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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to feel upset when my teenager hates our family holiday?

213 replies

Me1987 · 05/07/2026 15:11

Teenagers and holidays. Please make me feel better
Currently on holiday for a week in a hot country to celebrate youngest finishing GCSEs and she's absolutely miserable, refuses to go in the pool and constantly has a face like a slapped behind.
Only can afford a holiday once every few years so trying not to take it personally, She actually helped choose this holiday and this was something she wanted until we actually went away

Please tell me I'm not the only one

OP posts:
Paramaribo2025 · 05/07/2026 15:14

Leave her to it.
She can fester in her hotel room the whole time or whatever, then.
Enjoy your holiday.
Don't let her spoil it.

Bufftailed · 05/07/2026 15:15

Given she wanted to go I’d tell get straight how frustrating this is, your hard earned money etc. Then enjoy your holiday. My DC was annoying on one trip. I then laid down boundaries in advance an let him choose to come or not.

chipsandpeas · 05/07/2026 15:16

Bufftailed · 05/07/2026 15:15

Given she wanted to go I’d tell get straight how frustrating this is, your hard earned money etc. Then enjoy your holiday. My DC was annoying on one trip. I then laid down boundaries in advance an let him choose to come or not.

Edited

Did you actually read the OP's post where she said her DD helped choose the holiday

Batcats · 05/07/2026 15:18

I know it's hard but its unfortunately typical teenage behaviour. I came across my teenage diaries recently and came across entries from our family holiday to Florida which no doubt cost my parents a small fortune yet I wrote pages and pages of whingeing of how my hair straighteners didn't work, moans about my parents and wishing I was at home with my friends.

We've had much more enjoyable holidays as adults together! Try not to take it too personally

CrikeyMajikey · 05/07/2026 15:18

First post nails it.
Tell her to have a think about her behaviour. Ask if there’s anything she’d like to do. If not, get on with your holiday without her.

Arcadia · 05/07/2026 15:19

Just back from a few days abroad just me with my DD post-GCSE. Was quite tough as they’ve been under so much stress, and they’re at an age where friends are very important. Also they still need nagging re drinking water/staying in shade/sun cream etc (well mine did!), it’s a difficult age.
first couple of days were tough but we found our stride on the last day and that was enough to make it a ‘success’. It was when I stopped trying to make it perfect for her.
They’re moody at this age. I’d say just let her be, you can’t control their moods. Tbh she’ll probably be telling everyone she has a great time once you’re back!

pottershell · 05/07/2026 15:19

I don’t have teenagers, but from what I hear this is pretty common sadly
my 5 year old is already putting me through this, never ending whinging and misery when away for an expensive holiday we can barely afford (but have scrimped and saved to do ‘for memories’)

We try to start trips with our expectations on the floor, but even then sometimes I’m disappointed because clearly expectations not low enough!
I think sadly it’s just something you have to expect and then just try and enjoy whatever parts you can around it. I think after the event you forget some of their misery and will take away a few little happy memories … so hopefully that’s the case for you

TeenLifeMum · 05/07/2026 15:21

I’d let her know the impact her behaviour is having on the family and leave her in peace to consider how she behaves moving forward. If there’s something she wants to do she needs to let you know but sitting with a face on all holiday is a no.

I read a lot about “that’s normal teen behaviour” on mn and I’m genuinely baffled by the behaviour mn puts up with. While I agree some teens can be like this, you’re absolutely fine to tell them to buck up their ideas and reconsider their behaviour. (Mum of 3 teen DDs).

cheezncrackers · 05/07/2026 15:21

You're not the only one. DS1 is 18 and has been bloody awful to holiday with at least some of the time since he was 13. There are occasional holidays that he enjoys and is a joy to be around, we had one last October that was great, but at new year we had an absolutely awful week during which he kept begging to be allowed to leave and come home.

He's due to come with us for two weeks in August (planned and booked last autumn) and I'm praying he doesn't ruin it, because it will be my first break for 7.5 months and I really need it. DH is determined that this will be his last holiday with us and if he's a miserable git in August then it will!

Arcadia · 05/07/2026 15:22

Have you checked with her what the issue is about going in the pool? Could be period or body confidence?

herbalteabag · 05/07/2026 15:22

Tell her how you feel. That you can't afford many holidays and you were looking forward to enjoying it with her but her behaviour is spoiling it for you, She's plenty old enough to take onboard how her actions affect other people.

OriginalUsername2 · 05/07/2026 15:22

I’d assume it’s hormones and she can’t help it.

tarheelbaby · 05/07/2026 15:23

Tough as it is, just have as much fun as you can and try not to notice the teenaged behaviour. If she's just finished GCSEs she may be panicking about her results.

I had a terrible holiday with DD1 post A-levels b/c she was v worried about her results. She said she wanted to come ... (fortunately, she earned the grades and has had a great year at university)

Even when they say they want to come, I'm not convinced teens always do. I think a lot of it might be FOMO or uncertainty about what they'd do otherwise: not quite ready to stay home alone but not able to enjoy a family holiday like they used to.

DysmalRadius · 05/07/2026 15:23

Has shw said what's bothering her? Too hot? Pool too busy? Fight with a sibling? Doesn't like the food? I'm sure we've all had times when we thought we would enjoy something but didn't, but there might be something you could help with if she can verbalise her issues?

Soddingcat · 05/07/2026 15:26

I’ve sent my oldest DS home from holiday on a plane before from France , as he wasn’t enjoying it ,( his choice !)

another memorable trip we had a lovely villa on the shore of Lake Como , and my 15 year old DD spent lots of time googling flights home as she was missing out with her friends 😳

I have also got lots of family pics where all 4 DC are glued to their phones ignoring incredible scenery / landmarks behind them .

they are grinches at this age
the key is to let them enjoy wallowing in their misery and not letting it bother you

they now all still love coming on holiday with us at 20 , 23 , 26 and 27 , and cringe at their behaviour !

I would suggest leaving her to stew , go and take a book and have a lovely time on your own,

please don’t let it spoil your time .
its very common

have a fab time and grab a 🍹

Sparkletastic · 05/07/2026 15:30

Have a firm word with her and try to establish what the problem is. If no improvement tell her that you are going to let her have some time to herself and have a day apart.

Greenmountains · 05/07/2026 15:34

OriginalUsername2 · 05/07/2026 15:22

I’d assume it’s hormones and she can’t help it.

I think this too

PantheraTigris · 05/07/2026 15:38

I don't really understand the issue with her staying out of the pool. How does that ruin your holiday? Have you asked her what she'd like to do?
I get it, it's annoying, but I remember having to sit at the pool/beach all day at that age and I hated it.

Kokonimater · 05/07/2026 15:41

I did the same thing when I was 16. I sulked all week. I was determined to prove to my parents I did not to be on holiday with them. I guess it’s normal. All part of individuation. Separating out from parents.
it’s really tough. The last holiday I booked with my teenagers we went to Ibiza - clubbing and foam parties. They were ok with that - happy memories !

TeaBiscuitsNaptime · 05/07/2026 15:44

That's teenagers for you. Mine doesn't want to go on any holiday this summer or do anything with me. He seems perfectly happy mucking around with his friends and gaming. Teenagers are happier to do their own thing away from parents and to explore and figure out who they are. I would reassure yourself that it's normal, try not to fight back and let it all go over your head

GeorgeMichaelsCat · 05/07/2026 15:50

Let her be miserable.

hay5689 · 05/07/2026 16:09

It’s a teenage thing. Mine are adults now and I remember my eldest point blank refusing to come so he stayed with grandparents and a few years later my youngest absolutely ruined it even though we gave her the choice to stay home if she wanted to. Every time we left the resort and she lost the WiFi it was like she’d lost a limb, we laugh about it now but at the time I could have strangled her. Sending solidarity to you OP, I can’t really offer advice because there’s nothing that will appease a moody teenager but you are not alone!

Miranda65 · 05/07/2026 16:12

Don't you remember being a teenager, OP? You wanted to be at home hanging out with your friends, not stuck on a family holuday with The Olds and ghastly siblings. Just leave her to it, make sure she's fed regularly, and go off and enjoy your days without her.

worcesterpear · 05/07/2026 16:17

I remember my eldest being like this when she was 13. She was going through a lot at the time but was awful, we'd chosen the place and the trip based around her really. Every since, she always wants to come away with us anyway and is much more pleasant. Dd2 is not a fan of holidays, but we give her the option and she comes anyway. As long as there's wifi she mostly just stays in the accommodation.

JLou08 · 05/07/2026 16:18

I've had this with both my teens. They just want to be with friends at this age, don't take it personally. Leave her to sulk and make the most of your holiday, she might chirp up at some point.

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