To have gone for after work drinks tonight?

[tillyougetenough]

This week has been horrendous at work. The office has been hot, pressure from management has been insane, we’ve all worked different hours due to the heat and it’s just been incredibly draining.

We all decided to go to the beach for a few drinks tonight. It was well needed and deserved, even if it was just to sit in the shade and the breeze!

I got home around 10, I’ve had three cocktails. Not huge, I’m not wasted, just pleasantly tipsy. My partner is outraged, he thinks I have a drinking problem and has genuinely suggested I go for counselling for my “alcohol issues”.

WIBU to go?

NOPE.
Perfectly reasonable.

that Depends really , did you need a drink or want one? Do you do this multiple times a week etc.. based on what you’re said I wouldn’t think you had one but presumably your partner loves and cares for you and is raising it out of concern?

I drink very rarely. I’ve probably not drank to excess since my brother’s wedding in 2022 (when I had just met my partner), and only really drink at social occasions now, even then it’s rare as I’m usually driving. I can count on one hand how many times I’ve had a drink this year (one!)

Or because they want to control OP

Assuming you didn’t drive home, three drinks over presumably several hours for an impromptu work de-stressing evening on the beach really doesn’t sound excessive (and that’s coming from someone who barely drinks).

Was his problem that you had three nice drinks and an evening on the beach without him?

Your partner sounds awful.

No, I did text him on my lunch break to ask if he wanted to join and he said no, he would take the opportunity to order a pizza and watch the football. He’s just really, really angry that I had a drink

He doesn't want you to go out but he doesn't want to blatantly say that so he's focusing on the drink instead. Absolutely continue to do as you please because you will feed his ridiculous insecurities otherwise. This is his problem, not yours

Partner sounds like a right dweeb

Oh ffs. He’s a total controlling twat. Move on.

It's hard to know without more info

• do you have any responsibilities that then landed on him (kids /pets /other)
• did you let him know so he could make his own plans
• are you sure you are a good judge of how tipsy you actually are?

He might be a controlling nob though.

Not that it excuses his anger, but is there a reason he reacts to alcohol? I know people who have grown up with alcoholics and are very upset by people drinking heavily

No other responsibilities. No plans, and I’d say I’m a fairly good judge. I’m not falling over or being silly, just happy and a bit tired

If there are, he’s not told me. He’s happy to have a pint, and for his mates to have them.

If your update is a true representation of your drinking habits, then he is totally unreasonable.

3 cocktails once in a while is not an issue in my opinion. That sounds like me. I rarely drink alcohol, but if I am in a situation like you described this evening then 3 fruity drinks would have gone down very nicely.

if it was 3 cocktails 3 times a week I would think that was too frequent.

I think it's this. I don't drink much, sometimes years can pass but since it's been hot, I've been having a bottle of lager in the garden about 8pm but tonight I got a can to have with my tea about 6 o clock and dh felt the need to comment. "You've started early haven't you " i just said "and". He shut up because I've told him more than once this week that I am retired now and not in the market for a boss. Tempers may be becoming frayed because of the heat.

He sounds controlling.

Assuming you didn’t land him with any joint responsibilities with no notice then Yanbu

He sounds horribly controlling- why can’t you have a drink, bearing in mind everything you’ve told us about not being a big or dependent drinker.

Genuinely at most social events I’m choosing a soft drink and probably water, I don’t tend to drink because I don’t really feel it does much for me. I get a bit more relaxed but I also tend to become more quiet and introverted when drunk so I stay away from it!

If he's outraged over 3 drinks and you hardly being a drinker, I'd hate to see how he reacts to a real problem. He truly needs to get over himself. Was he jealous you went and had fun without him?

This sounds very controlling.

Three cocktails on a weekend when you only drink rarely is perfectly fine and not excessive. You deserve to kick back with friends/colleagues once in a while.

I would challenge him to explain why he thinks three drinks on a Friday night once in a blue moon is an alcohol problem, because it absolutely is not and he won’t be able to justify it. It’s not even like you’re properly drunk!

Would you be unreasonable to go where?

Hard agree

Ffs, I meant AIBU to have gone! 🤦🏼‍♀️🤣

No, just bloody knackered after a really hard week.

I don’t really understand his problem. It’s one for the morning because he’s up to watch the football and I’m half asleep!