To feel embarrassed I don't have any bridesmaids

[Snappythecrocodile1]

Fiancé has 3 groomsmen so would look odd if I didn't have any wouldn't it? I've been a bridesmaid twice, in 2015 and 2019 but whilst I'm still friends with those two women, I wouldn't say we're close friends, not through my lack of trying. One of them has a 13 month-old daughter I've met once, the other has been with her new partner around 7 years and I've met him once. I couldn't tell you much around their day-to-day lives, see them once a year, twice at best even though we all live about an hour from each other.

So it sounds maybe petty but I feel odd asking them? I no longer consider them close friends so kind of think it'd just be asking them for the sake of it? I've got other female friends, wouldn't say super close friends and I've known them for about 3 years so would it be weird to ask? I genuinely have no idea.
No sisters. Many people have this down from day 1 and have that 'ride or die' friend they ask, I just don't have really close friends and feel a bit embarrassed because people keep asking me questions about my 'bridesmaids and MOH'
Assuming I've got any! It's a registry office and evening reception btw. I don't know what to do!

Agree that you don't need a bridesmaid, but a little one as bridesmaid or flower girl (or boy) can be inexpensive - lots of nice off the peg dresses - and fun. It would be a treat for them, and you need to feel that this is your day too, so if it would help you to feel happier on the day, go for it. You don't have to balance out his groomsmen with adults (Though I did see someone online who had her nana as her best friend/bridesmaid, which was fun!)

And then have a think how you can build up friendships in future. It's easy in the whirl of work/relationship/wedding planning to not worry too much about them, especially if old friends are drifting away/going cold on you. Time to build a new team around you, which will take a bit of effort, but be worth it, long-term.

At the recent weddings I have been to all the bridesmaids were children, either daughters or nieces. I had my younger sisters and sister in law. I didn't consider asking friends.

Your wedding, you decide what you want, no one else
Ignore any social pressure, ignore that people 'might think it looks odd'
It's your day, your choice

Have 'bridesmen' if your friends are male! Have a best man/woman and a couple who act as ushers!

Bridesmaids dresses don’t cost thousands for one or two of them. Equally if you can’t afford to pay for dresses probably best you don’t have any bridesmaids anyway to save costs

I didn’t have any adult bridesmaids either. Three main reasons:

1. i didn’t want to choose between my friends
2. i definitely didn’t want to dress my friends esp as none of them look remotely alike
3. The women in my family tend not to

I had my 8 yo cousin and the groom (now exh) ‘s 13 yo niece instead which was lovely. My oldest friend was a witness together with the best man.

I don’t think it’s any reflection on you not to have them!

Princess Anne had just one small bridesmaid. Nobody thought it was odd or that she didn't have any friends. Do you (or your fiance) have a little niece or daughter of a friend who you could ask.

Tell people that you didn’t feel you needed to have bridesmaids as you’re pretty chilled: you didn’t want a hen-do organising and you wanted friends to enjoy the day as guests. Tbh, I think most people understand what it’s like to bridesmaid for a Bridezilla so if you suggest you’re just a drama-free zone and want people to have fun that sounds like a good way to do it.

Do you have grandmas? I love the way some people include them as bridesmaids!

No hen and no bridesmaids here. Wedding was absolutely bliss and marriage is delightful.

You do you OP. X

I didn't have proper bridesmaids, mainly because I didn't want to either buy their outfits or expect them to pay for outfits of my choosing. I had two friends with me on the day who helped me get ready but they didn't have matching outfits, and they didn't walk down the aisle or anything like that. And DH actually technically had 3 best men, and it didn't look weird.

I had a registry office wedding and didn't have any, don't worry about it. Noone commented on it, and even if they are thinking about it they won't say anything to you so you'll never know. Theres not much for bridesmaids to do at a registry wedding either so their absence won't be obvious like it might be in a church with a massive aisle.

3 dresses is hardly thousands. But up to you

have 1/2/3 bm and you pay for their dresses

assume you have a colour theme

so something like this £50 each

lots of colours

amzn.eu/d/0c7LCA5L

My son has been an attendant for females friends. He wears a suit with a shirt that matches bridesmaids dresses in colour.
I think it would be lovely to ask your future SIL The worst that could happen is shevwould refuse, but she probably wont,and at least you will still know the people in your photos in years to come.

I thought ushers stood at the door and guided guests to the correct seats.

I missed that it was a registry office wedding. A best man and 1 bridesmaid is quite enough then. I would get fiancee to choose 1 friend and ask SIL in that case. Though simplicity was the idea of registry office weddings.

Any little girls in the family? To be a pretty little flower girl? Cousins daughter. Otherwise don't worry about it. Bridesmaids really aren't a requirement.. You don't have to do anything you don't want to, it's your wedding!

It is a bit old fashioned to have "sides" of the church. I mean if you met both the bride and groom as a couple whose side do you sit on at their wedding? It isn't like you knew the groom first. We have been to weddings where there are reserved signs on the end of the pews and the families know that Aunty Claire is sitting on the 3rd row back. No one saw us to our seats.

I have seen a lot of US weddings and they have matching numbers of ushers and bridesmaids as they leave in pairs to walk down the aisle after the bride and groom or they enter the wedding venue as a pair usually accompanied by some co-ordinated dance or moves.

You could have one of your male friends. Why not ?
X

Ask the two that you were bridesmaids for and his older sister. You don't have to do much apart from sorting dresses/dress colour.
It's fine.
You were bridesmaids for them both and not that long ago. The older sister can be chief bridesmaid/maid or matron of honour.
Done.

Bridespersons?

I didn’t have bridesmaids. With my two closest friends, one signed the register and the other did a reading.

Just want to say that I sympathize, OP. I’m from a family where all of my cousins who got married had absolutely heaps of people to be attendants, and I had a hard time scrounging up four bridesmaids to go with my husband’s four groomsmen. (That was a church wedding in the US, though, not a registry office in the UK.) It’s tough when everyone assumes you’re going to have bridesmaids and you really don’t have many or any people close enough to fill that role.