To feel embarrassed I don't have any bridesmaids

[Snappythecrocodile1]

Fiancé has 3 groomsmen so would look odd if I didn't have any wouldn't it? I've been a bridesmaid twice, in 2015 and 2019 but whilst I'm still friends with those two women, I wouldn't say we're close friends, not through my lack of trying. One of them has a 13 month-old daughter I've met once, the other has been with her new partner around 7 years and I've met him once. I couldn't tell you much around their day-to-day lives, see them once a year, twice at best even though we all live about an hour from each other.

So it sounds maybe petty but I feel odd asking them? I no longer consider them close friends so kind of think it'd just be asking them for the sake of it? I've got other female friends, wouldn't say super close friends and I've known them for about 3 years so would it be weird to ask? I genuinely have no idea.
No sisters. Many people have this down from day 1 and have that 'ride or die' friend they ask, I just don't have really close friends and feel a bit embarrassed because people keep asking me questions about my 'bridesmaids and MOH'
Assuming I've got any! It's a registry office and evening reception btw. I don't know what to do!

I would say it’s odd as he has 3 and you will have none

asking sister may break the ice /make you closer

my brother got married and she had 5 and I wasn’t asked. It would have been lovely to be asked - bride didn’t have any sisters or cousins. They were all her friends

most people would be delighted to asked - dresses dont need to be costly but you do need to pay for them

You don't "need" bridesmaids anyway, but both my weddings were registry offices and bridesmaids were definitely not necessary.

Do it your way, it's your wedding.

I think your dh having three men fussing around at the front would look more odd than you not having bridesmaids!

But also, you are overthinking the role. If you want one or two bridesmaids, just ask a couple of friends or family members. Explain you are having a small wedding but you've thought about it and would like bridesmaids - would they like to do it? And they will be delighted. It doesn't have to be a big, supportive role. Think about some of the threads on here where someone has been a bridesmaid to a completly over the top, controlling bride - no one likes it!

Why is it inconsiderate of him just because he has friends he can ask? No one says it’s inconsiderate when brides have 5 bridesmaids and the groom has 1 best man

I second having brides men if you have close male friends. They can each just wear similar smart suits and sit with you and have a drink in the morning as you get ready (just having a nice friendly chat rather than faffing with your makeup or whatever), then wait with you until you're going down the aisle.

But TBH I would probably not bother, unless you would like the company, who cares. Just say 'nah i didn't fancy having bridesmaids, I'd prefer to just have family around me before I go down the aisle and then have my new DH with me after that).' Don't feel pressured. My friend walked herself down the aisle (also what I did but in a v small wedding!) and her older relatives were aghast, but most people were all saying good on her. Her dad was a horrible man and she felt she needed no man to hand her over. You can be the same if you want, steong and independent!

We got married in a (nice) pub and I didn't have bridesmaids although DH didn't have groomsmen either. In your situation, if anyone asks, I might say "It would be difficult to ask one or two without upsetting others so it was easier not to have any."

I didn't have bridesmaids. I really don't see the point of them.
I had a flower girl and a pageboy and it was super cute.

I had to pay towards my dress when I was a bridesmaid. I don't have thousands spare to be throwing around on multiple dresses.

Save yourself the hassle of getting them fitted for dresses and just don't have any bridesmaids. No one will think twice about it.

I'd flip this on its head and ask why the groom has so many groomsmen? Time was when there'd be a best man only. I remember when the then Prince of Wales married Diana he had both of his brothers and that seemed to start a fashion for having more.

OP I would ask 2 of the friends you’ve know for 3 years or even just 1 of them. I’ve been to 2 weddings where the bride had 1 bridesmaid (one had her colleague of 18 months) and 1 wedding had no bridesmaids but had 2 toddler flower girls. Are there any small children in your life who would like to dress up as ‘princesses’? Are you planning on having a hen do?

I didn't have any bridesmaids @Snappythecrocodile1 though my DH only had a best man up there with him.
I didn't want to pay for dresses, hair etc and wanted to keep the wedding morning as simple as possible.
It was great and more importantly, actually relaxing!
Our wedding was mainly family though as we both come from huge ones and again, we didn't want to spend alot.

You said you see your cousins a few times a year and get on with them. So I think it would be fine and nice to ask them. Plus do you have any of them have daughters that might want to be involved as well? I know you said you can’t spend lots of money treating them to hair and make up, but that’s okay. You can do it in your own low budget way.

In your situation I would probably ask the two old friends and the dd of old friend. And possibly another newer friend if there was a suitable one (where othered wouldn’t be offended) but I also think it’s fine not to have anyone.
just a thought would your old friends be a bit miffed if they weren’t asked? Like you are taking a stand on where the friendship is at.

I didn’t have any bridesmaids. My husband did have a best man. I just couldn’t really be bothered with them. I have sisters, friends and a female cousin that I’m really close to. I just didn’t feel the need

U can choose not to have bridesmaids.

Groomsmen used to be ushers didn't they ? I know my Dh had an usher and a best man they were supposed to guide the day show people where to sit etc,

I don’t think it’s awkward to ask people you were close to in the past. I once had a friend contact me out of the blue and ask me to be a bridesmaid, who I hadn’t seen in at least 5 years. I thought it was sweet that she thought of me!

Cousins and future SIL. Then no quibbles.

Wrt the two women who I was a bridesmaid for...i just don't know because I would now class them more as casual friends/acquaintances. Aside from saying congratulations they've not shown any interest in the wedding. We don't speak, i sent one of them a card when her child was born and messaged asking how they were doing and never heard a word back.
The other friend works shifts and claims she's busy etc but is always going on nights out or holidays with her other friends. I don't think this is how good friends act, I haven't had an actual conversation with either of them for around 7 months. I used to travel to see them an hour away but they have not been to see me, once.

Yup. Especially with the friend with a baby. That's likely why they've not seen them much - as opposed to not being friends.

But why are you worried about what other people think? Its your wedding, do it how you want to and own it! Let people ask the questions and just smile and confidently say, ‘I didnt really want or need bridemaids…not my vibe.’ You dont owe anyone an explanation.

We didnt have wedding cars or a cake or a first dance and I walked myself down the ailse, all things that some friends and family have done differently. I also had a couple of nieces as flower girls but no adult bridesmaids to match my DHs several groomsmen because it just wasnt me (and i have several life long close friends - none of them were put out by this).

End of day, your wedding your way. Dont let out dated conventions stress you.

I completely understand what you mean about having friends but no one close enough to ask to be a bridesmaid.

I have saying it but I would be a bit miffed that my DP wants 3 groomsmen and you have none.
I think this needed to be a discussion and if I was him I would have chosen not to have groomsmen.

I find it odd that this wasn’t a discussion and why it wasn’t planned that you’d have the exact same number of bridesmaids/ groomsmen.

I think child bridesmaids are adorable and won’t look weird but you obviously need to know kids that can do it and pay for their dresses (although these don’t have to be expensive).

Do the groomsmen have daughters even.

If anyone asks you can always say you always wanted to a bridesmaid when you were little and think it looks really cute and less pressure for people, so you’ve always wanted child bridesmaids.

Yup. Best man, and ushers. Groomsmen is a bit of an Americanism. But honestly - it's the groom's wedding too.

Bridal parties do not need to match. But if OP wants bridesmaids and isn't really sure who to ask - family is often a good/ non-controversial option.

What are "groomsmen"? DH had one best man and a couple of ushers.