AIBU To Point Out Opinions You Don’t See Outside Of Mumsnet …?

[D0ntB1t3]

So I have noticed that according to (a lot of posters on) Mumsnet:

-Transphobia is perfectly acceptable.
-Ageism is the worst/most prevalent type of discrimination going on in the uk today.
-Cheating in a relationship is tantamount to murder.
-Enrolling your children in boarding school means you don’t love them.
-Teaching is always a miserable profession, with no exceptions.

What else have you noticed is a very common MN opinion but not one you hear in real life?

I’m not trying to start an argument on the truth of any of these statements, just curious what others have noticed.

The trans issue only matters online. People in the real world aren’t bothered about trans people and if they are, they need to find something better to do with their lives.

All those things could happen whilst you go to the toilet or take a shower at home whilst a child is sleeping. I definitely ate my lunch in the garden whilst my dc were asleep upstairs…

All vegans make it their life's work to 'rant' and be self righteous.

Any nuance of any kind, in any situation counts for absolutely nothing.

London is either the epicentre of the universe or drug ridden hell hole (depending on who you speak to, also see above)

My parents did this (mother was higher earner). And my mother's parents. (He was higher but not by much). I clearly remember as a teen reading some newspaper article about the different, complicated sounding ways couples arranged their finances and saying to my mother that I'd always assumed their way was the norm for married people. Was amazed to learn it wasn't. It still seems odd to me.

I don’t have children so don’t have any skin in the game in the whole babies in hotels debate, but two things: 1) No one said “going out for dinner”, several posters have clarified this is dinner in the same hotel/building and that they are not talking about huge resorts but small establishments. 2) a child could be sick and choke on their vomit and you would not notice, if they were asleep in your home and you were downstairs in the kitchen / in the garden hanging laundry, could they not?

Do some parents really live their lives with this level of caution and anxiety and literally never leave their child’s side, lest the child choke/stop breathing, for whatever reason?

The ageism one is interesting, because the MN general population is ageing, and almost all the "ageism" accusations go one way.

But we all have an age, and we all age at the same speed, and you see quite a bit of ageism directed at younger folk on here.

Do some parents really live their lives with this level of caution and anxiety and literally never leave their child’s side, lest the child choke/stop breathing, for whatever reason?

Ni they don’t but they do live in a perpetual state of judgement constantly judging other parents & therefore feeling better about themselves.

@TheNinkyNonkyIsATardis I’ve said this so many times. The average MNs user is fairly old (it’s not a young site) & there is so much ageism against younger people but that’s not ageism apparently.

Related to ageism, I really don’t like the instant accusations of lying when someone dare comment that they think that they look younger than their years.

Heaven forbid a woman have confidence in her looks and how well she is ageing.

It also ignores the fundamental fact that believing one looks younger than they are confers the exact same benefits as actually, objectively, looking younger than one’s years, in terms of self-confidence etc. Whether or not one is deluded is completely irrelevant - the end result is exactly the same.

Ive just remembered a poster telling me I was selfish & wrong to work p/t despite earning well & not receiving any benefits. Apparently I should work f/t because everyone who can should & I was a shirker.

Complete opposite is true. Mumsnet is rampant with transphobia. Outside, people are far more accepting

Wow, I haven’t ever heard of anyone even thinking of doing this since Madeline McCann!

No it’s not. And you can’t say ‘regardless of the definition’. The definition is, by definition, what defines if transphobia exists or not. If you think saying TW are not women is transphobic, you will see ‘transphobia here. If you think transphobia requires believing it’s ok to deny trans identified people goods, services or employment then you do not see transphobia here. The Latter is how UK law defines discrimination against gender identity.

I’ve done both my marriages like this - joint pot all the way.

Not had a problem. 🤷‍♀️

You must never leave a baby to cry.

It's normal to be breastfeeding a child that's over a year old.

I saw a baby in a restaurant and was making small talk with the parents. I thought the child was 12-18 months old (it’s fair to say I don’t come across many babies in my day to day life) and it turned out to be 4 months old! 😂 Anyway, your post made me realise I must never have seen a baby over 1 year old be breastfed in my whole life. The only babies I ever see being breastfed are tiny and therefore must be a few weeks/months old.

Absolutely awful thing to do!

So many people have keys to that room, not just you. Before we get to the double booking of that room by reception and they hand out another set of keys! Happens all the time.

Criminals are opportunists, always important to remember. And I wouldnt give then the opportunity with my baby.

I dont know anyone who thinks it's ok to leave a baby in a hotel room, often several floors up and go to dinner several floors away. Also - what if there was a fire?

It’s a global standard that house guests remove shoes. And yes, the words “global standard” were used in one post.

I do think that boarding school is bad for children. It gave us the completely soulless Boris Johnson, for a start.

I know. Shocking.

I’ve stayed in many and have never heard of this.

But criminals aren’t checking into hotels in the hope they get keys to a room with a baby in are they? I can’t think of any cases in the UK where a family has had a dc taken from a hotel room?

The people most likely to harm your dc are ones you know. And a fire is far more likely at home.

Of course not. Becaus le that would be planned.

But when an opportunity presents itself that they were not expecting..... that's what opportunist means

ETA - reiterate the point that you have no idea who the staff is, the janitors, cleaners.... you have zero idea who the hell has a key to that room. Awful people move about in society.

I work on the line "If this happened could i forgive myself"

Interested in examples of agism towards young people. Isn’t it the same as “racism towards white people”? In other words, not a thing?

@BiteSizedLifeso give me an example of an opportunist doing this?

It was a bit judgemental/condescending using the wording of it is unthinkable, we are growns up etc - implying those who share money aren’t. That’s great for you if you’re happy with it, lots of ways to make marriage work. For us, it feels a bit silly to take turns paying for items when it’s all our money. What I was pointing out is that you think it’s your reality but unless people have explicitly told you that they manage finances like you do, maybe people don’t. If someone in irl told me what you said, I would say oh that’s nice and change the subject - I’m not going to say my husband earns significantly more than you would think and he puts it all into a joint account because he thinks men who don’t aren’t fully invested in their marriage. I would sound like such AH!!! Maybe everyone in your circle is very explicit but I would only know a handful of very close friends way of managing finances within their marriage. People often don’t say IRL what they do themselves because they don’t want to sound like they are judging other choices - someone tells me their child is addicted to the iPad I make sympathetic noises and make some reading suggestions - I don’t say I don’t have that problem because my kids don’t have them!