AIBU to feel upset when my teenager hates our family holiday?

[Me1987]

Teenagers and holidays. Please make me feel better
Currently on holiday for a week in a hot country to celebrate youngest finishing GCSEs and she's absolutely miserable, refuses to go in the pool and constantly has a face like a slapped behind.
Only can afford a holiday once every few years so trying not to take it personally, She actually helped choose this holiday and this was something she wanted until we actually went away

Please tell me I'm not the only one

You're definitely not the only one! Teenagers can be so unpredictable, and sometimes the reality of a holiday just doesn't match what they imagined.
Try not to take it personally. The fact that she wanted to go when you booked it doesn't mean she isn't enjoying parts of it, it just might not show in the way you'd expect. Hormones, tiredness after GCSEs, the heat, or simply being out of her usual routine can all make teenagers seem grumpy.
I'd be inclined to give her a bit of space rather than trying to persuade her to enjoy herself. Quite often they come round in their own time.
And if she doesn't? That doesn't mean you've failed or chosen the wrong holiday. I'm sure she'll look back on it more fondly than she's acting right now. Hopefully you'll get plenty of replies from parents saying they've had exactly the same experience!

Hard as it is, try not to take it to heart. She's a teenager and this is their thing. Believe me in a few years after she's had holidays with friends and realises the cost of everything, she'll be begging to go away with you! 😆

Went away a few years ago and eldest -15 - was absolutely miserable the entire time. Only emerged at 4pm to eat chips and play bingo. Thankfully the younger two enjoyed the holiday whilst their brother would sit on a sun lounger, fully clothed and ask to go ‘back to the room’ once he’d been fed and watered.

We were recently reminiscing about family holidays and now 18 yo so referred to that holiday as ‘one of the best ones ever.’ Apparently it was a great resort
and he’d happily return 🤷‍♀️

I remember years ago I was like this and my dad lost his temperature and basically made me see what an ungrateful little shit i was being. He was right and I came round!

It's par for the course OP I'm afraid. I called it a day after mine started this behaviour. I took them to a kids holiday camp and then went off, as a single mum, exploring Greek Islands with a girlfriend. They loved their holiday and so did I.

Im a granny now and this was in the 90s. Not sure whether those holiday camps still exist these days.

Our daughter, then 14 or possibly 13, spent almost the whole time in her villa room, making a horrific mess with her clothes and throwing rubbish on her own bath room floor, until I found it all and tidied up, before the visiting maid service saw.

About two days before we were due to leave, we’d been there for 2 weeks ( huge lovely villa with pool) she complained that she hadn’t got a tan, and needed to get one. !

She’s grown up to be a great, if messy, woman . 😂

Let her get on with it, and enjoy your holiday.

my brother and I were cut off from family holidays at 16 for this exact reason.

You stayed at home whilst your family went on holiday?

She might be feeling stressed about waiting for her results, to add to the usual teenage angst.

Don’t take it personally.

She’s at the awkward age where it’s incredibly uncool and boring spending a holiday with parents, but obviously too young to go abroad with friends.

Just let her sit around with a face like a slapped arse. Don’t force her to go in the pool if she doesn’t want to. Just let her chill.

Typical teenager; as awful as it sounds; just ignore her; offer for her to join in if she says no just leave it; walk away & leave her doing her own thing go & enjoy what you’ve chosen to do; ask her to join you at mealtime & again if she's says no leave her once she realises she’s not getting your attention & your not upset she might grow up & join in

I stayed at home for a week when I was 16 with my 20 year old sibling while my parents went to Greece for a week. And when I was 13, my sibling who would have been 17 stayed at home when we went to Majorca.

I'm not sure what the problem is. So unbothered and untraumatised I am by it, I'd completely forgotten i had stayed at home and only realised when I came across my parents holiday photos a few years ago!

I can remember being like this at around 15 we were in Spain and I sat and watched mtv for most of the week sulking in the apartment 🤣🤣🤣 don’t know what my problem was tbh

my younger sister and parents just got on with it went to the pool and did activities and slagged me off a bit !

I guess she is on her period? Not wanting to go in the pool, might be she just doesn't like using Tampons, or having really bad stomach cramps. If she is the hot weather is probably making it worse.
I am guessing this, because she picked the holiday, she clearly wanted to go but mother's natures gift is a bit*h

I don’t have a teen but I remember being a teen and I hated holidays with my family, I remember missing my friends massively and just generally feeling quite bored. I just don’t think teens appreciate holidays in the same way we do, as they don’t need the escape from the daily grind that we do. Nice food, views, chance to chill and read, not quite the same for a teen and even water parks / sightseeing etc can get boring (to a teen) after a while. If it’s any consolation I went onto have lovely holidays with my parents in my 20s and now at almost 40 we still go away together.

I think this, @Me1987
I could be a real little shit when I was younger. Ungrateful, whiny, rude - you know, a teen.
I remember one particular trip when I was being ”me” and evidently Mum had had enough. She sat down with me and quietly walked me through how little she made on her teacher’s salary and how much the hotel room cost every night and how much she was paying just for our food every day.
And THEN - she showed me the receipts for all the clothes and shoes she’d bought me over the last few days. It was eye watering.
But the part that got me was this: Mum said “I would happily spend every last cent I have on you. I’d take you far and wide. Because I love you so much you can’t imagine. And I’m so very sorry you are so miserable on this trip. I’ll do everything in my power to make it better. Because I love you. So incredibly much.
And boy oh boy that got me - I felt like the world’s worst kid.
And my mother Nancy - the world’s most expert manipulator. lol
I learned a lot from her.
And oh how I miss her.

Went on a holiday with dd when she turned 13 - moaned about everything, face like a slapoed arse, even though it was incredible. Stopped taking on holidays after that. Irony is, NOW she waxes lyrical about said holiday!?

We have an autistic 12 year old who is super sweet, polite and well- behaved. But it’s a minor miracle if they don’t (politely) ask “When are we going home?” every day on holiday :) All the differences that make most of us love holidays are stressful for them. Never thought I would be the type to go to the same exact place more than once but tbh it’s worth it to see them actually enjoy a holiday (and to not hear that question).

@Radicalrach well my brother stayed home first when he turned 16 while the 3 of us went on holiday and then I stayed at home with my brother a few years later while my parents went away.

Neither of us felt like we were missing out on a holiday at that age, it was way better being home without parents and free to see our friends.

So it wasn’t so much them cutting you off. It was you saying you didn’t want to holiday with them and them saying ok?

A few years ago my foster teen wanted to come on holiday. We let him bring his best mate too. His friend was delightful and we could tell he really loved the things we did whereas foster teen seemed to sulk my st of the time. Strangely he now, several years later, looks back fondly on that holiday. He seems to have forgotten how silly he was.

She's a teenager, just ride it out, a). you won't be able to get her out of it until she gets herself out of it, or b). she's actually enjoying it but has a face like a slapped arse as she's a teenager or c). she's upset about something completely outside of the holiday so back to a). I can imagine it's disheartening but she probably is enjoying it.

Actually I like going on holiday with my teens they get on better with each other when we are away and we generally have a laugh. I make time to play cards and swim with them and they like a nice restaurant and we’ve had some pretty good adventures so no to date I haven’t had a bad trip yet. Fingers crossed that doesn’t change. I think they also believe if they behave like twats I wouldn’t take them anywhere EVER again.

@Radicalrach Oh no they always made it very clear that 16 was the cut off point, so we knew when it was coming.

It just so happens that we were perfectly happy with that arrangement.

I dare say that if I had kicked up a fuss and really wanted to go with them they would have brought me along.

Yes I’m sure if you’d been keen to go they wouldn’t have said to their 16 year old… no!!

but I guess that depends on the family