To have gone for after work drinks tonight?

[tillyougetenough]

This week has been horrendous at work. The office has been hot, pressure from management has been insane, we’ve all worked different hours due to the heat and it’s just been incredibly draining.

We all decided to go to the beach for a few drinks tonight. It was well needed and deserved, even if it was just to sit in the shade and the breeze!

I got home around 10, I’ve had three cocktails. Not huge, I’m not wasted, just pleasantly tipsy. My partner is outraged, he thinks I have a drinking problem and has genuinely suggested I go for counselling for my “alcohol issues”.

WIBU to go?

This

He said you’re not seeing the issue? Probably because there isn’t one!
Is he usually a dick?

He sounds like a controlling Dick
He having a drink today with friends watching the footie? Socialising?
If he can and you can't fuck that shit
Don't need that controlling bullshit in your life

He sounds like an arse who is trying to punish you for having a good time. Is it rare for you to socialise without him? Does he often try to start arguments or put you down if you do?

It sounds like he's got the 'maddona/ whore' complex and he's hating the idea that you're actually a human being rather than some saintly non drinker. Agree with everyone else that his behaviour, especially doubling down this morning, is a massive, massive red flag.

Hmm. I am still definitely team OP, he is being a twonk, but I suppose he might have been concerned about the way you phrased it.

If this is the case, then it's good he is concerned - but the way he has gone about it, even with the best of intentions, is ridiculous.

So that’s just you and him and he expects you to get up at 8 o’clock on Saturday? that is ridiculous

His follow up behaviour does not indicate concern for OP. In any way. Classic abusive behaviour

the more you say OP the more I think its this. Time to throw this one back.

Is you having a drink and going out triggering for him? It may be there is someone with an alcohol problem in his past?

Does he care to explain what the actual issue is (apart from him)? Because none of us can see it either. He sounds like an oddball.

How long have you been together, and whose home is it?

It's not a normal response to having a drink after work at all. And he's a hypocrite because he likes a drink himself.

I’d get it if I drank a lot and relied on it. But I don’t. This is the first time this year I’ve had a drink

Firstly OP he is behaving like a total bellend 😡 and doing his best to suck your joy and be a fun sponge. This is in the hope you'll decide it's not worth the bother to occasionally go out and enjoy yourself.

Also 8.20/8.30 is by no means a long lie for a Saturday to be blamed on a hangover !!!!!

Also a few evening cocktails on the beach just sounds like absolute heaven !! 😍

Together 2.5 years. We don’t live together but alternate between places. We both sometimes like our own space but see each other regularly. It’s not like it’s a LDR where it was our only weekend together.

Exactly. He would have a point if you were an alcoholic or problematic drinker, but that’s clearly not the case. Saying “I need a drink” is just a turn of phrase, much the same as people saying “I’m starving” when they’re a bit peckish.

My ex was quite controlling around the things I said and it honestly becomes unbearable because you start policing your own words and thinking about every little thing you say before you say it in case it’s wrong. It’s no way to live.

That's good. I think you need to stand firm on this. You'll have a drink if you want to. You're an adult and make your own choices. And if he doesn't like it, he can stay away.

He sounds like hard work @tillyougetenough
I’d be thinking long and hard about this one.

That's good, you can give him lots of space for the foreseeable future.

Jesus, he's being absolutely ridiculous.

OP do you live together?

Does he try to control other areas of your life?

I'm sorry you've found yourself a controlling insecure idiot.

Please throw him back.

Just imagine, you could have a partner who encourages you to let of some steam after a horrible hard week at work with a few drinks AND brings you a bacon sandwich in bed.

He sounds like a complete mood hoover!!!

Have one drink at the BBQ and make it very obvious. None = he wins, 2+ = confirms you're an alcoholic in his pea-brain.

Honestly it comes across as weird and controlling. I'd hate to feel I couldn't enjoy a wind down after a busy week. Or sleep in if I wanted to. He's jealous. I hope you're making him drive today so he can't drink! I would also be quite clear he can't dictate my choices.

Thank god you have your own place.

Genuinely sounds like the start of some controlling behaviour. Are you at your place? I’d suggest you stay at your own place tonight. He’s ruining the weekend for absolutely zero reason.