.

Is it just me as i honestly dont even understand the 'joke'!! I must be missing something - how does having a hot curry impact on someone's vagina!?
I know that having the shits after a hot/spicy meal is common but, never heard this before.

Gross. Just gross.

I also grew up on a rough council estate. But I know how to behave in social settings without making appallingly crude, crass & offensive comments to my friends’ partners.

In language that someone ‘in the trades’ should be able to understand, he was bang out of order & should apologise.

I think it’s really funny! Unless every single joke that night was sex-based that would get annoying, but as a one off, it’s pretty amusing. Wouldn’t say it to a stranger but best friends, you should be able to judge the tone. I just told one of my best friends and she also thought it was hilarious.

You don't think you've done anything wrong nor that your husband has. Fine. But your friend is upset so either apologise and keep the friendship or don't and don't. But as for you h is in the trades etc as an excuse. Behave.

You’re not responsible for his joke. Can’t she contact him direct?

Don’t worry, it can be your DH who apologises, not you.

Your DH upset your best friend with a sexual "joke",your friend who was the but of the "joke " didnt find it funny and was upset (many women would be,it was repulsive by many peoples standards ,if not yours) Stop laughing when your friend is upset and tell your DH he upset her and should apologise.

your husbands joke was out of order

Does he make "jokes" like this to female customers?

It's just MN. Maybe your friend had been spending too much time on here. Tell her to lighten up.

Super gross 🤮 I wouldn't meet up again

With jokes like this you need to know your audience

Sorry but I have quite a few male relatives on building sites and in trades and whilst they banter with each other a lot, you can trust them to be civilised in company.
I can’t see any of them saying such a crude joke to a female friend/relative…. You shouldn’t apologise on his behalf, he should do it himself, if he won’t then remind him if they want to see you again that she doesn’t appreciate his sense of humour and to think before he opens his mouth.

It’s not even funny though is is? He’s in that group of men who think if they say something a bit inappropriate involving sex that they’re just so edgy and hilarious, but everyone else is thinking they are like 12 year olds giggling when someone says ‘boobs’, it’s just a sign of being very immature and socially incompetent. (Which is forgivable for actual 12 year olds but a bit tragic in grown men)

ew You dh sounds like a dick. If he’d of said that to me me and my husband would of told him to shut his crass mouth

Horrid. Yes, you and your husband are unreasonable.

I’d have laughed, but only if my DH knew my best mate really well and knew she wouldn’t be embarrassed by a comment like that. It is super personal, so it would have to be a very long-standing relationship between them.

It was even more than just sexual really: it involved the image of your friend fielding toileting emergencies so there was sort of sex, poo and a very visual image of her involved in both that was invoked.

I think it is probably fair enough she felt he had overstepped, and I think I would ask him to just give a simple apology.

You could argue over whether she should be complaining to you, or him, or at the time or whatever, but since she has suggested an apology, is it simplest to just ask him to do so?

God your standard are less than dog poo on the ground op. Your dh, yourself and her dh are vile. If I were her I would think your dh is scum, you are not a friend ans I would be furious with her own dh. I would expect him to stand up and leave with her rather than laugh at some scumbags joke.

If this is a reverso op you deserve a better friend and spouse.

'She expects an apology' made me laugh

Tell her to get over herself, there's people that are dying 🙄🙄

It was a bit too much but I wouldnt have said anything! Is she usually a bit precious?

I'm reminded of one girl i knew, in my late teens, who got upset because I used the word 'vagina' around men 😩😩😩😩