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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be hurt I’m not invited to the whole of my friend’s 50th?

584 replies

ArcanaQueen · 11/07/2026 10:31

I’m part of a 6 women friendship group. The group has quite a strong identity, we always meet for each other’s birthdays and we go away for a weekend together every year. One of the group is having a glamping/camping party for her 50th. It has become apparent that while I’m only invited for the Saturday night, the rest of the friendship group is invited for Friday and Saturday nights. I get that she and I aren’t as close as some of the relationships in the group. She sent me a text saying do I mind just coming on Saturday as she’s trying to keep numbers low for Friday. AIBU to feel quite hurt? Saturday night is the main party night with more people coming so perhaps I should just feel happy with that, and ordinarily I would if it wasn’t for the friend group context re. the Friday night, which just feels a bit “ouch”.

OP posts:
scoobysnaxx · 13/07/2026 20:43

ilovemykindle · 13/07/2026 20:25

OP do any of the other friends know that you have been excluded from the Friday night.
If so what did they say. If they are going along with you being left out they are just as bitchy
as the birthday girl

Yes have they reached out to you? Said anything?

outerspacepotato · 13/07/2026 20:50

I agree with a lot of the others. She's read this and is trying to give an excuse that's stupid bullshit.

When she went low, you went high and that's the best way to leave this group. No fuss, no muss, you give them no headspace or cake and you concentrate on new friends and activities.

nomas · 13/07/2026 20:54

ArcanaQueen · 12/07/2026 23:10

Thanks all. I’ve received a further, warmer message with more explanation. I’m not going to go into detail as I think it could identify the family — re very particular things they’ve been through — but suffice to say they’ve been under stress in the past and some effects are still around. Although I think I would have handled things a bit differently if I were hosting, I’m opting for being gracious but realising my place for the future and seeing it as a sign to focus more on my individual friendships rather than the group. PS. I’m not bringing the cake.

That's a good balance between gracious and assertive, I like it. How did they react to you not bringing the cake?

honeyrider · 13/07/2026 21:19

He BB if you're still reading this thread you're nasty.

beAsensible1 · 14/07/2026 14:48

godmum56 · 12/07/2026 13:22

But if its ok to do it then why is it not ok to mention to the rest of the group? Either they all know and are fine with it or shit scared to object. or they don't know and if the B.day girl thinks its an ok thing to do then why should they not know?

Show quote history

i didnt say they should know, that would be accomplished by asking them not sending a pissy message to the group which will likely just be ignored.

godmum56 · 14/07/2026 15:17

beAsensible1 · 14/07/2026 14:48

i didnt say they should know, that would be accomplished by asking them not sending a pissy message to the group which will likely just be ignored.

Show quote history

I wasn't suggesting a pissy message

Anonyanonay · 15/07/2026 10:03

FairKoala · 13/07/2026 08:56

I would also take a lot of the updated excuse with a pinch of salt

It will be BS, designed to make you feel sorry for her/her family.

This woman is a toxic liar who has recognised herself on here and has hung together events and what they as a family have been through and stress as the reason you aren’t invited to all her party . it will all be designed to make sure you know her not inviting you is not her fault.

Love to know the updated reason. I bet it’s got more holes in it than Swiss cheese

This. Birthday Girl, if you're reading this post, we see you for the nasty piece of work you are!

Mammut · 22/07/2026 19:54

How did it go @ArcanaQueen?

Aslana · 23/07/2026 07:40

I understand you would be feeling puzzled and hurt but after her later text and what people have said here you have decided you have better things to do. Re-evaluation of your relationship with whole group. Very silly woman and not worth your attention.

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