AIBU To Point Out Opinions You Don’t See Outside Of Mumsnet …?

[D0ntB1t3]

So I have noticed that according to (a lot of posters on) Mumsnet:

-Transphobia is perfectly acceptable.
-Ageism is the worst/most prevalent type of discrimination going on in the uk today.
-Cheating in a relationship is tantamount to murder.
-Enrolling your children in boarding school means you don’t love them.
-Teaching is always a miserable profession, with no exceptions.

What else have you noticed is a very common MN opinion but not one you hear in real life?

I’m not trying to start an argument on the truth of any of these statements, just curious what others have noticed.

That pooling all finances into one joint pot is the only way to ‘do marriage’.

IRL I don’t know anyone who does this. Instead there is a joint account in which both parties pay into, to cover shared costs. Each party keeps their main account where their paycheck is paid and where all discretionary spend takes place. Like fully grown, financially independent adults.

Related to the above: I also don’t know anyone who is a SAHP or aspires to be one. I can’t think of a single person who would willingly make themselves financially dependent on someone else. It would be unthinkable. Just not a thing in my social circle at all.

That everyone co-sleeps (whereas back in the real world our wains are sleeping (and always have) in their own beds/rooms.

Are you serious? I hope this is a wind up. I don't know anyone that would do something like that. I would report to SS immediately.

It’s just what I’ve noticed, I made it clear I didn’t want to argue about the statements.

I went to boarding school myself but it was my choice, I wasn’t sent off, so my experience will be slightly different. I really enjoyed it, I would never choose it for my DC but would allow them to go if they wanted.

Mumsnet also has a lot of bots, to be fair.

OMG you’re right, I should’ve thought of that one! Safe sleep was so so important to us.

Yes you’re probably right, but regardless of the definition transphobia is very prevalent on here.

Genuinely, which ones? I’m a bit on that one. I think even if this was the case, Madeline McCann’s abduction would have put paid to it.

Everything

In real life, people love holidays
love to travel
celebrate birthdays
love weddings and parties
have teens who can stay home alone from 14-15
have primary school kids who happily go to playdates, sleepovers and holidays with friends

No one believes a relationship is doomed because someone once cheated with their partner at the time, years ago
I have never heard someone saying that the relationship wouldn't work because the man is marrying the OW, or vice-versa

In real life, woman think as men as their equal, as friends, partners, generally caring and loving, not as hateful creatures whose only goal is to hurt, abuse and humiliate women

In real life, people are quite happy to be hosted by friends or family for a weekend, try different food and adapt when staying in another bed

I don't recognise any of the opinions I see on here frankly, or very little 😂

Why do you think SS would be interested?

I’ve stayed in several family hotels where they have provided monitors for this service. In the past (and still now) a lot of hotels offered a ‘baby listening service’ - that was far dodgier…! In my example you can see and hear the baby yourself, and so respond if there’s any issue far quicker!

You’re just sitting downstairs, with a baby monitor, looking at your baby, having dinner.

As I say - Mumsnet seems to think this is criminal (point proven here), but I find in real life it’s more unremarkable.

The people on MN who are so aghast with this don’t go to these types of hotels. I’ve been to many of these and literally the whole point is going for dinner!

And no it’s not in another building as PP are suggesting.

It isn’t necessarily criminal (hence the McCanns were never charged) but in the admittedly very unlikely event of an abduction, announcing your intent to leave your baby alone and unsupervised to the hotel staff is pretty darn stupid.

I really, honestly don’t know anyone who does this and I am fairly laid back about such matters as a rule! I can quite see it might have been a ‘thing’ once but I’m fairly certain it isn’t now!

What strikes me most on MN is the readiness to advise posters to DTB, often for fairly mundane and forgivable “sins”.

This is how I do marriage actually! We don’t use our personal accounts at all, money gets transferred out to relevant places and then pooled in the joint account. This is probably due to the fact that my partner is a SAHD and not financially independent right now.

It’s not something I would recommend to anyone just about to get married though, we have only ever had ‘our money’ and have been together most of our lives, so we know we can trust each other. I wouldn’t do it like this under other circumstances.

But while it isn’t strictly speaking an opinion, the prevailing view that SS will leap in and instantly remove children who are being parented in a way a MN user does not approve of is rather tedious.

I don't think this has been remotely a normal thing to do since Madeline McCain. I remember my parents telling me to do it when my eldest wasxa baby 20+ years ago, and having essentially our first argument about how I was parenting differently to them. They definitely thought it was fine in the 1970s, but views and times changed on this one decades ago.

You would report to social services that some people eat their dinner on another floor while a baby is asleep in their bedroom?

Cheating in a relationship is tantamount to murder
No one says it's tantamount to murder.

I’ve heard all those opinions in real life apart from comparing adultery to murder

I don't see this, maybe occasionally by a very exasperated poster. Most of what I read is in agreement that Trans people have rights enshrined in law in the same way as other people with protected characteristics. Not may people actually dispute that. The issue is where Trans people think their rights trump the rights of women, who are also protected by law. We need to find a way forward where neither Trans people OR women face discrimination and disadvantage, but we do not find that way forward by trampling on women's rights. I honestly don't know any female who does not believe that Trans people should be discriminated against. I just know that women want to hold onto the hard fought for protections that they have.

Obviously we all exist in real life but for whatever reason I don’t meet people with these opinions or that are willing to express these opinions at least.

Madeline McCann isn’t even comparable, that was multiple buildings away on a full complex.
The hotels that offer baby listening or baby monitors generally have in the region of 20-40 bedrooms.

I agree with you totally, you expressed the point perfectly, however most on the FWR board or whatever it’s called aren’t so tolerant. Pretty much every trans AMA is full of very hateful people.

Madeleine McCann was of another era yes - I believe there was no baby monitor, a window was open, they were elsewhere in the resort. They were just going back occasionally to check on them.

I wouldn’t do that, it wouldn’t feel safe.

I am describing 2026, where you can have a video monitor live streaming the whole time, so you can see what’s going on at all times, in the same building, obviously ensuring the room is secure.

I wouldn’t do it in all hotels I’ve stayed in, but I also don’t think it’s always hugely risky or an issue.

"Enrolling your children in boarding school means you don’t love them."
Id say most working class people would think this. Not that we could afford it but neither myself nor my children would have coped with being apart.