To have gone for after work drinks tonight?

[tillyougetenough]

This week has been horrendous at work. The office has been hot, pressure from management has been insane, we’ve all worked different hours due to the heat and it’s just been incredibly draining.

We all decided to go to the beach for a few drinks tonight. It was well needed and deserved, even if it was just to sit in the shade and the breeze!

I got home around 10, I’ve had three cocktails. Not huge, I’m not wasted, just pleasantly tipsy. My partner is outraged, he thinks I have a drinking problem and has genuinely suggested I go for counselling for my “alcohol issues”.

WIBU to go?

Bloody hell what a miserable shite he is. As someone who's also worked all week in the heatwave me and DP said sod it on Thursday and went to a pub for tea and had 2 whole pints each! Call AA! He also brought a couple of bottles of cider home yesterday which we drank in the garden. Call the police!

We rarely drink in the week so Thursday did feel like we were bunking off school 😅

You need to stand up for yourself and tell him he's completely out of order for being mad at you for having a night out with your workmates, you're a grown up, you are responsible, and you are entitled to have a few drinks. Just like he does. His suggestions that you have a problem are actually offensive and concerning and he needs to apologise and/or take himself off to counselling if he can't see that.

Honestly tell him to fuck right off. Controlling twat.

Tell him you'll stop drinking if he stops watching football.

Only read OP's posts. It seems like he's trying to find a way to end the relationship, and that he can use your drinking habits to blame it on you.

There is nothing wrong with enjoying a few alcoholic drinks.

I would not move the relationship forward (living together, engagement, etc) unless he addresses his issue. And this is his issue. Don't let him make it yours or drag you down. I would strongly urge counselling if you don't know what's driving this controlling behaviour re alcohol ... all right for him but not you apparently and he was grilling you about it immediately! Just, no.

Get rid.
He sounds like a joyless fun sponge who is trying to keep you in your lane.
This is only going to go one way so save your self the grief and just move on.

intervention to try and save you from a dangerous drinking habit? Fair enough. Being an arsehole because you had a rare few drinks with friends after a tough week? Nope. That’s weird controlling behaviour.

He’s showing you who he is.

DO NOT IGNORE THIS.

you have no ties to him, don’t live together and seemingly don’t plan to. Good.

phase this one out.

who the AF does he think he is lecturing you about having a drink with your colleagues after work.

the next thing will be that you’re cheating on him.

he’s beginning to start to erode your personality. This is the beginning of your destruction

sounds dramatic, but controlling arseholes start imperceptibly small, and build. This is a seismic jump and you’ve clocked it. Make this the fault line you don’t ignore.

Get out now.

So on the nights when you aren’t seeing each other are we to assume that he has an early night with a mug of hot chocolate and a good book.

Or does he perhaps GO OUT WITH HIS FRIENDS AND HAVE A DRINK!

OP, he's an arsehole.
A controlling one.
He has no business speaking to you like that.

Think long and hard about your future and if this is what you want.
It will get only a lot worse.

He is not husband are father material.
So glad you don't live together.

Get out of there now and go home.

Please don't be talked around.
This is how abusive relationships start.

To be honest even if you were a bit drunk I don’t think it’s a big deal if it’s a one off and we’re not talking vomiting and being unconscious kind of levels.
There really is no “issue” here.
Does he have a history with alcohol you don’t know about? Or did one of his parents maybe?
This is the only reason I can think for him to act this way apart from being a controlling arsehole

Is he controlling in other ways?

I would be rethinking my relationship if I were you, do you really want to live like this the rest of your life?

I’m going to be going back to mine shortly. I can’t be bothered with it after such a long week

I mean, you could say to him ‘you’re taking my text too literally, of course I don’t need a drink but I wanted one. And I did need to kick back and relax after this week, and so I’ve done what I wanted. How exactly is this impacting you?’

…but I would be so seriously wary of him and the future. Further commitment with someone controlling (and that is what’s going on here) is not a good idea.

He sounds controlling and a misery.

@tillyougetenough does he have form for this? I can't imagine this is the first time he's been such an arse.

You say you don't drink often but does he behave like this around other things?

Is it? Do you have to be unpleasant and joy sucking multiple times for it to be unreasonable?

I mean any issues are his and this grump is very unattractive while the controlling nature it speaks off is positively off putting. Glad you are doing your weekend on your terms. I would be having a serious think about him.

U have a partner problem. Soz.

I said the exact same phrase yesterday, it had been a shit day at work.

its a throw away phrase, did I really need an alcoholic drink? No, did I fancy a cold beer? Yes, so had a bottle or two.

Not sure I follow your question, but if OP doesn't frequently drink or drink to excess then her partner is being a dick, I think.

She did go on to say that she doesn't, so I guess he is, but tbh, I haven't kept up with the thread.

Has your partner always resented you doing things you enjoy and want to do? And does he always make everything about himself and play the victim? He sounds exhausting and controlling.

Indeed, it's something I say quite often after a stressful day, even though I actually rarely drink 🤣.

I say it a lot - when everyone’s does the “does anyone want a drink” round at work you frequently hear “vodka! Wine! Gin!”, it doesn’t mean we’re all sat there drinking!

I often say it then go and have a bath

Partner is controlling
Get rid
Can't believe people on her making excuses for a shitty man

I think get on with your planned day and have a lovely time.
Just ignore him and talk to everyone else.

If you go home, he will no doubt say its because of your 'hangover'.

Be clear with him though, that whilst you didnt get drunk and dont have a hangover, if you had chosen to do so, it would totally be your decision and you are not his possession to control or judge.

I'd also be wondering if there is a difficult history with drinking in his close family. Unless its all about controlling you (which is obviously not good), the his is a very strong reaction.