To have gone for after work drinks tonight?

[tillyougetenough]

This week has been horrendous at work. The office has been hot, pressure from management has been insane, we’ve all worked different hours due to the heat and it’s just been incredibly draining.

We all decided to go to the beach for a few drinks tonight. It was well needed and deserved, even if it was just to sit in the shade and the breeze!

I got home around 10, I’ve had three cocktails. Not huge, I’m not wasted, just pleasantly tipsy. My partner is outraged, he thinks I have a drinking problem and has genuinely suggested I go for counselling for my “alcohol issues”.

WIBU to go?

Agree with this, and all the other posters saying it’s about control not the alcohol.

Going out for a few drinks after work is a completely normal activity (not every day obviously), and three cocktails now and then doesn’t indicate a drinking problem. It’s just a convenient stick to beat you with and stop you going out without him. So depressing reading about these controlling partners.

He is being totally unreasonable and 'training ' you not to do it again. If he makes life miserable enough for you, you'll think twice about going out next time. Is it worth the hassle you get....

I cannot understand how you've 'ruined the whole day' by sleeping in until 8.20am. You're obviously not hungover and he's gaslighting you by telling you you are.

What a controlling, sulky, nasty manchild.

His behaviour is not normal.

He is trying to make you feel guilty and bad and doubt yourself.

Please please think about getting away from him.

And don’t have children with him.

He's being a controlling weirdo if everything you say about your drinking is true.

Sorry OP he sounds like a controlling arsehole. Do you really want to live like this?

You don't have a drink problem, you have a partner problem. Is this how you want to spend the rest of your life? With a man that can't and won't have you having time to yourself without his consent. He is a misogynistic Git and life will only get worse with this manchild. Your choice.

We’ve had a conversation and he’s skulked off, saying that I’m just “not seeing the issue”

You've had a small lay-in, that doesn't constitute being 'hung over' and definitely hasn't 'ruined plans'. You had 3 cocktails, and we're a little tipsy, it's hardly the crime of the century. Clearly something else is going on here with your husband, and it's not the fact you had 3 drinks. He's using the alcohol as an excuse.

Did you go out with male colleagues? Is he a jealous person? Can he be controlling?

Oh, I'm sorry. It seems very clear that the issue is him. Did he give you any more clues about your supposed indiscretion? Still claiming 3 cocktails is a drinking problem?

Your partner is a dick

What is the issue supposed to be?

(my issue would be he’s a controlling arse but what does he say?)

Because there is no fucking issue

More like he has realised there is no issue but doesn't want to admit he's been a twat.

What an arsehole, of course YANBU.

Is his issue, "oh so you'll drink with THEM but you won't drink with ME?!?"

OP, as a matter of interest, does your partner also think every person who was out with you last night also has alcohol problems requiring counselling?

Seriously, I’d be telling him to shut the fuck up over this, or pack his bags and piss off.

His main issue seems to be that I said I needed a drink in my text. I understand why that could be concerning if I drank all the time, but I don’t

Honestly, OP, based on what you’ve told us here, your partner sounds abusive and controlling. Does he usually try to stop you going out with friends? Whatever you do, do NOT apologise. You’ve done nothing wrong and an apology will just feed his self-righteousness about this. Longer term, if he makes a habit of behaving like this, you should be giving serious thought to walking away.

Are you absolutely sure he isn't just unhappy that you were out, enjoying yourself, without him?

Tell him to grow up and get a grip!!! You’re entitled to go and enjoy yourself and let a bit of steam off!! So is he not going to be drinking watching the football?

He is just another man who doesn’t like his partner, resents her having a good time, and wants to control her. Hopefully you can see it for what it is and start making plans to live a happier life without him.

Will he be having a couple of drinks watching the football? Will he have a problem if you do the same, as long as you're with him? Regardless though, he's being a knob, and next time you have the opportunity to go out after work you'll think twice because of his behaviour. Which is exactly as it's intended.

Well the issue is he's a controlling twat, trying desperately to control you under cover of concern for your wellbeing because he knows he can't come right out and say "I don't want you going out".

The issue is he's sulking and giving you the silent treatment so you apologise and don't do it again.

Call him out later, he'll be trying to get people on his side no doubt.

"I had a really stressful week with work so had 3 cocktails on the beach with some work mates last night. He went off on one saying I was rolling drunk and apparently this morning I was hungover! I know I don't drink a lot but I'm not that much of a lightweight ha ha. Either the heat has got to him or I just think he doesn't like me going out (tinkly laugh)"

Don't get defensive, laugh at him for being a knob, call out that you know he's being controlling, you're happy to let other people know he's being controlling and you won't stand for it.

I guess he'll be having a couple later and that's fine, because he hasn't texted that he 'needs' a drink?
Controlling idiot!
If offered a drink later, I hope you refuse intensely. Let everyone know you're in the doghouse for 3 cocktails last night, so you can't drink at all this evening...
Hopefully he's capable of embarrassment.

@opToday, I would have a couple of wines at the BBQ to really rattle his cage. He is being a total
🔔end