DH trying to force oral

[whyohwhybrainrots]

Ok before I write this I know there will be a lot of leave him comments but this isn’t why I’m writing it I just needed to rant! We have a lot of other things going on at the moment which would make leaving impossible currently. It’s something to think about down the line.

So me and DH were having some ‘us time’ the other night which is very rare (few times a year) due to DCs health needs and that taking up lots of our time. I was already not really in the mood due to him asking in a vulgar way (“do you want to Fxxx”) but just let that slide. He then gets on top and whilst he’s on his knees and I’m lying down he kind of shuffles up the bed and says “oh just a little suck first” I said no and tried to pull him back down to kiss etc, he then kept saying just go on only a little bit and kept laughing and trying to get his penis closer to my face. At this point I had said no twice, I then sat up, pushed him back and very forcefully said “I said no!” . He then acted like it hadn’t happened and we carried on.

not that it matters but I’m a survivor of child SA and so I can get triggered easily by things like this. I just think why do men feel like women would want to do this all the time, like it’s their right to make us? I’m sick of men thinking women are just objects to satisfy them. How would he feel if I’d done the same thing demanding oral when he said no?

like I said this isn’t about leaving as that isn’t currently possible, it’s just a rant about how men think that women can just be used!

😆

A certain type of man maybe, not men in general.
I have been married decades, had a few relationships previously. I have given and recieved oral sex many times and enjoyed both. I have never known a man who didn't enjoy both. I have also never known a man who, if I ever refused, no reason needed or given, would have forced or wheedled for it.

My thoughts exactly. I know you don’t want advice as such OP, and just want to rant about ‘men’ in general. But this isn’t acceptable behaviour from any man, even if, especially if, that man is your husband.

I’d find a time to sit him down for a serious conversation when the DCs are out/in bed and outline exactly how the situation made you feel, right from the crude beginnings to the feeling of having to continue after he made you feel vulnerable and objectified.

Unless he’s 100% empathetic and understanding, tell him he will not be getting access to you sexually again. He’s used your vulnerable position to push your boundaries and that is not a safe person to have sex with.

A strange post..

'What OP has experienced is pretty standard. All these LIBERAL MINDED WOMEN who believe consent is the be all and end all of sexual relationships live in cloud cuckoo land. Consent is simply not a stand alone workable solution in the real world! '

• is it common among women you know for their husbands to treat them like this? I don't think is 'standard' and nor should women put up with it. Why should they?

'an inability to use their imagination or curiosity outside of their own narrow world view'- maybe they've recognised that this behaviour is abusive and the OP needs to remove herself as soon ad possible? Plenty of pps know that it can be extremely hard to leave but some things should not be tolerated.'

'Normal women negotiate and get by; often indulging their partners with oral sex that they’d far rather not be practising. ' - why should they do that, though?

It's weird you say women should go along with oral they dislike but then say you disagree with the normalisation of oral sex...

Last 30 years or so? - oral sex began to be more common post-1960s, it wasn't suddenly mainstreamed in 1996.

I agree it shouldn't be essential if people don't want to do it but clearly many do. And it's not brainwashing to point out, as pps do, that receptive oral sex helps a large number of women orgasm, and is the only way for some to do so.

This, exactly.

It's interesting you mention religion as the pp you quote says on a recent thread that she's converting to Catholicism (though in a post from the same month she claims to be an atheist, oddly), which might explain some of her views in that post.

Catholicism doesn't advocate women being pressured into sex, AFAIK, but sometimes people who convert become more hardline than average adherents.

Women who use religion to beat down other women are the worst of the worst. If the PP is the Catholic that she claims to be, she will know that Jesus was very good friends with Mary Magdalene, Joanna, and Susanna, and believed in their empowerment.

ca-sixty-nine

I’d say it’s entirely normal, to judge by the general quality of husband encountered here.

Never been into bothering about giving you pleasure, you mean.

You missed 50% of the point there. Blowjobs were obtained, on tap, from their mistresses.

Your last two words says it all

Point is, respect for the wife, humiliation and contempt for the mistress. I missed no point.

It reads as if he didn't respect her wishes straight away. He still insisted after she said no.

I blame porn almost all porn has some sort of oral very unrealistic and teaches women that they need to suck it to make it hard 🤢

I’m with you

Get a big dildo, kneel on his chest, forced him to suck it. Then choke him. Then start looking at divorce.

Is oral sex perverse or for dogs?

That's an awful experience. @whyohwhybrainrots

He sounds wholly unpleasant ....

And the laugh emoji too! 🤣🤮🤣

🤢🤮

Yes women they didn’t respect…

You don’t need a sex manual to explain why someone doesn’t like having someone’s knob in their gob

🤢🤮 here you go

Men need to except not every woman wants a knob shoved in their gob it’s literally made not date because every man asks 🤮

ill happily be a “prude” if that means no having to suffer a fucking knob in my mouth