For feeling hurt?

[WhatIsntInAName]

Context - Eldest of 4 siblings (all girls). I'm the oldest by a few years, around a decade between me and the youngest. No falling out I'm aware of, speak regularly. We're all pretty spread out but I'm not the furthest away. I'm not the only one married but I am the only one with children.

Feeling pretty miserable in myself as I've just had a miscarriage so maybe I'm a bit more sensitive than usual but I've just seen a post on one siblings social media looking back on a year of fun.

It's all 3 of my other siblings. Over at least the past year they've been on holidays together (and currently away on a European city break), theatre trips, concerts. I wasn't invited to any of it. None of it mentioned when I've asked them what they've been up to or got any fun plans. I actually asked one sibling a month or two ago if they were free this weekend to go visit them and they said they were busy. Now I know why.

AIBU to just feel really hurt?

Is this not just three very close siblings as has always been the case.

And you aren’t part of that closeness. But no drama or anything.

sorry for your loss, OP💐

it does sound like they’re being mean but they may genuinely think you don’t like these types of things? do you have similar interests?

ETA: did you only just find out about the other trips? as in they never told you?

Well, you feel how you feel. Hurt has nothing to do with reasonableness, and you're obviously feeling fragile after your miscarriage. However, it is vanishingly rare for four siblings to all be equally close to one another, and I think it's helpful to accept that there's no onus on any sibling group to always include everyone in everything. It may not always be like this, either. I find with my sisters there are periods where different pairings or trios are closer than at others.

Edited because double posted for some inexplicable reason.

I've just seen a post on one siblings social media looking back on a year of fun.
Personally I find this beyond my comprehension and experience. Yes I've had fun times and fun experiences in my life they have all been mixed in with a very real dose of mumdanity and doe right misery. Do your sightings really have such frrivolous lives that they actually have yesr of fun with no downsides?
Yes if they are excluding you then it is hurtful. But realistically if they are happy to live the life style they are living and be so thoughtless and unpleasant to you aren't you better off living your own life and not bothering about them?

They posted on SM a collage of photos of what they’d done this year?

Hardly crime of the century

Ouch op, that sounds so hurtful and even more so, given that you're going through a major loss.

I would be inclined to mention feeling hurt, excluded and maybe even the miscarriage but I know it's not something everyone would do.

You're not unreasonable to be hurt @WhatIsntInAName but this sort of behaviour rarely happens in isolation.

It'll surely depend on the interpersonal group dynamics/personalities involved, don't you think?

I’d feel really hurt too.

Do you all generally get along? Is there room for your relationship to get better?

Sorry where does it say about the collage of photos?

Who is talking about crime of the century?
OP is talking about a series if events she wasn't invited to but which her siblings arranged. She is very entitled to feel hurt. Can you really not empathise with that?

Ouch ☹️.

Sorry OP.

My sisters do that too. It hurts.

I think you just need to tell them how you feel. I reckon they just assumed you’re in a different stage of life and just didn’t think.

Why not add a breezy Where Was My Invite ?
Or just add a heart emoji to each and every pic and memo to self not to give a fuck in future .
Save your money and stop any cards and gifts. They have made their feelings or lack of known.
They sound quite nasty.

I would talk to them about how left out you feel. It might not have occurred to them that you would like to be included. Condolences on your miscarriage.

Of course you are not unreasonable, that must be really hurtful.

It doesn't really matter what the history and context are, that's not a nice thing to see, and must be raising questions for you.

Can't believe all these posts managing to deny that this would be hurtful and is not kind or normal!

Exactly

we just get a fraction of it

Of course it matters what the history and context is 😕

Yes but we have no idea what the history and contact. Say these three had always been very close, much closer than either the Op. it happens often. They have not just suddenly started doing this. They are fundamentally much closer and appear to always have been. Who knows why? We don’t

Ouch. I always thought I wanted sisters but the more I read/hear/see the more glad I am for my one totally uncomplicated and kind brother.

I’m really sorry OP I’d be beyond hurt by this and you aren’t being unreasonable.

Op Im one of 3 but they more close as their kids around same ages. It does hurt yes. I just ignore it now.

Autumn yes I would have liked a brother. Women are hard work lol

No we don't know why they are behaving in such a hurtful manner to their siblings.
Just because they are close does not excuse them dishing out unpleasant behaviour to their sibling.
Why are you trying to excuse their behaviour?

Sorry OP, I would find that upsetting too.

Is there one of the 3 you could talk to about it? Tell them you would enjoy spending more time and ask if you could all do something together?
I do think this is probably more because you have kids, than anything against you personally.

Not to whether she’s hurt or not