To have gone for after work drinks tonight?

[tillyougetenough]

This week has been horrendous at work. The office has been hot, pressure from management has been insane, we’ve all worked different hours due to the heat and it’s just been incredibly draining.

We all decided to go to the beach for a few drinks tonight. It was well needed and deserved, even if it was just to sit in the shade and the breeze!

I got home around 10, I’ve had three cocktails. Not huge, I’m not wasted, just pleasantly tipsy. My partner is outraged, he thinks I have a drinking problem and has genuinely suggested I go for counselling for my “alcohol issues”.

WIBU to go?

Your dp is being a dick your a fully grown woman who can make her own decisions not sure if this will work long term if he can’t even let you have a few drinks after work but he can drink bit odd that. Glad your not living together he’s being a spoiled brat I wouldn’t even gone back to his tbh to be insulted. Fuck that.

so why are you staying with this prince among men?

Is this a one off him being grumpy and controlling @tillyougetenough ?

And the eggshell moments begin.

I am so glad I'm single and live alone. I have a partner for over 20 years, but we don't live together. That's the key to freedom and is the recipe for a great relationship. In my case anyway.

OP, if you want to tread on eggshells going forward, don't go out, stay in, be on guard for his criticisms, watch your friends disappear, and the rest of the well worn script will be evident.

Think about it. It's no way to live.

Work drinks sounds fun.

Nagging partner less so.

Exactly. No idea why women put up with this sort of insufferable shit. Mind boggling.

Spoil his weekend a bit more, break up with him.

What a misery he is.

My DH's team organizes Happy Hours every few weeks and I encourage him to go. If I'm able to drop him off in the morning, I do, or he leaves his car at work and takes an Uber home. I'm self-employed so I don't have them, but I'd go if I did. Nothing wrong with relaxing with a couple of drinks after a tough week.

It doesn't sound like you have a drink problem but you do have a controlling boyfriend problem.

You don’t live together, it would be incredibly to just call this off and move on with your life.

I think there is a place for analysing relationships and he said/she said but no kids and no shared home? Meh. Move on.

Whose family is the BBQ at @tillyougetenough ?

His - really up to you, but I suspect he'll either drink water all night to prove his "point" and be a misery guts or get bladdered. Really up to you if you can tolerate being in the same room/garden with him tonight. 🙄

Yours - go on your own and enjoy the time with your family, and have a few drinks!!🍸🥂🍺🍻🍷 🥳😁

He's being very judgy if he goes out and drinks enough to get "merry" sometimes but wants you to be sober. You're not a nun ☕

I think your husband is trying to manipulate you. I would assume it’s just another way to control you.

What you did sounds idyllic and lovely, OP, and just what you and your colleagues needed after a pressured week. I think DP is jealous!

You had a tough week and you and your coworkers got together for drinks. You had 3 over the evening, you weren't driving, I see zero problem here. And I say that as someone who doesn't drink alcohol.

Your partner is being very controlling here. Outraged when he himself drinks is applying double standards to your behaviour and his. He's massively overreacting to a nothing.

Have there been other instances of him being controlling such as not wanting you to go out or meet up with friends?

What excuses? I've read the whole thread and not seen a single post that didn't call this guy a controlling arse who needs dumping, apart from one or two early ones before OP clarified that she didn't often drink.

OP we have your back 💪

Trying to control you

dump

Is he controlling in other areas of your life?

He couldn't stand that you had fun, that didn't involve him. If he wants a companion animal, get him a pet. TV coverage of the match kicks off at 20.45, or 6pm (sky sports but it's the same recycled stuff) a brief lie in hasn't made a difference. I wouldn't put up with this, whatever decade of your life you are in, don't waste it on someone who doesn't recognise your autonomy and who sulks.

Wtf have I just read? Your partner is massively unreasonable and controlling - who the hell does he think he is??? You're a grown adult, you can drink what you like, you don't need his permission. And this is one of less than a handful times you've even touched any alcohol all year and he accuses you of having a drinking problem. HE IS THE PROBLEM. You have done nothing wrong whatsoever - 3 cocktails in one evening is a totally reasonable amount, especially after a hard week. And you say he often goes out for pints with his mates?! The fucking cheek of him! One rule for him but another rule for you? I tell you what, if my partner said to me what yours has said to you I'd fucking tear him a new one. Absolutely outrageous. Tell him to mind his own sodding business.

He sounds like a controlling idiot, ltb asap

You need to ask him to explain.

You don't see the issue. 1000 people on here dont see the issue. So unless he uses his big boy words and explains what the issue is, then there really is no issue other than him having a man mood and behaving like a controlling prick.

Just say to him "you're right. I cannot see the issue, so if you have an issue with me having a couple of drinks after a crazy week at work then you will need to explain as I have no idea why you're in such a mood! I wasnt drunk, nor am I hungover, and I slept in 45 minutes longer as I'm tired from work!"

Thank goodness you don’t live together. Time to get rid of him. He’s not nice at all. You deserve a LOT better. Have a nice day at home. Alone. 💐

If that comment is directed at me - I am not making excuses. I merely said if he had genuine concerns he wasn't wrong to want to raise them, but what he actually said and how he said it was totally inappropriate.

Can't believe people on here have no comprehension skills.

I bet them three cocktails were lovely 😋 followed by a moment of clarity. You really don’t need this shit OP X

I understood your comment and mumsnet is great to get a range of views. @Createausername1970 was not excusing this controlling spoil sport just offering one possible perspective.