AIBU to be mildly annoyed when greeted in my own home throughout the day?

[Sugarnspicenallthingsnaice]

DH and I are normally a very close and loving couple but very different in this respect and I find myself irritated at times.

I greet him (very warmly and affectionately) first thing in the morning if we've woken up separately, or if one of us comes home from being out.

He has to verbally acknowledge me literally every single time our paths cross in the house. If one of appears up or down the stairs. If one of us comes out of the bathroom and encounters the other. When one comes inside from the garden. It's most often accompanied by a banal and rhetorical question; Watching TV? All finished? All clean? Minding your own fucking business? (OK, I made that last one up.)

Do you do this?
If you don't, would you find it annoying?

i usually greet my boyfriend with an expletive

😅 funny! (sorry, I can see how this would be irritating).

This thread reminds me of a joke by Adam and Joe (remember them?!) about people putting kisses on the end of every text message during a long conversation and if they did that in real life - kissed someone after every sentence 😅

Oh yes this annoys me.
DDs boyfriend asks me how I am several times a day when he stays over, literally everytime he sees me, i feel like screaming you asked me that 5 mins ago so just let me have my cup of tea in peace!
He's a lovely lad other than that.
DH in the other hand barely acknowledges me, in fact I could do with him just looking up and smiling when he see me or saying goodbye or hello as he leaves the house or returns home.
2 extremes both a bit annoying in different ways.
I was bought up to say morning/night/hello/goodbye as appropriate , but not everytime you walk into the room during the day

I get it, OP!
I have a colleague like this. Every time I pass him he has to speak. I’m sure he asks me 20 times a day “how are you?”. Literally might have asked just 5 minutes ago. Drives me bonkers 😆

This would really annoy me too!!! YANBU

Ignore the comments from the closed-minded, humourless people who have to be dramatic and judgemental; I’m sure they have perfect morally pure marriages and never get annoyed at their partners…ever!

you have an ally here 🙌

I suspect this is the start of a general unravelling. Next it will be the way he laughs, the way he slurps when he drinks tea, the way he combs his hair. The genie is out of the bottle.

I don’t know why you don’t tell him?

Your request and ideas for what you would prefer are entirely reasonable.

Why put up with something irksome rather than communicate?

Really? I was under the impression that married people, especially those in long term relationships, always annoyed each other in some way or another.

I think that if two people, certainly if they are both working from home, are doing very well if they still love each other after many years. Surely the odd irritating habit is par for the course. Mine drives me bonkers sometimes but I still love him.

He might love you?

Sounds like maybe you're together in the house too much? Anyone will get on your nerves after a while (and for the record the inane questions would annoy me too). Could you maybe go out for a walk by yourself once a day or something? Then you might not feel so irritated.

Yes mine does it. He’ll say hello everytime I walk into a room he’s in. Every time. All day. Every time.

not sure why. Of course I can’t say anything as he’ll say I’m just making conversation, or geez I’m just saying hello. So i ignore it.

Have you tried HRT op?

God I must be the most annoying wife in the world. I also ask where he’s going when he leaves as well 😂😂

Sounds just like my husband and I can still find it irritating, after 35 years, but try to be humorous in my responses. When he can see exactly what I’m doing but has to still ask the question, I smile and say, nooo I’m milking a cow! Or something like that. He then grins, twigs it was a daft comment and reins it in for a bit.

Aww id say he sounds loving kind acknowledges you .. I understand at times it could irritate you but honestly imagine the opposite of that.. why havent you done this .. what are you doing that for not acknowledging you when you walk into a room just staring at a TV.
You could talk to him about it but not sure how you would broach it .
Maybe its a you thing you could look into what age are you .. why has it suddenly started to grate on you .. could be peri-menopause all of a sudden certain things will infuriate us look into it x

It doesnt have to be the extreme opposite of never speaking to each other though, I think another person constantly narrating everything that you are doing would grate on anyone eventually
Not everything is down to the menopause , sometimes people are annoying!

Would you prefer he ignored you?

I was raised to believe that ignoring people when you encountered them was rude.

Yes, that does sound pretty annoying!

People change as they get older. What might have been unnoticeable in the early days becomes more pronounced as age creeps up

Also at no point have any of us spent week after week month after month just being with this person

Mine was away 3 weeks in every 4 and the 4th week he was out of the house for 12 hours per day for 5 days of that week.
When Covid hit and we had to spend time with one another. That was when the rot set in.

God yes that would drive me mad - does he ask when you’ve just had a shit?!

Weird, clingy and needy. Would do my head in.

People saying you're being a moody bitch or whatever have clearly never had a long term partner who does this. It's the pointlessness, the sing song tone of voice, as if speaking to a child ('all clean?'), the constant inane non-question questions. It's frankly a bit un-masculine, like shouting out 'din-dins!' when dinner is ready, or using words like ticketyboo ...... I wouldn't mind if he just said hello darling or something simple.

I honestly don't know what the answer is but am reading with interest!