AIBU to be mildly annoyed when greeted in my own home throughout the day?

[Sugarnspicenallthingsnaice]

DH and I are normally a very close and loving couple but very different in this respect and I find myself irritated at times.

I greet him (very warmly and affectionately) first thing in the morning if we've woken up separately, or if one of us comes home from being out.

He has to verbally acknowledge me literally every single time our paths cross in the house. If one of appears up or down the stairs. If one of us comes out of the bathroom and encounters the other. When one comes inside from the garden. It's most often accompanied by a banal and rhetorical question; Watching TV? All finished? All clean? Minding your own fucking business? (OK, I made that last one up.)

Do you do this?
If you don't, would you find it annoying?

Not so long ago, it would have been seen as very weird to not talk to your partner around the house, and to have your nose in your phone asking strangers about it.
And I'm only just over 40!
I think it's nice and much better than what a lot of people say their other half treats them like. Good example for the kids too. Or do people not talk with their kids any more either-mine would make these sorts of comments to me.

If you can't tell him this annoys you then pop some ear pods in your ears and next time he greets you point to them faux apologetically to show you can't hear him.

Not usually, unless I know that he has a current 'problem '! But then he'd probably announce it before I got the chance to ask! Lol

This does sound seriously annoying OP. I’m surprised you don’t give him cutting remarks back to shut it down, such as “No shit Sherlock”.

Its projection of their own issues, Splitting ( black and white thinking) and Misogyny

I don’t think the OP has said that she doesn’t talk to her husband around the house, just that there is no need for inane questions like ‘all good?’ when she comes out of the toilet! And I’m with her, this would infuriate me.

That would absolutely irritate me too.
He's twittering on inanely.
Very irritating.
It's very needy, possibly anxiety and a bit of a stim for him.
He doesn't mean any harm by it, but definitely irritating.

Quite. I assume some posters are deliberately misunderstanding or maybe just bored and it's AIBU ...

It would irritate me too, and has with a previous close relationship. He started to comment on absolutely everything I did and almost keep tabs on me and it got to the stage I could do anything without him making it into a talking point. I dont need a comment every single time I empty the dishwasher or clean the sink or do the ironing. Started avoiding him in the end, as he refused to lighten up. I think he was kind of controlling actually - he would jump in to 'help' even when I didn't need or want it, and told him so politely but unmistakeably clearly. Ruined a previously great friendship.

Talk to him! It is a different communication style and it creates a rubbing point and either you talk, or it can build up into something more hidden, but also subtly bigger.

" hey George, you know I love you dearly, Im just noticing a difference in conversational style and it's starting to wind me up a bit. Can we talk it out?

I notice that you check in if I do anything - go outside, go to the loo, put the washing out - and it feels quite a lot if you comment on everything. I live you dearly, but it's okay to just let me get on with stuff without a needless comment" or some such.

Has he always done it, or has there been a change at some point?

I often get irritated with my husband who I love to his bones. It can be difficult to live with another human, especially if you're an introvert who loves your own space and quiet. I'm not great at keeping these things to myself either - so I would definitely mention this but frame it as a 'you' thing rather than him being annoying, and maybe suggest something else he could do. We often give each other a quick bum squeeze when we walk past each other, for example.

What I think can be a lot worse than any of this is failing to communicate that you don’t like it, while simmering with resentment.

We are often too polite to say what is bothering us, so we just stew on it, until we explode with anger.

I think it’s weirder to wander around ignoring each other when you cross paths. So I’m probably more like your DH. Although I’m more likely to touch DH than speak I suppose.

That said, if DH is being irritating I will just ask him why he’s being a boring old man asking inane questions.

I have exactly the same issue Op. We both work from home and actually get on extremely well. I just can't stand being acknowledged every time I make a sound. For instance, when I come downstairs to go to the toilet Dh will shout "love you" from his office. Grrrrrr. I do tiptoe about sometimes so that he doesn't notice 😂

Now I understand this isn't a big problem and we love each other and don't want to get divorced. However it's just a irritation, and I would expect most people that work and live together have irritations. I know that things I do irritate him too. I just wanted to tell the Op that I understand how she feels.

But someone saying 'nice and clean now are you?' after you come out of the shower, and 'reading your book are you?' when you are reading your book! And 'enjoying that KitKat are you?' when you're eating a KitKat, and constant comments on everything you do is tedious, tiresome, and pointless!

I don't get it. This morning when DH got up, I was on my laptop surfing the internet, and the first thing he said is 'on your laptop are you?' I was like I just nodded and rolled my eyes a bit. Of course I fucking am! I said 'got up out of bed have you?' And he was like

He asks me inane questions and speaks nonsensical, not-needed drivel half the time, but he looks confused, and sometimes a bit annoyed when I do it.

Every time I go for a shower, he looks up and says 'enjoy your shower.' I have started doing it to him.. 'I'm off for a shower' he states. 'ENJOY YOUR SHOWER!' I call to him as he makes his way to the bathroom. He's like and seems very slightly agitated by it.

Like when we're out - and walking together, and we come across a 1-person wide path/walkway, he always holds his hand/arm out and says 'after yooooooooou!' I think 'thanks for giving me permission to go first.' Maybe I was going to walk in front of you anyway!!

I have started doing this to him too. I hold my hand/arm out and say 'after yoooooooooou!' He sometimes looks so annoyed when I do it to him, and I don't know why!' 😆

That was a lot of emojis there sorry! 😆 ^

Gosh anyone would think its the 1950s and women, make yourself pretty and smile when you DH is talking to you or he will leave you and you will deserve it
JFC!

I think it's worth trying to aware of the actual meaning of conversations like this OP.

The words themselves are just filler, they're not important and yes, they're stating the bloody obvious, which when you're fairly literal minded (which I am and it sound like you may be) can feel a bit irritating.

The meaning behind those words are the important part though. He's saying "I see you, I've noticed what you're doing, you're important to me"

Every close relationship will have something like that in it. For me, I tend to touch DP lightly, on the arm or back as I go past her. It means the same thing. Me and DD tell each other "You smell", "No, you smell" when one of us walks into the room. The words aren't important, it's the call and response that matters.

Honestly? You do sound like a grumpy cow tbh, lol. Just tell him how you feel, nicely in case you hurt his feelings, and then everyone can move on. You just like less verbal interaction than him by the sound of it.

I really couldnt disagree more
Communication is mutual and it should be mutually respectful

What the Op describes is draining and lacks respect for the others needs, asking her inane questions like a child that simply dont need asking or a running commentary about what she is doing .
Bids for connection are mutual not one sided

She needs to talk to him

Call and response is a lovely description.

Have a day where you agree to do a silly dance every time your paths cross. It'll either bring you closer together through laughter, or make you both realise that divorce is the best way forward 😀

I don't entirely disagree with you, except I'd say that the OP finds it disrespectful and draining, rather than it is those things A lot of other people on this thread don't find it that.

The problem is, OP hasn't told her husband that it annoys her, so he has no way of knowing that he's getting on her nerves.

If she tells him and he keeps doing it (or at least starts making a real effort not to, it's hard to instantly change an ingrained habit of years), then yes, it's disrespectful.

Oh this made me laugh so much as I could relate 100%.

OP are you 51/52....? Because I'm pretty sure it's just a perimenopausal time of life thing....

I guess I'm just a massive bitch because Captain Obvious questions like that would get a sarcastic reply from me at best. Hardly sexy asking if I'm all clean when I've just showered like I'm an old dear with dementia. Lucky my DH just starts a normal conversation with me to connect. A look, a smile, or just comfortable silence is fine if there is nothing to say. However commentating on my life is a no from me. Borderline attention seeking behaviour, requiring responses to questions you already know the answer to.