To feel embarrassed I don't have any bridesmaids

[Snappythecrocodile1]

Fiancé has 3 groomsmen so would look odd if I didn't have any wouldn't it? I've been a bridesmaid twice, in 2015 and 2019 but whilst I'm still friends with those two women, I wouldn't say we're close friends, not through my lack of trying. One of them has a 13 month-old daughter I've met once, the other has been with her new partner around 7 years and I've met him once. I couldn't tell you much around their day-to-day lives, see them once a year, twice at best even though we all live about an hour from each other.

So it sounds maybe petty but I feel odd asking them? I no longer consider them close friends so kind of think it'd just be asking them for the sake of it? I've got other female friends, wouldn't say super close friends and I've known them for about 3 years so would it be weird to ask? I genuinely have no idea.
No sisters. Many people have this down from day 1 and have that 'ride or die' friend they ask, I just don't have really close friends and feel a bit embarrassed because people keep asking me questions about my 'bridesmaids and MOH'
Assuming I've got any! It's a registry office and evening reception btw. I don't know what to do!

Nobody even knew we were even getting married before my first wedding, apart from my fiancé' s brother and a close mutual friend who were acting as witnesses.
We had a wonderful day.

I don't understand this social pressure nonsense about weddings. Why do other people's opinions matter ?

I honestly feel like this is an American thing for each groomsman to have a partner bridesmaid. You are also using the term groomsman instead of the English usher.

Just don't have bridesmaids. To be brutally honest the main people who care about weddings are the bride and groom. Most guests do not give a shit about all the other choices you spent hours deliberating over. You don't have the money for dresses and hair and makeup so stop doing what other people may expect you to do and just get married with no bridesmaids.

My friend's daughter got married 10 years ago, she spent the entire saved house deposit on her marvellous wedding. The only people talking about that wedding today are her and her husband. My friend is absolutely gutted they are still living in shitty rented houses, priced out of an area they could have afforded to buy in 10 years ago.

You don't need bridesmaids. And what is this modern trend for multiple "groomsmen"? What do they actually do?
All you need are two witnesses - we had a best man and a "best woman". Or you could each ask a parent or sibling to be your witness.

Respectfully, OP, if it doesn't usually bother you that you don't have any close friends, or not enough to do anything about, it seems to me quite mad that suddenly you're bothered, because other people will see you don't have any close friends? I mean, wasn't this something you talked to your fiancé about before you chose his three groomsmen? I assume he's noticed you don't have close friends, if you're together long enough to be getting married?

I wouldn’t have any bridesmaids either when I get married.
With a gun to my head, I could pick someone but I wouldn’t necessarily want a bridesmaid 😂
Just don’t have any, if your husband-to-be feels disappointed or let down by that, that’s an important conversation to have with him before marrying him.

I agree it's odd to have 3 Groomsmen full stop, particularly at a registry office wedding. Cancel that down to 1.

I didn't have them. DH had 3 groomsmen. I have lots of cousins and friends I could've asked, but just didn't want the faff!

We had a registry office wedding & didn't have a best man or bridesmaids. Isn't that kind of the point of getting married at a registry office? That you don't want a wedding with all the fuss & extra bits.

I obviously do speak to other people except him...
It's not that easy at all to "just deepen friendships" especially when they're 'so busy' all the time..

Are there no children in the family? People often love to see their child in wedding gear, plus it’s probably cheaper to have a child as no hair, makeup etc! There’s also many more reasonably priced outfit options these days.

@Snappythecrocodile1 My DD is having 1 bridesmaid. Her sister. She might have asked a school friend or two, but didn’t. If you have no female friends and no little girls in any family, don’t have any. We have no DDs in the family but DD has friends. I think your husband to be can do what he wants. No one tots up groomsmen vs bridesmaids! I have to say you are unusual in having no female friend from any aspect of your life! Do your male friends not have female partners? It’s definitely useful to have someone to help on the day other than your mum.

Could you ask your cousins to stand in the place of bridesmaids but let them wear whatever they want and do their own hair etc
So they're basically like a guest but they stand with the groomsmen? Or do the groomsmen have partners who could stand with them, same deal where they wear what they want etc

I'm not saying you have to or should, just a suggestion as you seemed worried about the optics.

I didn't have any either because it's unnecessary imo.
The only person who commented was my mum because she wanted my sister to be a bridesmaid but I soon put her right as it was my wedding 😁

I would agree that it can be Faff and an expense to sort out dresses / hair / make up for bridesmaids.
Have you any young nieces that might want to be a bridesmaid? Otherwise id say save your money for something else.

You don't need to give in to social expectations. Have you seen some of the threads on here about bridesmaids? It gets batshit. The expense gets crazy.
Be your own person.
Get married because you want to get married, not for what the pictures look like.

What I'm trying to say is I have friends who are women but not like 'best friend' style relationships.

So what's the point? Just for the pictures?

Thanks for all the suggestions and encouragement. I'll try to make a decision by this week.

I didn't have any despite having close friends. I just didn't want any. Dh had a best man which wad his brother. No groomsmen.

I decided based on who I wanted with me the morning of the wedding while I was getting ready and did include a male friend (he wore the same as the ushers which was just any suit and a specific tie). I think it’s absolutely fine to have none!

That's not a problem. Plenty of pp are of the opinion that it's not necessary to have bridesmaids. It always sounds like a lot of trouble and expense to me.
Have the wedding you want.

OP she would probably secretly be delighted to be asked. You can always tell her you won’t be offended if she says no.

Having three “groomsmen” at a registry office wedding will look far more odd than not having bridesmaids! All the weddings I’ve been to in registry offices just had the bride and groom.

If you are that bothered you could ask your cousins? If you only see them at events, well this is an event!
What are you wearing, they could just wear their wedding guest outfits, if you'll invite them anyway? They don't have to be in full on bridesmaids dresses do they, and why would you pay for their makeup and hair?
If you want them in a bridesmaids dress, buy them online from Stacees or similar.
I'm the same, if I got married again I would have no-one to ask either!

You don't need bridesmaids, I didn't have any adult ones although I did have my two youngest nieces (4 & 5) as flower girls. I drove myself to the hairdresser and then to the beautician for make-up on the morning of the wedding. Arrived at the venue a couple of hours before the wedding and my mum and sister helped me with my dress and veil, zero stress.