DH trying to force oral

[whyohwhybrainrots]

Ok before I write this I know there will be a lot of leave him comments but this isn’t why I’m writing it I just needed to rant! We have a lot of other things going on at the moment which would make leaving impossible currently. It’s something to think about down the line.

So me and DH were having some ‘us time’ the other night which is very rare (few times a year) due to DCs health needs and that taking up lots of our time. I was already not really in the mood due to him asking in a vulgar way (“do you want to Fxxx”) but just let that slide. He then gets on top and whilst he’s on his knees and I’m lying down he kind of shuffles up the bed and says “oh just a little suck first” I said no and tried to pull him back down to kiss etc, he then kept saying just go on only a little bit and kept laughing and trying to get his penis closer to my face. At this point I had said no twice, I then sat up, pushed him back and very forcefully said “I said no!” . He then acted like it hadn’t happened and we carried on.

not that it matters but I’m a survivor of child SA and so I can get triggered easily by things like this. I just think why do men feel like women would want to do this all the time, like it’s their right to make us? I’m sick of men thinking women are just objects to satisfy them. How would he feel if I’d done the same thing demanding oral when he said no?

like I said this isn’t about leaving as that isn’t currently possible, it’s just a rant about how men think that women can just be used!

I’m also a CSA victim so yes I know something. She said NO that’s it no buts. The NSPCC taught my generation boundaries and consent something you sound like you’re laking hun x.

I've already clearly said that forcing a sex act on someone is wrong.

Look…you are very young and haven’t experienced much in life—you’ve been an adult for a year. I’ve been married for as long as you’ve been on Earth. Yes, we know that men don’t “need” oral to get an erection, and OP’s H is a dick. We’ve all agreed this. Yes, women’s’ bodies are different re: orgasm, and my DH gives me oral. It does not make me a porn-copying pick-me to reciprocate in my marriage of 2 decades. I don’t get my ideas or beliefs from porn—I actually listen to a podcast of a female sex therapist. As adults in very long-term marriages will know—relationships are hard and couples should always be putting in the work on their marriage—something you won’t have experienced as a 19 year-old. And no, I didn’t, nor would I advise young women to, give random guys that they’re dating BJs—that can become a pick-me dance which ends in disappointment. I’ve only ever done this with my DH. You are very young, and know precisely 0 about decades-long marriages and intimacy, and the give-and-take and wanting to give reciprocal pleasure that goes on in long partnerships. It has zero to do with wanting to act out a porn scene. The sex I have with my DH looks NOTHING like what I have seen in porn—I’ve never seen sensual love making in porn—only pounding, which is a real turn-off. Your one year of adulthood does not give you the breadth of knowledge to advise women more than twice your age on how long-term sexual relationships work.

You completely missed my point I never said I know everything but neither do you I was just stating a fact I don’t care about your marriage if you’re happy than that’s fine but you can’t expect everyone to know that

Then don’t say I know Jack shit just because I’m 20 years old . I may not be the brightest bulb in the box but I do know that assuming someone doesn’t know much just they are young is very shallow. No one knows everything I don’t know everything but I do know what it’s like to go through certain things that many people don’t go through in an entire lifetime but thanks for making assumptions about me when you don’t know me at all.

It was you who pointed out your age. Also, keep repeating the same thing is hardly helping the OP, it just seems you like to keep repeating the same thing.🤔