To have gone for after work drinks tonight?

[tillyougetenough]

This week has been horrendous at work. The office has been hot, pressure from management has been insane, we’ve all worked different hours due to the heat and it’s just been incredibly draining.

We all decided to go to the beach for a few drinks tonight. It was well needed and deserved, even if it was just to sit in the shade and the breeze!

I got home around 10, I’ve had three cocktails. Not huge, I’m not wasted, just pleasantly tipsy. My partner is outraged, he thinks I have a drinking problem and has genuinely suggested I go for counselling for my “alcohol issues”.

WIBU to go?

It’s that she is no longer working so had no further need for line management and certainly doesn’t require it from her husband.

@lazyarse123I love this as a response and think with a tweak OP can also use it i.e. “I have a boss at work I’m not in the market for another one at home thanks”

He is controlling.

Yeah I would be taking this as a red flag. Its controlling, if he doesn't come out with a sincere apology this morning I would be reconsidering the relationship.

At first I thought perhaps there was a back story of drinking, which would make more sense. But if it's as you say it is, then he likely doesn't like that you went out without him. Controlling.

This is exactly how it starts. Please, please don't apologise or be 'trained' not to do it again. This is massively unreasonable of him. As a PP said - he needs to be coming with a massive apology this morning. Perhaps he was hot and grumpy - I know I have been this week. But if I'd accidentally uttered something that sounds that controlling (I don't think I would), I would be taking it back first thing and making it clear it wasn't going to become a pattern. How dare he ruin your lovely breather!

I'm now very wary of men who feel the need to suck joy. It took me longer than it should to recognise the pattern of behaviour where every good event was ruined by someone else's moodiness.
If you don't have big ties to this man, in your shoes I'd be seriously reconsidering the relationship. Actually, even if you do have ties, this behaviour needs nipping in the bud before you get to a stage where it's easier to not go out than to deal with his behaviour when you come home!

He’s still very grumpy this morning. I didn’t immediately say good morning as I went downstairs, and slept in a little (8:30 as opposed to 7:45), and he’s accusing me of being hungover and ruining our plans today - I’m not hungover because I wasn’t really drunk, I slept in because the last week has been exhausting. I’m a bit fed up of it.

That’s sounds like relaxing fun after a hard week. You must have nice work colleagues.
Your partner is a jealous controlling person. You are your own boss. He’s using his jealous nature as a stick to beat you with. Tell him to get stuffed.
I can’t stand men like that .

You had a lie in until 08:30 on a Saturday and he’s accusing you of being hungover? He’s really clutching here, isn’t he?

Tell him you’re angry not hungover, you slept in because you didn’t want to look at the sulking sod who is still moaning.

I meant 8:20, but yes he thinks I’m “hungover and grumpy”, and that it ruins our day. We’re going for a family BBQ and to watch the football in a friend’s garden. Hardly the day of days 🙄 I can’t be bothered for it to be honest

id have laughed at him and said “yeah I can see how that conversation with a therapist goes”

“I’ve had alcohol once this year - it was 3 cocktails on the beach with colleagues and my partner thinks I have an alcohol problem”

“why does he think that?”

Then look at him for an answer - and whilst waiting for an answer that can never come plan my escape from the knob.

Honestly, I’d tell him to piss off and take yourself out for the day. Maybe a nice cocktail or two by the beach is in order 😉. Pathetic man child that he is.

Are you bothered about the football? Why not just go to the BBQ then head home and he can go and watch the football.

Every now and again (maybe twice a year) I go out with my friends for work for ‘a couple of drinks’ and end up dancing the night away in a club and rolling home in the early hours. My dh never turns a hair, gets up with the kids in the morning, does all the childcare stuff and brings me regular glasses of water and pieces of toast until I’m ready to get up and face the world.

He would never dream of commenting on the amount I had drunk or anything else, other than asking me about my night and whether I had a good time. Your DP behaviour is awful and he doesn’t sound like a nice person.

You need to have the row, I'm afraid. Have it out this morning properly. Otherwise him being grumpy just leads to you being resentful.

He is being jealous and unreasonable. If he is often like this, it is absolutely not acceptable.

Are you going to talk to him about this? The facts of the situation are at odds with his reaction so I'd want an explanation..

I don’t mind watching England, plus the friends have a lovely garden so I’d be happy. But he’s just pissed me off this morning by being such a grumpy twat

I agree. You don't need to scream and shout. But you do need to 'get it out'.
-What exactly is your problem with me going out?
-Why do you think 3 drinks os excessive over an evening?
-What have I ruined - because the only person ruining things here is you.

How long have you been together? How old are you? Do you really want this forever....

This is exactly it in my view too

Is this relationship making you happy op?

I would prefer to be single. It’s fun and peaceful.

Sounds like you need a new partner, one who enjoys Sangria in the Sunshine or Prosecco in the Park or can appreciate a dry Martini after a hard day in the office... Someone who likes to celebrate life!

Cheers!

He's controlling. Is this how you want to live your life? How would it be when he has children to bully as well?

Next time you get asked out for a drink after work you'll remember the grief it caused and think, oh it's not worth it. This is his aim.